functionalmess

This week started as tough for some reason, but now I'm just struggling. My kids are a burden rather than a joy. My wife secretly is telling people "why should I help him with anything? It's not as though he helps me ( true, not true...my therapist calls her a typical narcissist so I don't really put a lot of stock in what she says.) I'm trickling back into bad habits this week (junk food) and while getting groceries with the kids I stopped at the liquor store and bought a case of beer. I have six cooling right now and I feel lost and alone. I'm essentially ignoring my own children today and feeling in desperate need just to leave everything or at the very least to simply be left alone.

Today is hard. Day 20 and feeling alone.

Nuudawn

Hey hey my Alta neighbor.. So you have a six pack cooling. But you posted here first. Good job there. Hey..my friend...I too have been struggling these days..but there are no answers in escape. We cannot go around..we must go through. Don't crack that beer. You're having a tough week. It's a tough week..not because your sober..but because life just freakin' sucks sometimes. But there's a better way than dulling our senses..escaping. The only way we learn to cope is by building the emotional muscle required..and ya, that's hard work. Someone said something in one of my post responses about just dealing with the "suck" of life sometimes. We just gotta.

Mountainmanbob

functionalmess

Nu, is it a small town Alta thing or what? Left the town, but the booze culture followed me. Thanks for the advice. I'm thinking maybe I should take the six out of the fridge and maybe put a movie on with the kids...or just go to bed and start fresh tomorrow - without the suck.

Nuudawn

Ya know..I think that's a better idea. I'm actually in middle town BC..so I meant neighborin' province : ) Everything is better the next day. You ever notice that? I've had a "shite" day myself. So ya..watch the vid...go to bed early. Fight another battle tomorrow okay? With me?

Bruce292

I know the feeling. The thought that the chemical in that six pack will make it all OK for at least a while. The promises that are made like "if I can just drink tonight I will be good from now on". It's the cycle that seems unbreakable. I know that lonely feeling as well. That hollow feeling in your gut and the idea that nobody really cares as long as you're bringing in the cash or even worse being unemployed. The cycle can be broken. For me it was done in baby steps. Try one thing that makes you feel good about yourself. Even if it's just looking in your kid's eyes and saying you're glad they're here. I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds. I'm only four months sober myself and I'm very reluctant to give advice ... I just know what has worked for me. Be strong and hang in there.

Dave42001

I'm going through some domestic issues lately here too.. Beer will just make it worst.. Hang in there friend, take it one day at a time!!!

Soberpotamus

I'd get rid of 'em, fast. Those six beers aren't gonna fix "lost and alone"... and you probably know that already. Just gonna be a way to avoid reality for a moment.

Don't do it. You'll be glad you didn't tomorrow.

functionalmess

Thanks for the support people. I'm going to turn in (without the drink) and start again tomorrow. You're all an important part of my process and the only thing that kept me from opening that bottle tonight.