Payne

Again I find myself at a plateau and my feelings of "having to" get better are rearing their ugly head. My financial life is a mess due to a health issue, there's a health issue, I'm going through a beautiful and terrifying time in my friendships as we all reach so Manu changes in out lives which has shaken my support system. And the real kick in the teeth is watching my brother move his gorgeous wonderful open hearted children into my SMs house for the time being. So today I picked up the aca book again. Yup turn on the water works. Before starting I sat down and discussed with myself how far I have come.how much has changed and applauded myself for that. With the tension in my support relationships I did not react before processing my emotions. Thus I'm not apologizing and hating myself. I did stand up for myself in a calm and responsible manner when I was treated incorrectly which lead to an open discussion. Those are gigantic steps for me. However my inner turmoil is wrestling with something so its as good of a time as any to write and read on Herr mote and to dive into the book. Wish me luck.

Kialua

(what does "SMs" mean?)

Payne

Am's, alcoholic mother. My phone is evil and I'm too broke for internet.

Kialua

ok, LOL it is hard to out type spellcheck sometimes. Well I hope they won't stay too long at the mom's.

Mracoa

Good luck! Growth takes place a day at a time. There is always room to improve and we all get to where we need when we need it. Take your time, and take care of yourself along the way.

irisgardens

Thank you for writing Payne. Your ESH is helping me so much. I have a hard time believing that my experiences were as evil as I am beginning to know they were. I just kept trying harder (like the old Hertz rent-a-car commercials). It is helping me to realize that I didn't imagine it, that the people in my family who told me to be the bigger person...and then turned their backs on me...weren't being helpful...and that when I told the truth, the silent treatment was real, and awful and damaging. I am going to buy the ACOA book...need more than I have had in the past. I have done a lot of work in addiction support (for three kids) but the ACOA is really a fundamental issue for me. Thank you again. Gentle huggs.