aw58

Hi I'm new to forums so please forgive me if I get it wrong. I have tried for the last few years to give up drinking. Two years ago I managed to stop for 8 months and lost 32 pounds in weigh I felt great, then I stupidly thought I could control it, I started drinking again but it crept up to more and more along with my weight, then last year I did it again for 6 months, this time I was miserable ruined my Husbands holiday as didn't want to go near pubs, then I caved in and started again, slowly, convinced I could control it but I cant and I'm now back to drinking most nights. Two weeks ago I wasted 3 days of my life due to feeling so ill the following day, it doesn't take much for me to feel ill these days, my main concern is my heart rate it goes so fast the next day its scary. The pounds have piled back on and I feel very bloated. I haven't had a drink since Thursday 27th June. So this will be my
3rd day AF . I feel better already but that's when It gets me I feel ok so I reach for Alcohol it so doesn't make sense. My Hubby loves real ale and has a couple most nights at home and the occasional binge, this is one of my problems , he loves real ale and In the past I have found it so difficult and boring sitting in a pub drinking orange, I feel I'm to weak to go any where near a pub I know I would have a drink and its never just a couple with me I have to have at least 4 pints and then want to continue when I go home . I ruined our holiday last year as I was moody, I was screaming inside I WANT A DRINK but didn't have one but I was miserable. I started drinking again when I got home. My Hubby is understanding but our/his life revolves around drinking real ale and socialising, how do I get over this , I want to just refuse to go out but then that seems unfair on him , please advise

Nuudawn

First off, welcome and congrats on giving it one more go...life that is. Well, you probably found it boring to sit in a pub without "artificial stimulation" cuz well, sitting in a pub IS boring unless you're sitting with Robin Williams or something.
I'm hoping you have other reasons that you want a sober life than for health/weight reasons.
Ah, that's the rub maybe..you don't want to be sober? I think it's way, way, way easier when we actually want to give life a go...sober. Are you able to envision that?

mecanix

Welcome to SR aw58 ,

Congratulations on day 3

Giving up drinking was one thing , learning how to live sober without that voice inside screaming "i want a drink" is something i had to work on . it has been possible though and i havent heard it for a long time .

I know i couldn't have gone to a pub or bar in the early days of giving up , even have been in the company of drinkers might have been too much for my weak grasp on sobriety .
Support from our nearest and dearest has been necesary for me , they still drank .. but were aware of and supportive by making changes . Like understanding i couldn't go down the pub with them anymore if i did'nt feel secure in my sobriety .

Nice to have you here ,

Bestwishes m

aw58

Ah, that's the rub maybe..you don't want to be sober? I think it's way, way, way easier when we actually want to give life a go...sober. Are you able to envision that?

very good point , I know life will be better sober it was very enjoyable the first time I did it for 8 months, thanks for reminding me ...

Nuudawn

That's awesome then! You were probably feeling fantastic and things were lovely..and like so many of us...thought you could have just one..or moderate or some other malarky : ) ..and ya lost your game. Lost many myself.

Welcome. Hope to hear more and more of your journey!

instant

Glad you found SR. I have a history of being sober for six months, and short stints then returning to drinking. I guess it led me to understand the pattern, and that feeling good is a real risk. I am now over two years, with being on SR, reading the Big Book and some of Rational Recovery (AVRT). It can be done.

I have no advice re how to be around your partner. I can now go to pubs and places with people drinking but in the first six months it was very difficult to be around alcohol. It gets easier, and now it is just like being a non smoker, or someone who avoids sugar or gluten.

My lifestyle has changed greatly i now do more with my free time. I ride a bicycle and have started playing in a band.