Are alcoholics jealous of those who can drink in moderation?
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 224
Are alcoholics jealous of those who can drink in moderation?
Six days here on my second attempt to quit. My av kicks in every now and then. I read this forum pretty often and I see some of the responses to people who probably are concerned about their drinking. I wonder if some alcoholics are jealous of those who can drink in moderation and would rather see no one else drink since we can't. If we saw the drinking that goes on in college, we'd say that all those kids are alcoholics.
I look at the tests for alcoholism and some of the questions...a lot of those questions would be answered in the affirmative by anyone who has ever gotten drunk at least once in their life. I read that blackouts are a sign of alcoholism. But, I know people who are not alcoholics that have drank to the point of blackout. I might have blacked out once in my drinking career, but I'm still probably an alcoholic.
I guess I'm just bored, but this is something that has irritated me a bit. It does seem that there is an 'if I can't do it, no one should do it mentality.'
I look at the tests for alcoholism and some of the questions...a lot of those questions would be answered in the affirmative by anyone who has ever gotten drunk at least once in their life. I read that blackouts are a sign of alcoholism. But, I know people who are not alcoholics that have drank to the point of blackout. I might have blacked out once in my drinking career, but I'm still probably an alcoholic.
I guess I'm just bored, but this is something that has irritated me a bit. It does seem that there is an 'if I can't do it, no one should do it mentality.'
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I do get envious at times, sure. I was just griping the other day about how I live in one of America's beer Meccas but always see people drinking PBR or Hamm's. If that wasn't the AV slipping out I'm a magic pony. Just one of those things I accept as part of alcoholism and deal with accordingly.
I don't think I've ever held an "if I can't no one should" thought about it though.
I don't think I've ever held an "if I can't no one should" thought about it though.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by Crossfitdad 
Six days here on my second attempt to quit. My av kicks in every now and then. I read this forum pretty often and I see some of the responses to people who probably are concerned about their drinking. I wonder if some alcoholics are jealous of those who can drink in moderation and would rather see no one else drink since we can't. If we saw the drinking that goes on in college, we'd say that all those kids are alcoholics.
I look at the tests for alcoholism and some of the questions...a lot of those questions would be answered in the affirmative by anyone who has ever gotten drunk at least once in their life. I read that blackouts are a sign of alcoholism. But, I know people who are not alcoholics that have drank to the point of blackout. I might have blacked out once in my drinking career, but I'm still probably an alcoholic.
I guess I'm just bored, but this is something that has irritated me a bit. It does seem that there is an 'if I can't do it, no one should do it mentality.'
I look at the tests for alcoholism and some of the questions...a lot of those questions would be answered in the affirmative by anyone who has ever gotten drunk at least once in their life. I read that blackouts are a sign of alcoholism. But, I know people who are not alcoholics that have drank to the point of blackout. I might have blacked out once in my drinking career, but I'm still probably an alcoholic.
I guess I'm just bored, but this is something that has irritated me a bit. It does seem that there is an 'if I can't do it, no one should do it mentality.'
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Normies don't feel the same euphoria. That is why they can take it or leave it. There isn't that "click" in the brain for them. It doesn't develop into an addiction because their neurotransmitters aren't deficient.
No, I'm not jealous of them being able to drink a few and stop. My drinking was entirely another animal altogether. It was euphoric and eventually, devastating. It ran the entire gamut.
Normal drinkers pretty much experience a tip of that whole iceberg. From what I understand, anyway.
The alcoholic obsession with "just one" doesn't happen for them.
No, I'm not jealous of them being able to drink a few and stop. My drinking was entirely another animal altogether. It was euphoric and eventually, devastating. It ran the entire gamut.
Normal drinkers pretty much experience a tip of that whole iceberg. From what I understand, anyway.
The alcoholic obsession with "just one" doesn't happen for them.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
I don't ever think about drinking in moderation. That's not me. It would feel like wishing I was short when in fact I'm tall. I like me just fine the way I was made. Alcohol just doesn't work for me. I don't drink it. I'll live. 
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: alberta
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Crossfitdad
I like that 360. Thanks for the post.
I have suffered tremendously from Alcohol
I've been sober 24 year I was having seizures
Arrested for severe crimes . Now I still have my family beautiful grandchildren and a successful career.
I live a life I count even dream of 24 years ago.
But it isn't just the stopping of drinking .
It the beauty of practising a spiritual program.
In the 12 step it says having had a spiritual awakening . To awaken means to become aware .
I am now aware of things that go are going on around me but it also means the lessening of my wants in the world and trying to encourage others . So no I don't envy someone that can drink because maybe he can't play guitar like me .
I just recognize the differences
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Oh yeah, I was jealous in the beginning. Still am sometimes. I would sit and watch people drink "normally" and wonder what their secret was. How come they could just walk away from (Dear Lord!!) at least half a glass of wine on the table and not finish it? How could they make a beer last an entire hour? How come they got to be so nonchalant about happy hour and the Christmas party and the work trip? Weren't they freaking out a little inside about drinking too much and making a fool out of themselves?
Umm, the answer is no, they weren't. For exactly the reasons Jennie articulated above.
So, yeah, I was jealous and sometimes still a little...nostalgic? Probably the wrong word because I was never normal. And I never will be. I know that now and once accepted, it's easier to move on.
Good post, though, thanks!
Umm, the answer is no, they weren't. For exactly the reasons Jennie articulated above.
So, yeah, I was jealous and sometimes still a little...nostalgic? Probably the wrong word because I was never normal. And I never will be. I know that now and once accepted, it's easier to move on.
Good post, though, thanks!
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
I don't ever feel the "if I can't have it no one can" thing. I do get jealous sometimes when people are genuinely having fun drinking. I had plenty of those times myself way back when and seeing them laughing brings back happy nostalgic memories for me.
These moments are fleeting though, because a big part of my success in staying sober has been following these thoughts all the way through to the end. For me, it would be fun early on in the night and negative consequences later. Probably if we saw these same people about 6 hours later we might not feel that jealous lol
I also get a little jealous if I see someone that has a beautiful house, but I don't dwell on it. The drinking thing is kind of like that-a passing thought...wishful thinking but nothing to lose sleep over... Maybe someday I'll have a great house, but I know I'm not wishing to be a drinker again.
These moments are fleeting though, because a big part of my success in staying sober has been following these thoughts all the way through to the end. For me, it would be fun early on in the night and negative consequences later. Probably if we saw these same people about 6 hours later we might not feel that jealous lol
I also get a little jealous if I see someone that has a beautiful house, but I don't dwell on it. The drinking thing is kind of like that-a passing thought...wishful thinking but nothing to lose sleep over... Maybe someday I'll have a great house, but I know I'm not wishing to be a drinker again.
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
No, I accept that I can't drink. Jealousy builds resentment and what's the point of that. I'm about as jealous of people drinking as I am of people sticking a needle in their arm. It's something I can't ever do.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
I was when I first quit drinking. I didn't want to be around anyone who drank. Yup it bugged me. Now it is a lot easier. I can go to restaurants and I'm okay. However, you won't see me going to parties or to the bars. Just not sure how I would do there.
Just because I can't drink doesn't mean others can't, I'm the one with the problem. I just don't have to put myself in any situation I don't feel comfortable in.
Just because I can't drink doesn't mean others can't, I'm the one with the problem. I just don't have to put myself in any situation I don't feel comfortable in.
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