Firefighter fighting back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Haddam, Connecticut
Posts: 11
Firefighter fighting back
Hi all. This is my first post here. Boy, there's so much to say. In a nutshell, I'm a 15-year drinker and I'm on Day 12 of my recovery. Before I quit a couple weeks ago (almost), I couldn't go more than three days without drinking. I'm a private drinker, and a highly functioning alcoholic, so most of my friends don't know about my problem or my recovery. They know I drink, they just don't know I'm a drunk. I'm also a volunteer firefighter so my drinking has impaired my ability to respond (I don't go to calls after I've been drinking, which means I miss more than I should). My Fire Company only gets about 600 calls for Emergency Services a year, which sounds like a lot but it's not. This past year I've had trouble making my minimum response requirement because of my addiction. My life - and health - were really spiraling down.
Anyway, the reason I quit is a scary incident in which I became obliterated drunk as usual (sneaking shots and I think an ambien worked itself into the mix). Long story short, I was unresponsive even after my wife slapped me hard across the face, and she was minutes away from calling 911.
I won't bore you with all the details, but I'm really glad to be here - alive and having found this forum. My wife has been a great support .. she's even planning to go to Ala-Non. She was hoping I'd learn to become "a sensible drinker," but now I think she knows that's impossible. Like most alcoholics, I can't stop until I pass out.
I'm a little on the shy side so this format is perfect for me. It's funny, I devote so much of my sober time to helping other people, but I've never been able to help myself. It's also a little strange that I can stay calm and fight fires but I'm scared to death of going to AA. For the past 12 days I've pretty much holed up in my house avoiding people and social situations. I have to change that.
Well, thanks for reading... Good luck to everyone. Stay safe.
Anyway, the reason I quit is a scary incident in which I became obliterated drunk as usual (sneaking shots and I think an ambien worked itself into the mix). Long story short, I was unresponsive even after my wife slapped me hard across the face, and she was minutes away from calling 911.
I won't bore you with all the details, but I'm really glad to be here - alive and having found this forum. My wife has been a great support .. she's even planning to go to Ala-Non. She was hoping I'd learn to become "a sensible drinker," but now I think she knows that's impossible. Like most alcoholics, I can't stop until I pass out.
I'm a little on the shy side so this format is perfect for me. It's funny, I devote so much of my sober time to helping other people, but I've never been able to help myself. It's also a little strange that I can stay calm and fight fires but I'm scared to death of going to AA. For the past 12 days I've pretty much holed up in my house avoiding people and social situations. I have to change that.
Well, thanks for reading... Good luck to everyone. Stay safe.
to the family! Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 611
Welcome Jesse -
I have a little bit of the social anxiety myself so I totally understand where you are coming from. This is a great place to find support. I wish you much happiness and success on your journey of recovery.
I have a little bit of the social anxiety myself so I totally understand where you are coming from. This is a great place to find support. I wish you much happiness and success on your journey of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 146
I couldn't go 3 days without drinking either. Most of the time I'd drink somewhat responsibly, but like you I'm quiet and reserved when I'm sober, and I'd come out of my shell while drinking; while that meant fun times most of the time, it also meant some pretty wild and dangerous adventures too. Good luck to us all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Jesse75 
I won't bore you with all the details, but I'm really glad to be here - alive and having found this forum. My wife has been a great support .. she's even planning to go to Ala-Non. She was hoping I'd learn to become "a sensible drinker," but now I think she knows that's impossible. Like most alcoholics, I can't stop until I pass out.
welcome
nice to have you here
you have good support
and sound grateful
great start for a sober life
nice to have you here
you have good support
and sound grateful
great start for a sober life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Haddam, Connecticut
Posts: 11
Wow.. lots of support - thank you so much. Seriously. I'm going to bite the bullet and go to AA tomorrow. I have my doubts but you never know if you don't try, right? Take care everyone.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Welcome Jesse-thanks for what you do-it takes a special person to be a firefighter! If you can fight a fire you can certainly fight this!
Glad you'll willing to try AA and see what it's all about-it's very helpful for a lot of people. Not the route I chose, but it's nice to know it's there. I did a lot of reading here on SR and found a combo of methods that fit best for me.
The support here is incredible.
Glad your wife is supportive, that will help you a lot too.
Glad you'll willing to try AA and see what it's all about-it's very helpful for a lot of people. Not the route I chose, but it's nice to know it's there. I did a lot of reading here on SR and found a combo of methods that fit best for me.
The support here is incredible.
Glad your wife is supportive, that will help you a lot too.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Great to meet you Jesse! I'm so glad you joined the family.
The bravery of firefighters has always amazed me - it's wonderful what you do for your community. Wanting to respond when you're called upon is one of many good reasons to stop before things are totally out of control. You want a better life, and you will have it. This is a great place where we all understand what you're going through - happy to have you here.
The bravery of firefighters has always amazed me - it's wonderful what you do for your community. Wanting to respond when you're called upon is one of many good reasons to stop before things are totally out of control. You want a better life, and you will have it. This is a great place where we all understand what you're going through - happy to have you here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hi Jesse, welcome and thank you for the job you do!
I was born in CT and lived there until I was in high school...although a ways south of you in Stratford.
I think you'll find a lot of help and support here. By the end of my drinking career I was also spending most of my time holed up in my house drinking alone and to excess. What started as a little "social lubricant" to get me through somewhat uncomfortable social situations turned into my own personal poison at home. I was also highly functioning and no one knew...until the end. And then it seemed that everyone knew. Best to stop where you are now.
I was also terrified of AA. For many reasons (i.e. "this means I really am a drunk now if I am in AA," "I have nothing in common with these people," "I am not into religion," etc., etc.) I finally dragged my a** in there because I needed support and the experience/understanding of others who knew exactly what I was going through. It was a great decision. AA, along, with SR, helps me immensely. I hope you find the same but, if not, there are as many different paths to recovery as there are people here so I am sure you'll find something that works for you along with SR. Thing is to get a plan...it is so vitally important in the beginning.
Welcome again and look forward to reading about your progress. And thanks again for what you do selflessly for others as a volunteer firefighter---we need you out there!
I was born in CT and lived there until I was in high school...although a ways south of you in Stratford.
I think you'll find a lot of help and support here. By the end of my drinking career I was also spending most of my time holed up in my house drinking alone and to excess. What started as a little "social lubricant" to get me through somewhat uncomfortable social situations turned into my own personal poison at home. I was also highly functioning and no one knew...until the end. And then it seemed that everyone knew. Best to stop where you are now.
I was also terrified of AA. For many reasons (i.e. "this means I really am a drunk now if I am in AA," "I have nothing in common with these people," "I am not into religion," etc., etc.) I finally dragged my a** in there because I needed support and the experience/understanding of others who knew exactly what I was going through. It was a great decision. AA, along, with SR, helps me immensely. I hope you find the same but, if not, there are as many different paths to recovery as there are people here so I am sure you'll find something that works for you along with SR. Thing is to get a plan...it is so vitally important in the beginning.
Welcome again and look forward to reading about your progress. And thanks again for what you do selflessly for others as a volunteer firefighter---we need you out there!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Jesse:
Approach your alcoholism as you would an emergency situation.. with dedicated resolve to a proven procedure that best addresses the situation.
I committed to the program of AA and it's worked for me for nearly 24 yrs.
All the best.
Bob R
Approach your alcoholism as you would an emergency situation.. with dedicated resolve to a proven procedure that best addresses the situation.
I committed to the program of AA and it's worked for me for nearly 24 yrs.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 804
Welcome!
I know where you're coming from. My husband is a volunteer ff and we're both in involved in EMS. We also live in CT. I have found this site very helpful as well as AA. Good luck-we're here for you.
I know where you're coming from. My husband is a volunteer ff and we're both in involved in EMS. We also live in CT. I have found this site very helpful as well as AA. Good luck-we're here for you.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by Jesse75
Hi all. This is my first post here. Boy, there's so much to say. In a nutshell, I'm a 15-year drinker and I'm on Day 12 of my recovery. Before I quit a couple weeks ago (almost), I couldn't go more than three days without drinking. I'm a private drinker, and a highly functioning alcoholic, so most of my friends don't know about my problem or my recovery. They know I drink, they just don't know I'm a drunk. I'm also a volunteer firefighter so my drinking has impaired my ability to respond (I don't go to calls after I've been drinking, which means I miss more than I should). My Fire Company only gets about 600 calls for Emergency Services a year, which sounds like a lot but it's not. This past year I've had trouble making my minimum response requirement because of my addiction. My life - and health - were really spiraling down.
Anyway, the reason I quit is a scary incident in which I became obliterated drunk as usual (sneaking shots and I think an ambien worked itself into the mix). Long story short, I was unresponsive even after my wife slapped me hard across the face, and she was minutes away from calling 911.
I won't bore you with all the details, but I'm really glad to be here - alive and having found this forum. My wife has been a great support .. she's even planning to go to Ala-Non. She was hoping I'd learn to become "a sensible drinker," but now I think she knows that's impossible. Like most alcoholics, I can't stop until I pass out.
I'm a little on the shy side so this format is perfect for me. It's funny, I devote so much of my sober time to helping other people, but I've never been able to help myself. It's also a little strange that I can stay calm and fight fires but I'm scared to death of going to AA. For the past 12 days I've pretty much holed up in my house avoiding people and social situations. I have to change that.
Well, thanks for reading... Good luck to everyone. Stay safe.
Anyway, the reason I quit is a scary incident in which I became obliterated drunk as usual (sneaking shots and I think an ambien worked itself into the mix). Long story short, I was unresponsive even after my wife slapped me hard across the face, and she was minutes away from calling 911.
I won't bore you with all the details, but I'm really glad to be here - alive and having found this forum. My wife has been a great support .. she's even planning to go to Ala-Non. She was hoping I'd learn to become "a sensible drinker," but now I think she knows that's impossible. Like most alcoholics, I can't stop until I pass out.
I'm a little on the shy side so this format is perfect for me. It's funny, I devote so much of my sober time to helping other people, but I've never been able to help myself. It's also a little strange that I can stay calm and fight fires but I'm scared to death of going to AA. For the past 12 days I've pretty much holed up in my house avoiding people and social situations. I have to change that.
Well, thanks for reading... Good luck to everyone. Stay safe.
Im glad you are here, you can live so much better without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2
I just joined this this and already made my first post also. 12 days, I'll use you as my first inspiration if that's OK. . To me right know on day 2 it seems like forever.
My situation is similar to yours, I'm a secret drunk. My recent heart attach was my wake up call.
All the best in your journey.
. To me right know on day 2 it seems like forever. My situation is similar to yours, I'm a secret drunk. My recent heart attach was my wake up call.
All the best in your journey.
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