AnonK

Forgive me for rambling more. I feel like I haven't been very productive around here. I've kinda been in a funk; but I'm slowly but surely coming out of it.

I feel like my mind is playing games on me.

Lately, I've been feeling... I don't know how to describe it. It's like, I think about picking up where I left off in Al-Anon -- but my mind doesn't feel that way. I ask myself "Why should I?". I don't even have a active/recovering/dry drunk in my life. Right now, I have almost no one in my life (drunk or sober). So why should I work steps I don't need?

I know, I know. It's not a good mentality to have. And it's not even how I truly feel.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I keep thinking about my exes. I'm trying to let go, I really am. I think I'm almost there with my first ex (who I can't stand). I'm just getting to the point where I don't care at all about him. I'm trying to let go with the second one, but it's not as easy. I've debated deleting him from my Facebook friend list, but... you know how that goes. Even though we're not talking and he probably couldn't care less about me, I like to check and see how he's doing. I saw a new picture of him, and he doesn't look so good to me. Ironically, I could have sworn that I passed him on my way home from work today. I'm not completely sure.

There isn't really a question in this. I just need to clear my head again.

laurie6781

Clear away!!!!

I know for me, fairly early in my joining Alanon I realized that it had nothing to do with my then husband, but everything to with ME.

Alanon was my way of really working on me, to change me from the inside out, so that as I got healthier within my own self I would attract healthier people to me, and I don't mean just people of the opposite sex.

Alanon is what opened my eyes to the fact that I could be all I wished to be and that I could do all that I want to do in my life.

Alanon is for YOU, not any A's that were in your life.

So .......................... vent away e ae here for you!!!

Love and hugs,

Seren

I suppose I could be said that I don't have an active addict/alcoholic in my daily life at the moment, either. Being around active alcoholism and addiction sure did bring out certain parts of my own personality that I realized needed work--with or without the drinker in my life.

I don't currently use Al-Anon, but did find it very helpful. I think if you find it helpful, then you should go!!

LexieCat

Totally up to you, but I think I would have benefitted from sticking with Al-Anon longer than I did. You can walk away at any time if you feel it is not helping.

wicked

I do have addicts currently in my life, but I am starting to feel the need to go back to basics.
Back to AA.
I have been to a few AlAnon meetings and some over the phone, and I always identify as an alcoholic first.
Not ACoA or Alanoid (love that name DesertEyes) but alcoholic.
Sigh.....AnonK, I get you.
I just wanna be normal for a while. And not so I can drink, but just a regular person.
Drop all these labels of "sickness" and be recovered.

More introspection than I need this early in the morning for sure.
The neighbors dog heard my alarm, and even though
"We NEVER leave our little precious alone!"
there was six hours last night, and an hour since I woke up this AM.
Luckily for me, I have another appointment down in Detroit today.
Not so lucky for the dog.
Damn. I hate it. (not the dog, just him being alone all day).
I identify.

Beth