sobriety and family ... not sure what to do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: california
Posts: 43
sobriety and family ... not sure what to do
My mom gets back home sunday night and Im going to ask her on monday if she would be wiling to get sober ( of pills and booze ) so that I can have a chance at sobriety only for a few months so that I can get set up some where else. Im now thinking more into it and I remember all the times befor I started drinking and how bad it hurt to see her relapse and then get sober and then relapse and then not try for years . I know forced sobriety does NOT work and I dont know if I can take it if she where to tell her own daughter no I will not stop drinking and poping pills when its my life that could be on the line....should I leave with out asking...should i ask and face a lot of mental pain...I dont know....end of rant...
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I am sorry for your situation Notfixablte. I am a double winner too and it can be very hard. My advice to you is never to make your sobriety contingent upon another person's. I lived in early sobriety with a raging drunk and stayed sober. It was a bad situation but it is doable.
You mentioned having to live in your car, is there any sober house you could go to nearby? They have some rules but most are pretty affordable and you would have support from other people who are clean and sober.
You are welcome to read and post on the Double Winners thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...loved-one.html
We can become and stay clean and sober and find contentment whether our loved ones are still drinking/using or not.
You mentioned having to live in your car, is there any sober house you could go to nearby? They have some rules but most are pretty affordable and you would have support from other people who are clean and sober.
You are welcome to read and post on the Double Winners thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...loved-one.html
We can become and stay clean and sober and find contentment whether our loved ones are still drinking/using or not.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 226
Oh my, my heart goes out to you. Let me ask you this: what are you doing for your sobriety? I ask because when it boils down to it, your sobriety is contingent on you and only you. Stories abound here of people getting and staying sober while living with active drinkers and users. Yes, it is gutting to see what your mother is doing to herself, and it is not supportive of your recovery. As an active addict, you'll need to shore up support from people other than her. I'm glad you're seeking it here!
As to your question, the answer might be painful - I don't know if the risk outweighs the potential benefit. If you think you know the answer please save yourself the heartache; again other people have shared how they begged and pleaded with loved ones to stop. Have you checked out the friends and family part of this forum? There is a lot of wisdom and support to be found there too.
Wishing you strength and serenity.
As to your question, the answer might be painful - I don't know if the risk outweighs the potential benefit. If you think you know the answer please save yourself the heartache; again other people have shared how they begged and pleaded with loved ones to stop. Have you checked out the friends and family part of this forum? There is a lot of wisdom and support to be found there too.
Wishing you strength and serenity.
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