fedupbeyondall

I knew I shouldn't have engaged him this morning. I knew he had been up till 5am drinking. I knew any conversation we had wouldn't go well. But, as these things often go, I gave in.

When I got up to get ready for work he started in. I just let it roll off my back. But he wouldn't stop, he just kept pushing my buttons. A combination he knows very well. I had just had enough and laid in to him. It started a loud yelling match that I just walked away from. I left for work and stood at the bus stop and he calls and tells me he's leaving. I don't know if he's actually leaving or not but a huge part of me hopes he does and if he should, I don't know if I will let him come back. I do know that I'm done and like I said, relieved, and also incredibly sad all at the same time.

fedupbeyondall

I don't know if things just seem to have progressed really quickly or if I'm just much more aware of what's going on lately. But it just seems that everything has fallen apart in just a matter of weeks. I know it's been building but it just seems to have broken so very quickly.

dandylion

Fedup, I think it is sort of like a snowball rolling down hill--it picks up momentum of it's own as it moves along.

dandylion

fedupbeyondall

Dandylion, this is probably the most accurate analogy I've heard in a while. Thanks!!!

lillamy

Fedup,
I can tell you that the more aware I became of the unhealthy dynamic, the more irritated and quarrelsome AXH became. Once I had made up my mind to leave, without me saying a word about it, all hell broke loose. It was like something in the fumes I gave off changed -- he picked up on it and became aggressive and violent.

I wouldn't be surprised if your partner just threatened to leave to get you to beg him not to. I can't count the number of times AXH told me I should just divorce him and every time it was just a way to try to elicit sympathy.

fedupbeyondall

Oh I'm sure this is just a ploy for attention like so many of the other things that comes out of his mouth. The thing is, I won't be begging him to stay. The only begging I will be doing is for him to pack up his crap faster.