3 Days!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
3 Days!!
I am so proud of myself and I realized yesterday that it was ME I was doing this for. I caught my husband in a lie yesterday and was so angry and my first thought was, I'll show him, I'm getting drunk tonight. Then I realized, that I needed to get sober for me, no matter what he did. It was a very pivotal moment and I felt that I overcame the AD in my head.
I also was so ready to go to an AA meeting last night but I'm still not sure if I want to do that. I am a true believer in willpower and do not want to render myself powerless to a higher spirit. Any thoughts on that?
I also was so ready to go to an AA meeting last night but I'm still not sure if I want to do that. I am a true believer in willpower and do not want to render myself powerless to a higher spirit. Any thoughts on that?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 559
that's fantastic!
i have got to 18 days with a combination of valium for the first few days of withdrawals, then sheer determination. i will, however, be starting a treatment program soon. it's based on SMART recovery, and will be 3 full days a week for 8 weeks.
this is in the UK, so your mileage may vary...
best of luck.
i have got to 18 days with a combination of valium for the first few days of withdrawals, then sheer determination. i will, however, be starting a treatment program soon. it's based on SMART recovery, and will be 3 full days a week for 8 weeks.
this is in the UK, so your mileage may vary...
best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Hi. I'm one who didn't know what AA was about and feared going. Basically it's composed of people, like here, who understand us and are there to help each other, a flesh meeting. After 30+ years there are things I don't like but accept the fact it got me and keeps me sober even with my ego protruding. By the way I've never been a church goer or a religious person although I believe in a Higher Power which works for me and others. The important thing for me is that I/we need a maintenance program to be and stay sober so continue to go to meetings. BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
Hey, congratulations, Secretary! That's fantastic!
I read a lot of SMART materials - very good stuff. Alas, there are no meetings in my area so I never really dove in to that program. Here's their website: Introduction to SMART RecoveryŽ
Congrats again!
I read a lot of SMART materials - very good stuff. Alas, there are no meetings in my area so I never really dove in to that program. Here's their website: Introduction to SMART RecoveryŽ
Congrats again!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by secretary 
I also was so ready to go to an AA meeting last night but I'm still not sure if I want to do that. I am a true believer in willpower and do not want to render myself powerless to a higher spirit. Any thoughts on that?
How would you be powerless to a higher power? The belief in one? I am confused here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Another thought. "I am a true believer in willpower and do not want to render myself powerless to a higher spirit. Any thoughts on that?" As seen will power seems to dissipate with many of us from reading many posts by people trying to stop drinking. Also most are here BECAUSE OF powerless to that higher spirit, alcohol! BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 559
Originally Posted by secretary
Are those meetings you attend?
i am really looking forward to it. it's a big commitment but it's what i need.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I too didn't like the theory that AA requires that you admit that you are powerless over alcohol. However, the first time I tried to quit that's where I went. It didn't work for me because I wasn't truly ready. I thought that as long as I went and sat in meeting that was the sum total of my responsibility and the program would magically work for me.
The 2nd and 3rd times I tried quitting there was a new program available called SMART. At least new to my area. Loved the basis! I am NOT powerless over alcohol, everything I do is my own decision, I just need to use the ABCs and that will solve my problem! However, something was said at the meeting that, where rational, can be interpreted in any manner that you see fit and boy did I run with that. I can't quote and I'm sure my AV changed what was said to suit my needs. It was along the premise that you are at SMART because you want a better quality of life. You are provided tools that will help you make decisions to achieve that goal (the ABC's). However, if you are going to be a dry drunk who actually decreases the quality of your life by abstaining and sitting around all day depressed and being a bump on a log then perhaps abstaining is not the way to do it. Anyone who knows SMART knows that what I just stated was not what was truly verbalized but boy did I take that and run with it! In fact, I tried to use the ABCs as a tool for moderation. With each beer I opened I would ask myself if I really believe that I needed it and I would run through the ABCs. Did that work for a while? Sure, then I just went back to the same way of drinking that I always had.
The 4th (and this most recent time) there is a difference. I called a friend who is 8 years sober and talked to her. I went to a Big Book meeting with her. I actually opened and read the book! I am not a religious person and have not yet found what or who my higher power is but I'm still looking. Maybe for right now it's this place. Someday I'll find it. This time AA is working for me because. and only because, I am working it.
You have to find the path and what works for you. Maybe SMART is your answer. Just like people who diet have tried low carb programs, low fat programs, weight watchers, etc there are multiple avenues that you can take to achieve the results that you're looking for.
However, no matter what program you choose your success is in the fate of one person, yourself. You have to want it. There is no magic pill (if only!). My signature line is for everyone else but it's a consistent reminder for me as well.
What helped me is to consistently remember that my sobriety belongs to ME. It is mine, and mine alone. I am on a mission to ensure that no one or no thought can take that away from me.
That's what I find empowering.
I hope you find the right path for you! Keep coming back, YOU CAN DO THIS!
The 2nd and 3rd times I tried quitting there was a new program available called SMART. At least new to my area. Loved the basis! I am NOT powerless over alcohol, everything I do is my own decision, I just need to use the ABCs and that will solve my problem! However, something was said at the meeting that, where rational, can be interpreted in any manner that you see fit and boy did I run with that. I can't quote and I'm sure my AV changed what was said to suit my needs. It was along the premise that you are at SMART because you want a better quality of life. You are provided tools that will help you make decisions to achieve that goal (the ABC's). However, if you are going to be a dry drunk who actually decreases the quality of your life by abstaining and sitting around all day depressed and being a bump on a log then perhaps abstaining is not the way to do it. Anyone who knows SMART knows that what I just stated was not what was truly verbalized but boy did I take that and run with it! In fact, I tried to use the ABCs as a tool for moderation. With each beer I opened I would ask myself if I really believe that I needed it and I would run through the ABCs. Did that work for a while? Sure, then I just went back to the same way of drinking that I always had.
The 4th (and this most recent time) there is a difference. I called a friend who is 8 years sober and talked to her. I went to a Big Book meeting with her. I actually opened and read the book! I am not a religious person and have not yet found what or who my higher power is but I'm still looking. Maybe for right now it's this place. Someday I'll find it. This time AA is working for me because. and only because, I am working it.
You have to find the path and what works for you. Maybe SMART is your answer. Just like people who diet have tried low carb programs, low fat programs, weight watchers, etc there are multiple avenues that you can take to achieve the results that you're looking for.
However, no matter what program you choose your success is in the fate of one person, yourself. You have to want it. There is no magic pill (if only!). My signature line is for everyone else but it's a consistent reminder for me as well.
What helped me is to consistently remember that my sobriety belongs to ME. It is mine, and mine alone. I am on a mission to ensure that no one or no thought can take that away from me.
That's what I find empowering.
I hope you find the right path for you! Keep coming back, YOU CAN DO THIS!
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
Hey there, great going on 3 days, and it sounds like you had one of those 'A-Ha!' moments of realization. I was prone to doing very similar things.
Recovery can take many paths. I have a friend I visit from time to time I met on a site based on interests totally unrelated to drinking, and he's been sober 20 years now; it was just by coincidence we got to talking about it. He said the key thing was the decision to take a different path in life, and that drinking wasn't leading him where he wanted to go. He did AA meetings for a few years on and off at the beginning, though never had a sponsor or did step-work; he went for the company, and just to talk in a supportive atmosphere. Now he makes a living in a creative/artistic field, and has been a real role model in what a person can do.
The main this is to be sober because you want to be sober, I think, even if at times, you might be tempted otherwise. And for that, you have all kinds of things to help: Your own inner strength. the help of various groups, online places like this. I find it helpful to take what you find helpful from as variety of approaches, and keep building on what gives you positive incentives.
Recovery can take many paths. I have a friend I visit from time to time I met on a site based on interests totally unrelated to drinking, and he's been sober 20 years now; it was just by coincidence we got to talking about it. He said the key thing was the decision to take a different path in life, and that drinking wasn't leading him where he wanted to go. He did AA meetings for a few years on and off at the beginning, though never had a sponsor or did step-work; he went for the company, and just to talk in a supportive atmosphere. Now he makes a living in a creative/artistic field, and has been a real role model in what a person can do.
The main this is to be sober because you want to be sober, I think, even if at times, you might be tempted otherwise. And for that, you have all kinds of things to help: Your own inner strength. the help of various groups, online places like this. I find it helpful to take what you find helpful from as variety of approaches, and keep building on what gives you positive incentives.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
And now this is my 5th day sober! I do believe in willpower, I think I am the only one that can stop me from drinking. As a lapsed and angry catholic, I am not sure I ever want to render myself powerless to a higher power. I think if I do go to a meeting (and I have been looking up the times) it would be for the company of sober people. I am realizing that everyone I know drinks (surprise!)
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