UncleMeat69

Do you finish all your amends before you start working
the 10th. Step.

Veritas1

No

UncleMeat69

When do you start working Step 10 ?

paul99

I started working step 10 when I started on amends. I was doing step 11 at about the same time too, even though I had tried meditation in spots early on in recovery.

Great question!

UncleMeat69

Me too. I was told I could not do all 5 parts of
Step 10 until I did 1 thru 8 because I would
not be able to understand the process it
took to get there........

mick3580

What's baffling is that I was told to write anything down for this step. This stop does not involve writing. I don't understand how people can justify writing on this step.

UncleMeat69

Could it be because they don't do it often enough to remember ?

ProgressNotPerfection

Oddly enough, I started working my 10th step when I finished my 7th step -- I did 5, 6 and 7 at a weekend retreat.... I figured I would do the 10th so as to not let things pile up. Now I do it on the spot as soon as the noise starts in my head.....

Gottalife

I started with a limited version of step 10 very early in recovery. The statement " we cleaned up any new messes as we went along" seemed to get through to my befuddled mind, when not much else did.

I had a lot of trouble with unconscious self centred alcoholic behaviour. Not only did it put me on the wrong side of people, but it lead me into great clouds of doom, and I had no idea how I got there.

When I worked through each cloud with my sponsor, it became clear what was happening, and I got in the habit of spot inventory and admitting promptly when I was wrong. This was all post stopping drinking and in hindsight played a big part in keeping me sober long enough to tackle the steps in order.

If I had not learned to resolve these new mistakes quickly, I am pretty sure they would have lead me back to drink before I could come to grips with the full program.

WMJ1012

Nope. BB says clearly we work step 10 as we clean up the past (9).

I just started this morning turning around a long 10th step. I wrote for two hours and will do two more tonight. At the suggestion of the man who's helping me I am to start praying right away for wellness so I can get back to work and get my financial amends done. There are two others that don't have $ tied to them that can be done pretty soon. I'll know when those can be scheduled.

Friend Of Bill

Well if we simply look at page 84 85 it tells us we continue to take inventory we continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along we vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past we do steps 10 11 and 12 on a daily basis as we clean up our past making amends 1011 and 12 are our maintenance steps but we cannot do step 10 and continue to take personal inventory if we never took inventory in step 4 the fourth column in step 4 says we look at our part where were we selfish dishonest self-seeking and afraid if we didn't do that part if we did step for some other way then an alcoholic cannot possibly do 567 9 10 11 the fourth column up and including the sex inventory R our defects of character shortcomings defects of character that we admit in step 5 and asked to be removed in 6 and 7 by doing step 4 out of the book Alcoholics Anonymous we have the understanding and the awareness to what extent we harm to others.... Pages 86 through 88 help us when we go to bed tonight and read the first paragraph on page 86 we constructively review our day that helps us go to bed with a clear conscience wake up in the morning free from resentment harboring no ill feelings and the day before correct any mistakes that we had made and we practice step 10 all day long we pause when adgitated or doubtful we continue to watch your selfishness dishonesty resentment and fear when these crop up anything just because we asked for are defects of character to be removed doesn't mean they're not going to come back so step 10 gives us tools.... What most people don't realize is this is where we are rocketed into the fourth dimension this is where we do steps 2 & 3 because at the beginning it says willing to believe that we would come to believe after taking other simple steps it says made a decision to turn on well in life over when the time comes after we face and be rid of what's blocking us in step 10 last paragraph the 10th step promises sanity is returned the problem is removed we now came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore to sanity we now have just make conscious contact with God it says if we have carefully follow directions up to this point we begin to sense the flow of his spirit into us this is where we turn our will in life over we align our will with what we believe God's will is for us today and be that way the second paragraph on 85 are the 10th step warning every chapter every step has promises warnings prayers and directions

LiveInPeace

This has always confused me. Aren't Steps 4-9 about cleaning up the past, and not just 9? But then again, we wouldn't understand the harms/amends part in Step 10 until we do Step 9.

stevieg46

Live in Peace we write out our searching and fearless moral inventory in step 4 , we share it all in 5th step , that is where we get our list of amends for step 8 where we become ''willing '' to make amends , in 9th step we make ''direct '' amends '' except when we do so would injure ''them '' or others '' there is no need to go back to steps 4 and 5 unless we remember ''something ''else '' then we share it with God and another human being , Step 10 has nothing to do with previous steps ,it is a ''daily '' step when we can admit promptly if wrong , or remember later if looking back on our day then make amends asap , take care my friend .

Regards .

Stevie .

LiveInPeace

Thanks for the clear explanation, Stevie.

LiveInPeace

I'm always curious how other people work their steps. Why did you write for 2 hours? I was taught to do Step 10 similar to Step 4.

january161992

my 9th step amends took 18 years to complete

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ear-amend.html

pscirish

Hello LiveinPeace,

Steps 9 and 10 are separate steps but can be confusing because Step 10 contains the actions of Steps 4-9. I think it’ll make sense if we do a quick review of steps 4-9:

Step 4 – a personal inventory to see the flaws in my character that caused my failure (self and it’s common manifestations – so, I’m looking squarely at me, my thinking, and my actions and the truth in how I react to life). My failures in my approach to life leave me spiritually sick and therefore, are the root of my problems.
Step 5 – admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature (truth) of our defect. Humility is on the plate here.
Step 6 – a review of my shortcomings (are they objectionable?) and readiness for change. AM I REALLY READY TO BE HEALED?
Step 7- A prayer to God – whatever my conception is – to remove my defects and give me the power I lack to do His Will. My first step in turning away from myself.
Step 8 – a list of people I have harmed from living a self-centered/selfish life. Whom have I harmed?

Now that brings us to Step 9 (Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others) and it says:

“We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves”

So, what the book is saying, is in Step 9 we cleaned up the past harms we have committed. That’s it. We have a list of names from our inventories and we review them for harms and we also just go back through our life and look for harms that didn’t show up in our Step 4 inventories. But making amends takes time – many times years – and to just stop all other actions would be detrimental. So, as we are making our amends, we continue on with steps 10-12.

Now, Step 10 is a completely separate step and essentially contains all the components of Steps 4-9 and is meant to be done real time – so in the now. You continue to watch for shortcomings (step 4), when you realize you are in one them, you turn to God immediately (Step 6/7), you tell someone at once (Step 5), and you make amends immediately if you have harmed anyone (Steps 8/9). And for good measure, you then turn your attention to someone you can help (Step 12).

So, as you can see, they are separate steps that, when taken in succession, result in a powerful experience for the person going through them. I needed something radical to happen, and that is exactly what happened for me. And many others I know.

Hope this helps!

Patrick

Tommyh

my sponsor calls step 10 the "walking around step" during the day

it keeps those blocks between God and me removed when I stay on top of it

Gottalife

Step 10 is continuous. Using driving as an analogy to life, it is a good idea while driving to continue to watch where you are going.

In step ten we continue to watch for dishonesty, selfishness, fear and resentment. When they crop up we take immediate action, for which we are given clear directions. It is very much an in the moment thing, not to be deferred till next week, next month, or an annual house cleaning.

The reason, as far as I can tell, is it is far less painful to deal with an injury as soon as it occurs, than it is to wait and let it fester and grow and infect our soul. Like removing a sticking plaster, a quick tug is less painful than slowly pulling it off.

When to work it in terms of progress through the steps? Well it seems this is the one step you are given permission to work out of order. "Vigorously we commenced this way of living AS we cleaned up the past" Not after. For my own experience this seemed logical as I realized that while I had a huge pile of garbage from the past to clean up, it would not be until I was well into the process that my mind and attitudes would be healed to the extent that I would not create a whole new pile in sobriety. My alcoholic mind did not just disappear when I stopped drinking. In fact it was my behaviour when not drinking that set me up for the fatal first drink.

I found it a total life saver to keep the decks clear by "cleaning up any new mistakes as I went along".