Chia

Wondering if anyone has successfully eliminated binge drinking from their life and returned to being an under control or "social" drinker as its called. I can go a month or several months without a problem (ok with consuming well under 4 drinks a week) or no drinks at all, but then I will loose track of how many and especially how strong the drinks were that I had especially if its a get together or sat night thing. That's where I need to focus. At least I believe that's where I could start. I also did quit completely for 5 months and thought wow, this is not so hard, guess I can just be the occasional or social drinker now! Ideas for treating just the bingeing but still having a controlled relationship with wine and dinner etc? Is that feasible?

Dee74

Welcome Chia

I'll be honest right off the bat...it's not possible for me, and I don't believe its possible for the very vast majority of us...

In my case, alcohol changes me and once I imbibe I lose my control....for me it's like trying to control the uncontrollable.

but... to date me saying all that has never stopped others here from trying again

What steps will you be taking this time to make sure you don't end up like all the other times?

D

Chia

Oh dee74 - I am looking at the 14 steps online to stop it by doing things like:
- counting not just the drinks and stopping after your 2nd or 3rd ( bingeing being defined as four or more) but knowing how strong those drinks are (is it wine? Is it a mixed drink, does it have more than 1 shot etc?) which I never used to pay attention to really. Just one drink could equal three depending on how it's made etc. and having food in yr stomach, having a friend with u who is in the same boat so u can monitor each other and your agreed limits, etc. they r pretty clear cut just wondering if anyone has tried and succeeded following them.

Dee74

There's not many adherents of moderation here, mostly because so many of us have tried and failed.

all that measuring and cataloguing sounds like the sort of work I used to do to keep alcohol in my life though - it's pretty exhausting and ultimately was not very effective in my case

I found logic and statistics never appealed to my addiction...it liked emotion impulse and 'buy now pay later' .

D

ersatzmatriarch

yeah, i've tried moderating... never worked for me.

and honestly, now that i'm not drinking, the memories of trying to count drinks makes my head spin. it was soooo much effort... and in the end, i always got wasted anyway.

quitforme79

Through my 20's I was able to more or less "control" my drinking BUT I would have sporadic black out events, nights of regret etc. Then it progressed to alcoholism for me. I proved over and over that I couldn't go back to moderation no matter how hard I tried. I accept now that I can't drink safely...when I do have a thought to drink at times it isn't for a glass, I want the WHOLE bottle.

Junegirl

The reason most of us are here on SR and not a moderation management website is that we haven't had success with moderation, even after many attempts. Let me qualify that, I did have success moderating for a week or so, was fooled into thinking I was okay, then went back to binging even harder.
I finally decided to get off the roller coaster ride altogether and haven't looked back. It really is so much better to just take the option to drink off the table, IMHO. Hope you consider it,

June

Tamerua

I have tried to moderate and sometimes it has worked but for the most part.... Not so much.

Deckard

Moderation was like being in a wrestling match that never ended, and that I never won.

Invictus19

Well, for me I finally came to the realization that I want to binge drink EVERY time I drink. Drinking in moderation is too boring for me. Was I able to do it sometimes? Sure. But there were loads of occasions where I planned to moderate and failed miserably.

Quitting is so much easier. I think if you know you have to moderate, but you really don't want to and it frequently doesn't work that you might have to call a spade a spade and admit you're an alcoholic.

Best of luck.

Invictus19

"Moderation was like being in a wrestling match that never ended, and that I never won." - Deckard

Awesome line. It describes my ordeal perfectly.

Nuudawn

When I quit drinking I realized that if I took one drink....I had NO CERTAINTY of what the outcome would or could be. I might be able to have two...or I might end up under a bus. That thought actually came back to me today at almost 6 weeks sober when I thought about having a drink to ease some rather overwhelming anxiety and discomfort. There were many many times I went out for "A" drink and ended up...embarrassingly, irritatingly inebriated or simply blacked out.

Those days when a drink turned into a black out. I did not want to get drunk. I did not intend to get drunk. I had obligations awaiting etc etc...yet I did anyway.

Its kind of like playing russian roulette for me...and always will be.

Jsober

Moderating was never fun for me. I could moderate from time to time but I never enjoyed it. Moderate drinkers don't have to control their drinking, they just don't have the urge to drink more. If you are counting drinks or forcing moderation that is not normal. You may want to keep that in mind as you experiment.

Songtx

I feel like we need to make a whole forum page called "moderating". I can't tell you the number of posts I have seen regarding this topic, including my own.

By the way, I am also in the "moderation does not work for me" camp.

LadyinBC

I will never be a moderate drinker. I drink to get drunk period.

aw58

Hi this question seems to pop up a lot , and like everyone is saying most of us have been where you are. I too was a binge drinker and I tried really hard to tell myself ok I will have just two/three but after the second one I didn't care the alcohol just took over. What Im learning since being on the forum is that if you have to ask the question then you do have a problem. I think when we all start drinking we control it then eventually it controls us, its very devious and can creep up over a long time. You did really well for five months, I did 8 months and thought Id cracked it then I did 6 months again thought I won but nope I started drinking again and within weeks it came back ,.This journey is about acceptance, when you can accept you cant have a drink then you can start rebuilding your life and enjoying it a different way.

aw58

me too

MrPersonality

I never understood the desire to want to drink moderately. The whole reason I would drink is to get drunk. Catching a buzz and stopping before getting drunk would be just teasing the situation. What I don' like about getting drunk are the blackouts and the strange erratic behavior that got worse and worse over time. I would do stuff that made no sense. I would impulsively tempt fate for the sheer manic thrill with no rhyme or reason. In the end drinking made me crazy and the scary part is a part of me likes being crazy like that, but only when I'm actively super drunk. When I come to I'm mortified at my stunts. I'm a real Dr.Jeckyl and Mr.Hyde type drunk. That's why blackouts for me in public are particularly terrifying. Not that I always do horribly embarrassing stuff, but it happened enough that I knew I couldn't trust myself when drunk.

Invictus19

Sometimes I have wondered if I had grown up drinking casually at dinner with my family if I would be a normal moderate drinker.

I now know that is bullsh*t thinking. I LOVE to get drunk. I have no interest in casual drinking. I want more booze. It is in my genetic code. Once that first one hits I am off and running and I am ready to drink till the sun comes up.

1 drink equals 20. I will always run that risk. It is who I am.

nigey1

Me two