NewStrength

My boyfriend/ex-husband of 12 years has finally been clean for 7 months. I am so happy for him and thank God everyday. I would like to try and work on our relationship together with a counselor. I really want to make our relationship stronger. We have lots of bad habits from the years of living with addiction. I am at the point were I would like to get married again and start a family but want to get rid of all these bad habits first. Do you all have any suggestions for us.

OneNightAWeek

I would go with the counseling idea. Maybe do some on your own and they do some pre marriage couples counseling. My husband and I did this before we were married, and some of it at the time I hate to admit I didnt take too seriously, but now that we are having an issue with him using drugs, i have been thinking about things i learned in counseling. I am thinking about starting it up again myself, and I think my husband needs to do it also. Its great your ex has cleaned himself up. So much negative when I read on here, its nice to hear a positive for a change.

wicked

NewStrength,

May I ask what program your BF (I am using that for brevity's sake, I understand you were married a long time) used to get sober?
Is he still working on a program?
7 months of being clean is wonderful!
But, if he has been using for years, it will take much more than seven months to be
strong enough in his sobriety for children.
Having children is a beautiful wonderful blessing, but they are also extremely hard work, and very very stressful on a strained relationship.

Oh, I see you want the counseling and stuff before the marriage.
Okay, much better idea!
I was mixed up.
Still, I think a couples counselor who specializes in addictions would be a great idea.
I really truly hope you and your BF/husband make it.
It is a tough road, but for those who are willing, it can be done.

Beth