SKat

Hello,
I'm new. I have only recently started reading info about adult children of alcoholics. After finding the first article, I was totally amazed, it was such an eye opener. I grew up with an emotionally abusive alcoholic father and had a terrible relationship with him. I thought I had things under control when I moved out of the house and never talked to my father again (that was about 20 years). Well I was so wrong. I am just now realizing how my father's alcoholism is still affecting my life.

So here's my question - is it a good idea to do the 12 steps without ever attending an ACA meeting? I do have one near me, but I just don't feel quite ready to attend yet. I'm hoping the steps will help me get started.

Thx for any advice!

DavidG

My ESH... getting to this point, I think you are joining a group of survivors. I believe you will find a way through- and do the things that suit your needs.

I suppose it is possible to do the steps outside of the meeting. Mostly we start with steps one, two and three. In my experience this is something to do inside of a group. Since you are now a member of an online group you could try it here...

I am a longtimer- mostly in the mother programme... I am happy to look out for your postings- they are a great crew here and I am sure others will too.

DavidG.

youbetcha

When I first started in recovery, my first 12 step meeting was an A.C.A. meeting a friend who happened to be a councilor urged me to try. I was getting ready to be a Dad, running a business and trying to quit drinking on my own (which my friend didn't know) all at once. I was going crazy inside, trying to control everything and my world was falling apart. For the first time in my life, when they read "the problem" in the beginning of the meeting, things started to make sense to me, I wasn't crazy, there were other people like me, there was a name for this "thing," and there was help. I attended that meeting each week and looked forward to it, and I started to trust people a little bit. Along side that meeting I went to the other 12 step program for alcohol, got a sponsor who was in both programs and many recovery doors and a new life opened up to me. That A.C.A. meeting started it all for me. If there's a meeting nearby I would go to it if you can, Alanon is also a good place to work on "adult child" issues if you can't find a strong A.C.A meeting, thanks for the post.

SKat

Thanks for your responses. I know I just need to get over the fear of going to that first meeting. I'm an introvert and it takes me a long time to open up to people (and my trust issues don't help).

tromboneliness

If it helps any, you're well within your rights to just show up and not say anything -- that's what Andy Garcia did for several months in Al-Anon, in "When A Man Loves a Woman," with Meg Ryan (which I watched a few nights before we did the intervention to get my wife into treatment). Or just say, "Hi, I'm Joe, and I'll pass." Not a problem at any meeting I've been to!

T