Getting stronger....bit by bit...thank-you!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: East coast
Posts: 25
Getting stronger....bit by bit...thank-you!
Tonight I found some courage. My 28 yr old son asked to come for dinner. We knew he'd been using something, for a few weeks, and it was becoming more and more obvious. Too social, then nodding off. He tried to live with us after a really crazy period, but we insisted on sobriety, and backed it up with drug testing and he moved out. He's not at the level he was before, but sadly it just increases until there's a crisis.
So he shows up for dinner, and when I come home my husband mentions to me that its not good. I observed it for myself and I asked my son to leave. I told him I loved him but I didn't want to be with him like that. He tried the usual denial but I didn't care. I suggested a drug test if he was going to go there, but suggested that was pointless, why bother with the lies. I always want to know what he's using, but didn't ask.... First he cursed at me, and I insisted that he be respectful! He gathered his things and I invited him for dinner on the 4th if he wanted to come sober.
He left, with his computer, and dry cleaning , off to the subway in the rain.....
He has a good job, but has totaled 2 cars, and doesn't drive anymore. He has court for the last accident coming up. I hope the court orders rehab, but I'm not counting on it. This is the last time I pay to get him a lawyer.
So thank- you all for helping me get to this place!
I am sad for him, scared for him, but as someone posted here, God will take care of him. I can't. I'm here for him when he's ready.
Just wish I could put it out of my mind...he's always in my thoughts.
Love to all.
So he shows up for dinner, and when I come home my husband mentions to me that its not good. I observed it for myself and I asked my son to leave. I told him I loved him but I didn't want to be with him like that. He tried the usual denial but I didn't care. I suggested a drug test if he was going to go there, but suggested that was pointless, why bother with the lies. I always want to know what he's using, but didn't ask.... First he cursed at me, and I insisted that he be respectful! He gathered his things and I invited him for dinner on the 4th if he wanted to come sober.
He left, with his computer, and dry cleaning , off to the subway in the rain.....
He has a good job, but has totaled 2 cars, and doesn't drive anymore. He has court for the last accident coming up. I hope the court orders rehab, but I'm not counting on it. This is the last time I pay to get him a lawyer.
So thank- you all for helping me get to this place!
I am sad for him, scared for him, but as someone posted here, God will take care of him. I can't. I'm here for him when he's ready.
Just wish I could put it out of my mind...he's always in my thoughts.
Love to all.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I know your pain, this could be a scene from my life when my son was in my life. (sadly he has been lost in his addiction for many years...but knows where help is when he is ready).
Having a front row seat to a loved one's addiction, is the worst seat in the house. We can't fix what is theirs to fix. We can't save those who aren't ready to save themselves. But we can give their care to God and live in faith that He can do for them what we cannot. And then we can live our lives well, as life was intended to be lived.
Keeping you and your boy in my prayers. Being the mom of an addict is not for sissies.
Hugs
Having a front row seat to a loved one's addiction, is the worst seat in the house. We can't fix what is theirs to fix. We can't save those who aren't ready to save themselves. But we can give their care to God and live in faith that He can do for them what we cannot. And then we can live our lives well, as life was intended to be lived.
Keeping you and your boy in my prayers. Being the mom of an addict is not for sissies.
Hugs
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