Need Some Online Support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Gloucester, MA
Posts: 8
Need Some Online Support
Hello all,
I have tried several times to quit. I have done a couple rounds at AA, a few on my own. The most I have ever made it is 3 months. I am hoping this will be my final try. I need it more than ever. I have three kids and a sweet wife counting on me.
My issue is control. I can't have just one. Something clicks in me and I want to drink all night. The problem is, that was cool in college but not now in my mid-30s. I look disgusting and sad. Also, I am starting to have some health issues because of it. I also know I will suffer from anxiety, depression and worry for as long as I continue to drink.
I have destroyed friendships and jeopardized jobs. I still go to work everyday, pay the bills and manage to function just enough to get by. But deep down I am miserable and afraid. I don't seem to have anyone to connect with about this. My brother quit for a month with me but went back to it because he "enjoys it immensely." Everyone around me either controls their drinking or has an occasional slip up and can shake it off. I cannot.
I know how much better life will be. I yearn for it. I want a circle of sober friends that get where I am coming from. I want to live life to the fullest and wake up each morning with a clear mind and good health. I am planning on heading to AA tonight and hopefully everyday for a bit. I am sure I will meet some great supportive people there. I hope to get a sponsor too.
The fact is I don't trust myself. I always trick myself. Deep down I think I feel sad and weird that others can drink and control it but I can't. So I try it again and I end up back here. I know without the support of other like-minded folks I will fall back down again.
So I am hoping to find support from people like me. Because I definitely cannot in my personal and work life as it stands today. I don't know many people that have quit permanently or successfully.
Thanks for reading.
I have tried several times to quit. I have done a couple rounds at AA, a few on my own. The most I have ever made it is 3 months. I am hoping this will be my final try. I need it more than ever. I have three kids and a sweet wife counting on me.
My issue is control. I can't have just one. Something clicks in me and I want to drink all night. The problem is, that was cool in college but not now in my mid-30s. I look disgusting and sad. Also, I am starting to have some health issues because of it. I also know I will suffer from anxiety, depression and worry for as long as I continue to drink.
I have destroyed friendships and jeopardized jobs. I still go to work everyday, pay the bills and manage to function just enough to get by. But deep down I am miserable and afraid. I don't seem to have anyone to connect with about this. My brother quit for a month with me but went back to it because he "enjoys it immensely." Everyone around me either controls their drinking or has an occasional slip up and can shake it off. I cannot.
I know how much better life will be. I yearn for it. I want a circle of sober friends that get where I am coming from. I want to live life to the fullest and wake up each morning with a clear mind and good health. I am planning on heading to AA tonight and hopefully everyday for a bit. I am sure I will meet some great supportive people there. I hope to get a sponsor too.
The fact is I don't trust myself. I always trick myself. Deep down I think I feel sad and weird that others can drink and control it but I can't. So I try it again and I end up back here. I know without the support of other like-minded folks I will fall back down again.
So I am hoping to find support from people like me. Because I definitely cannot in my personal and work life as it stands today. I don't know many people that have quit permanently or successfully.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by DanMan79 
I know how much better life will be. I yearn for it. I want a circle of sober friends that get where I am coming from. I want to live life to the fullest and wake up each morning with a clear mind and good health. I am planning on heading to AA tonight and hopefully everyday for a bit. I am sure I will meet some great supportive people there. I hope to get a sponsor too.
welcome
and
there are many here on site to support you in your efforts to get sober
feel free to ask of anyone anything
don't be afraid to send ones private messages if you wish
and
there are many here on site to support you in your efforts to get sober
feel free to ask of anyone anything
don't be afraid to send ones private messages if you wish
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by DanMan79
Hello all,
I have tried several times to quit. I have done a couple rounds at AA, a few on my own. The most I have ever made it is 3 months. I am hoping this will be my final try. I need it more than ever. I have three kids and a sweet wife counting on me.
My issue is control. I can't have just one. Something clicks in me and I want to drink all night. The problem is, that was cool in college but not now in my mid-30s. I look disgusting and sad. Also, I am starting to have some health issues because of it. I also know I will suffer from anxiety, depression and worry for as long as I continue to drink.
I have destroyed friendships and jeopardized jobs. I still go to work everyday, pay the bills and manage to function just enough to get by. But deep down I am miserable and afraid. I don't seem to have anyone to connect with about this. My brother quit for a month with me but went back to it because he "enjoys it immensely." Everyone around me either controls their drinking or has an occasional slip up and can shake it off. I cannot.
I know how much better life will be. I yearn for it. I want a circle of sober friends that get where I am coming from. I want to live life to the fullest and wake up each morning with a clear mind and good health. I am planning on heading to AA tonight and hopefully everyday for a bit. I am sure I will meet some great supportive people there. I hope to get a sponsor too.
The fact is I don't trust myself. I always trick myself. Deep down I think I feel sad and weird that others can drink and control it but I can't. So I try it again and I end up back here. I know without the support of other like-minded folks I will fall back down again.
So I am hoping to find support from people like me. Because I definitely cannot in my personal and work life as it stands today. I don't know many people that have quit permanently or successfully.
Thanks for reading.
I have tried several times to quit. I have done a couple rounds at AA, a few on my own. The most I have ever made it is 3 months. I am hoping this will be my final try. I need it more than ever. I have three kids and a sweet wife counting on me.
My issue is control. I can't have just one. Something clicks in me and I want to drink all night. The problem is, that was cool in college but not now in my mid-30s. I look disgusting and sad. Also, I am starting to have some health issues because of it. I also know I will suffer from anxiety, depression and worry for as long as I continue to drink.
I have destroyed friendships and jeopardized jobs. I still go to work everyday, pay the bills and manage to function just enough to get by. But deep down I am miserable and afraid. I don't seem to have anyone to connect with about this. My brother quit for a month with me but went back to it because he "enjoys it immensely." Everyone around me either controls their drinking or has an occasional slip up and can shake it off. I cannot.
I know how much better life will be. I yearn for it. I want a circle of sober friends that get where I am coming from. I want to live life to the fullest and wake up each morning with a clear mind and good health. I am planning on heading to AA tonight and hopefully everyday for a bit. I am sure I will meet some great supportive people there. I hope to get a sponsor too.
The fact is I don't trust myself. I always trick myself. Deep down I think I feel sad and weird that others can drink and control it but I can't. So I try it again and I end up back here. I know without the support of other like-minded folks I will fall back down again.
So I am hoping to find support from people like me. Because I definitely cannot in my personal and work life as it stands today. I don't know many people that have quit permanently or successfully.
Thanks for reading.
For me reading Rational Recovery was the game changer. Never had a means of recovery been laid out in a way that made sense to me and felt not only doable but exciting. If you are interested you can search these forums for it or for AVRT threads.
Good luck, you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
i felt the same way.
please keep going to AA.
i tried everything and that is the only thing that worked for me.
i committed to trying it for one year and then i would make up my mind about it.
Now two years sober there is no turning back for me.
please keep going to AA.
i tried everything and that is the only thing that worked for me.
i committed to trying it for one year and then i would make up my mind about it.
Now two years sober there is no turning back for me.
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Welcome to SR Danman.You sound like me,once I took that first drink,I had lost the battle.
I threw the towel in and now whatever happens in my life I will not pick up that first drink.It was hard at first but over time it got easier.
Wishing you well.
I threw the towel in and now whatever happens in my life I will not pick up that first drink.It was hard at first but over time it got easier.
Wishing you well.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Welcome!
I didn't trust myself either, not a bit. That was so hard to deal with. But, you will find that your faith in yourself will begin to be restored as you stop drinking and begin to recover.
I didn't trust myself either, not a bit. That was so hard to deal with. But, you will find that your faith in yourself will begin to be restored as you stop drinking and begin to recover.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Originally Posted by DanMan79
Hello all,
I have tried several times to quit. I have done a couple rounds at AA, a few on my own.
My issue is control. I can't have just one. Something clicks in me and I want to drink all night.
I have destroyed friendships and jeopardized jobs. I still go to work everyday, pay the bills and manage to function just enough to get by. But deep down I am miserable and afraid.
I am planning on heading to AA tonight and hopefully everyday for a bit. I am sure I will meet some great supportive people there. I hope to get a sponsor too.
The fact is I don't trust myself. I always trick myself. Deep down I think I feel sad and weird that others can drink and control it but I can't. So I try it again and I end up back here. I know without the support of other like-minded folks I will fall back down again.
So I am hoping to find support from people like me. Because I definitely cannot in my personal and work life as it stands today. I don't know many people that have quit permanently or successfully.
Thanks for reading.
I have tried several times to quit. I have done a couple rounds at AA, a few on my own.
My issue is control. I can't have just one. Something clicks in me and I want to drink all night.
I have destroyed friendships and jeopardized jobs. I still go to work everyday, pay the bills and manage to function just enough to get by. But deep down I am miserable and afraid.
I am planning on heading to AA tonight and hopefully everyday for a bit. I am sure I will meet some great supportive people there. I hope to get a sponsor too.
The fact is I don't trust myself. I always trick myself. Deep down I think I feel sad and weird that others can drink and control it but I can't. So I try it again and I end up back here. I know without the support of other like-minded folks I will fall back down again.
So I am hoping to find support from people like me. Because I definitely cannot in my personal and work life as it stands today. I don't know many people that have quit permanently or successfully.
Thanks for reading.
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