the ripple effect of an addict
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
the ripple effect of an addict
I read somewhere on here we can't take on someone elses guilt and wrong doing.
My xah's best friend passed away this week. This man was always supportive towards me and even offered to help financially when my son and I were abandoned. To complicate matters, my x hurt his best friends brother and parents in ways that made me feel ashamed and embarrassed by his actions. So, I had a relationship with his best friend where in which I felt comfortable, but still kept him at arms length. There was no animosity, but a quiet understanding friendship.
What breaks my heart is that my xah lost touch with him. He hadn't been there for his friend when he was sick, for his benefit or when he was here for his last visit. The funeral is next week, and I'm pretty sure he won't be there. I am sure he knows, bit then I don't even know where he is or who he talks to. I know nothing. It's just another instance of how his addiction has effected yet another situation and how truly painful it is. In a perfect world we should of been a family supporting and being there for our friends that we both have known forever. It is just sad. I keep telling myself that I have done what I can to do the right thing and that I shouldn't take on his pain and guilt. This is the path HE has chosen and he needs to deal with it. Unfortunately, this news will probably draw him further and further into the depths of drugs. I wonder if he has a bottom? Is he that weak? That proud? Why he doesn't see all the pain and hurt he has caused is beyond me. Just sad. Sad for the loss of a friend and sad that my x wasn't there for him. They were childhood friends.
My xah's best friend passed away this week. This man was always supportive towards me and even offered to help financially when my son and I were abandoned. To complicate matters, my x hurt his best friends brother and parents in ways that made me feel ashamed and embarrassed by his actions. So, I had a relationship with his best friend where in which I felt comfortable, but still kept him at arms length. There was no animosity, but a quiet understanding friendship.
What breaks my heart is that my xah lost touch with him. He hadn't been there for his friend when he was sick, for his benefit or when he was here for his last visit. The funeral is next week, and I'm pretty sure he won't be there. I am sure he knows, bit then I don't even know where he is or who he talks to. I know nothing. It's just another instance of how his addiction has effected yet another situation and how truly painful it is. In a perfect world we should of been a family supporting and being there for our friends that we both have known forever. It is just sad. I keep telling myself that I have done what I can to do the right thing and that I shouldn't take on his pain and guilt. This is the path HE has chosen and he needs to deal with it. Unfortunately, this news will probably draw him further and further into the depths of drugs. I wonder if he has a bottom? Is he that weak? That proud? Why he doesn't see all the pain and hurt he has caused is beyond me. Just sad. Sad for the loss of a friend and sad that my x wasn't there for him. They were childhood friends.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of a dear friend. It is sad that your XAH won't be there to support those who loved his friend through their grief.
Unfortunately your XAH is sick. Very sick. He's not weak and I don't know him but I know a lot of addicts and they aren't proud. Addiction is debilitating and unfortunately it does affect everyone around it.
I'm sorry your heart is hurting today. You, your XAH, your friend and all who love him will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
Unfortunately your XAH is sick. Very sick. He's not weak and I don't know him but I know a lot of addicts and they aren't proud. Addiction is debilitating and unfortunately it does affect everyone around it.
I'm sorry your heart is hurting today. You, your XAH, your friend and all who love him will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
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