4 months and having a tough time
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
4 months and having a tough time
So today I reach 4 months sober. This is the longest stretch of sobriety I have had since I began drinking 17 years ago.
Things were going along pretty well but, three weeks ago or so things just started going downhill... BIG decisions needed to be made. Today I woke up with a new outlook and I made those much needed decisions.
Life did not stop because I stopped drinking. I cannot use every little thing (or big thing)as an excuse to get plastered. After all, that is the problem not the solution.
So, although I don't feel as if I am "on the brink of relapse" I must say I feel a bit overwhelmed. Its as if I was suddenly put in charge of my life.
Things were going along pretty well but, three weeks ago or so things just started going downhill... BIG decisions needed to be made. Today I woke up with a new outlook and I made those much needed decisions.
Life did not stop because I stopped drinking. I cannot use every little thing (or big thing)as an excuse to get plastered. After all, that is the problem not the solution.
So, although I don't feel as if I am "on the brink of relapse" I must say I feel a bit overwhelmed. Its as if I was suddenly put in charge of my life.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
4 months is a long time, good for you. You probably got through those BIG decisions a lot better because you were sober. And it's better for you to be in charge of your life instead of alcohol. Stay strong jkb!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Yeah, it can certainly be overwhelming when life's decisions come along, especially big decisions. I think you will have gained confidence by making the choices you made and staying sober as well. Next time it will be a little easier. 
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by jkb 
Its as if I was suddenly put in charge of my life.
Nice work on 4 months : )
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
It is true that life continues even though we stop drinking. I wish it would slow down a litte, however! Your post had great timing for me as I'm at a crossroads with my son's father and I'm shouldering a ton more responsiblity then I should. Good thing being sober allows us to stand up straight and tall! Keep on keeping on!
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Congrats on 4 months jkb and well done for dealing with life on life's terms. When I feel overwhelmed I tell myself that I can eat an elephant one bite at a time and I just focus on doing the next right thing instead of trying to solve my whole life problem at once.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
4 months is great work. Congrats! Yes, life does keep on handing us "life" stuff. I feel the same about things also. Being in charge of your life can be a little scary, but I assure you that you can make all these decisions without drinking. You are doing AMAZING work!
Congrats!
Congrats!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
There are moments I wanna scream "For crying out loud people don't you know I just stopped drinking..gimme a damn minute here!!!".
Nice work on 4 months : )
Nice work on 4 months : )
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by jkb
Its as if I was suddenly put in charge of my life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
lol..good one. And I like your sentiment about the world not stopping because you stopped drinking. I feel like that sometimes. There are moments I wanna scream "For crying out loud people don't you know I just stopped drinking..gimme a damn minute here!!!".
When I was actively drinking I tended to just ignore problems/making decisions and eventually the issues would "get resolved". Of-course, in doing this, I have essentially missed my life. It kind-of just passed me by and I just stayed drunk. The only decision I used to make was what I should drink that night.
Now I stand at the crossroads with this particular decision and I am terrified that I am not capable of making the "right" decision which will cause a domino effect....
It feels really good though to know I am not alone in this. Sobriety is tough some days..... drinking however, is much harder.
Idiot!
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 556
Ah man you've got to just keep going! This is it! Peaks and troughs...
They keep coming, it's just the longer you go on the more they level out. You drink again and you are right back at square one. Ride it out. It DOESN'T last foever. If it did no-one would be sober. Just keep your head in not drinking just now, today, and the rest will fall into place. You're actually doing great!
Stu.
They keep coming, it's just the longer you go on the more they level out. You drink again and you are right back at square one. Ride it out. It DOESN'T last foever. If it did no-one would be sober. Just keep your head in not drinking just now, today, and the rest will fall into place. You're actually doing great!
Stu.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Jkb, 4 months and having a tough time? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. You made it 4 months today, I made it 3 years today, and I'm still a bit overwhelmed myself. Its as if I was suddenly put in charge of my life. Yea, how true, and I don't quite know what to do with it. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by jkb
And Damn it.. I am so caught up in my head right now.... I wont have four months till tomorrow. I am a day off...........Oh well.
Happy 4 months!
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Congrats on your 4 months, Jess!
Tough times are always around no matter if we drink or don't drink, so I don't really care one way or the other about tough times. Easy times are also found n abundance too, when one keeps an open mind to opportunities of the moment.
Even in the worst of times, the making of lemonade with life's lemons speaks to the real deal when living life to the fullest. Responsibilities can very often bring new fortunes and new ideas to make the best of any situation, even when things perhaps seem overwhelming or heart-breaking. It's all there for the taking and the giving each and every day.
Sobriety and permanent abstinence for its own sakes does not make my life automatically everything I've wanted for myself. It takes something more from me to be me then just keeping sober. It takes me giving back to myself (and respectively to others) a life that is real and not just another day at the office.
I'm sober not because I have a great life, even though I do have a great life. I'm sober because getting drunk is not what I do anymore, because to drink is to not be able to be the me that I am sober.
Problems and challenges alone were never, and will never be enough to keep me out of trouble with alcohol. Normal consequences for my drinking didn't stop me from drinking. Dying stopped me. A dead inside-life stopped me. Alcoholic insanity stopped me. Hurting and hating myself and others stopped me.
Yeah, drinking stopped me from being the real Robby that I am today and have been for years now through good times and bad. Choices. Life is seriously about choices. We do the best we can with what we are given, and with what we give back in return, I believe.
Stand tall and proud, Jess. No one can live YOUR life better than you can yourself. Find deep satisfaction in that knowledge. The best YOU is the YOU that YOU know YOU CAN BE.
This says it all for me in so many ways:
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
© Max Ehrmann 1927
Tough times are always around no matter if we drink or don't drink, so I don't really care one way or the other about tough times. Easy times are also found n abundance too, when one keeps an open mind to opportunities of the moment.
Even in the worst of times, the making of lemonade with life's lemons speaks to the real deal when living life to the fullest. Responsibilities can very often bring new fortunes and new ideas to make the best of any situation, even when things perhaps seem overwhelming or heart-breaking. It's all there for the taking and the giving each and every day.
Sobriety and permanent abstinence for its own sakes does not make my life automatically everything I've wanted for myself. It takes something more from me to be me then just keeping sober. It takes me giving back to myself (and respectively to others) a life that is real and not just another day at the office.
I'm sober not because I have a great life, even though I do have a great life. I'm sober because getting drunk is not what I do anymore, because to drink is to not be able to be the me that I am sober.
Problems and challenges alone were never, and will never be enough to keep me out of trouble with alcohol. Normal consequences for my drinking didn't stop me from drinking. Dying stopped me. A dead inside-life stopped me. Alcoholic insanity stopped me. Hurting and hating myself and others stopped me.
Yeah, drinking stopped me from being the real Robby that I am today and have been for years now through good times and bad. Choices. Life is seriously about choices. We do the best we can with what we are given, and with what we give back in return, I believe.
Stand tall and proud, Jess. No one can live YOUR life better than you can yourself. Find deep satisfaction in that knowledge. The best YOU is the YOU that YOU know YOU CAN BE.
This says it all for me in so many ways:
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
© Max Ehrmann 1927
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
RobbyRobot-
You are so sweet.
What a beautiful and inspirational post/quote. I will find that online and print it. Something I so needed to read.
GracieLou- That's the truth. Well 4 months today so there ya go....:rotfxko
nef- Thanks. 3 years is amazing.
Chopper/Stu- Nice reminder. Ride it out. That is kind-of my latest mantra.
This community has an amazing way of putting things in perspective. Sobriety is still very strange to me. Some days are easier than others that's for sure. The support I receive here truly helps me so much. Thanks to all of you.
Jess
You are so sweet.
What a beautiful and inspirational post/quote. I will find that online and print it. Something I so needed to read. GracieLou- That's the truth. Well 4 months today so there ya go....:rotfxko
nef- Thanks. 3 years is amazing.
Chopper/Stu- Nice reminder. Ride it out. That is kind-of my latest mantra.
This community has an amazing way of putting things in perspective. Sobriety is still very strange to me. Some days are easier than others that's for sure. The support I receive here truly helps me so much. Thanks to all of you.
Jess
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 119
we all think you are really great for having 4 months & aren't you for being able to come on here & share that with us.
in the last, well, 21 years, the longest i had was 4-5 months, though things are starting to seem more possible for me since i found SR, have been attending AA, been doing research online and looking into professional help.
i've been working on my sobriety every day lately. i want 4 months +, like you have. you're my hero.
please keep up the work. this is a great place. i'm amazed by the love & support here.
sorry for barging in, i need the help too...
in the last, well, 21 years, the longest i had was 4-5 months, though things are starting to seem more possible for me since i found SR, have been attending AA, been doing research online and looking into professional help.
i've been working on my sobriety every day lately. i want 4 months +, like you have. you're my hero.
please keep up the work. this is a great place. i'm amazed by the love & support here.
sorry for barging in, i need the help too...
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