not so happy holiday
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 339
not so happy holiday
I can tell holidays are going to be hard. I recently left my AH and I'm trying not to have any contact with him. I had such a strong urge to call tonight and reminisce about the good times. But those times are buried in the past. Instead I made a list to remind me why I left: vomit all over, our 5 yr old left alone in the pool while he went on an alcohol run, him constantly texting the OW or better yet leaving for her house for days at a time, the fear, the fights he tried to pick, the scars.
I guess being lonely is better than living with the overwhelming fear and anxiety. So what if he is spending his holiday with the OW and her kids. He is not the same person I once knew.
I guess being lonely is better than living with the overwhelming fear and anxiety. So what if he is spending his holiday with the OW and her kids. He is not the same person I once knew.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 199
Catherine,
Making a list was a great idea, and all of the things on it are great examples of why your life is already on the way to being better. I wonder if you. Can also reclaim the holidays, or any days that feel hardest, by creating something new on them that's about your new life. With your kids or just for yourself. A new memory to build on that's positive and hopeful. He may have part of your past, but in low that saying I've heard here about him not getting to live rent-free in your present or future.
The part about the OW and her kids stings especially much, I'm sure. Like someone else said on here, she'll either wise up too or she's unhealthy in her own behaviors and relationships if she sticks with him. And either way, you are brave and healthy and beautiful and will someday find love with a man worthy of you, having irked on your own self-care and recovery. (I say that as someone on the very start of that path myself.)
Hugs to you. Do something lovely for and with yourself today.
Making a list was a great idea, and all of the things on it are great examples of why your life is already on the way to being better. I wonder if you. Can also reclaim the holidays, or any days that feel hardest, by creating something new on them that's about your new life. With your kids or just for yourself. A new memory to build on that's positive and hopeful. He may have part of your past, but in low that saying I've heard here about him not getting to live rent-free in your present or future.
The part about the OW and her kids stings especially much, I'm sure. Like someone else said on here, she'll either wise up too or she's unhealthy in her own behaviors and relationships if she sticks with him. And either way, you are brave and healthy and beautiful and will someday find love with a man worthy of you, having irked on your own self-care and recovery. (I say that as someone on the very start of that path myself.)
Hugs to you. Do something lovely for and with yourself today.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Rochester, ny
Posts: 405
I've had many a holiday like yours went. I think it's comforting to know you're not alone that way.
Great idea with the list. I find reading here helps reinforce the truth about the bad stuff, too. My own denial, fear of the future and living in fantasy land keeps me stuck in the past--and in pain.... SO, I say YAY to you for writing that list to help yourself!
Great idea with the list. I find reading here helps reinforce the truth about the bad stuff, too. My own denial, fear of the future and living in fantasy land keeps me stuck in the past--and in pain.... SO, I say YAY to you for writing that list to help yourself!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Rochester, ny
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by fedupbeyondall 
Hugs to you. And yes, spending the holidays alone is way better than spending them with an active alcoholic. Trust me!
Like your List--> another healthy behavior!
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