Hay, can any one give any advice what will happen next?
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1
Hay, can any one give any advice what will happen next?
Hello every one, first time poster here, just want some advice....
So basically iv been with my partner 6 years and we have a 2 year old daughter. He has always been a big drinker but in the last year it has got worse. I counted how many cans of cider he had last week and it was 57. I decided to ring his doctors and make an appointment for him. I told him last night that I had done this, and I was going to go with him and tell the doctor everything. He said if you want me to be honest I will, but it will shock you and I don't want you to get cross. So I said yes that's fine, I want you to be honest. I question him further on what he ment and he basically told me although I counted 57 cans he also had a crate of 20 can in his boot of his car that he drank. He told me he drank 2 cans every day before work at 6.00am then 2 more on his dinner break then how ever many more once he got home from work. I was always unaware of the morning or dinner time one. In the past 2 weeks he has weeded the bed 6 times, it is discusting, he has the worst memory and he will forget something I said to him 5 minutes earlier, he constantly sweets n bed, constantly complains of pain in his kidneys. It will take about 8 cans before he starts to act tipsy or his eyes start to glaze over,he never has a hangover.
Basically I'm just wondering what are the next steps, what will the doctor do or say? Will she ask questions regarding my daughters welfare?
Thanks
So basically iv been with my partner 6 years and we have a 2 year old daughter. He has always been a big drinker but in the last year it has got worse. I counted how many cans of cider he had last week and it was 57. I decided to ring his doctors and make an appointment for him. I told him last night that I had done this, and I was going to go with him and tell the doctor everything. He said if you want me to be honest I will, but it will shock you and I don't want you to get cross. So I said yes that's fine, I want you to be honest. I question him further on what he ment and he basically told me although I counted 57 cans he also had a crate of 20 can in his boot of his car that he drank. He told me he drank 2 cans every day before work at 6.00am then 2 more on his dinner break then how ever many more once he got home from work. I was always unaware of the morning or dinner time one. In the past 2 weeks he has weeded the bed 6 times, it is discusting, he has the worst memory and he will forget something I said to him 5 minutes earlier, he constantly sweets n bed, constantly complains of pain in his kidneys. It will take about 8 cans before he starts to act tipsy or his eyes start to glaze over,he never has a hangover.
Basically I'm just wondering what are the next steps, what will the doctor do or say? Will she ask questions regarding my daughters welfare?
Thanks
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm glad you are here, but sorry for the reason that brought you here. This is a wonderful resource of support. I hope you will make yourself at home by posting, venting and reading as often as needed.
Some of our stories are in the permanent posts at the top of this main page. Those posts have been preserved for future reading as they contain experience, strength and hope. I am always finding valuable information in those posts. We refer to them as the Sticky Posts.
I don't know what will happen next in your situation.
Based on my personal experience with my AXH (alcoholic ex husband), I usually didn't get the outcome I hoped for with an active alcoholic. I was often hoping to get results based on normal, sane adult behavior. Unfortunately, alcoholics are not normal, sane or responsible adults.
With the doctor appointment, I might expect to get him to be a NO SHOW for the appointment. I would get a lot of excuses why he couldn't be there and then maybe some blame for trying to control his life.
I also might expect to get him to the appointment, get him to confess his problem with alcohol, and then get him home to see that he has no intention of following the doctor's advice. It would just be another step the alcoholic takes to get the *monkey off his back* for a little while.
I learned through my experience of loving an active alcoholic, that my plans to change my alcoholic often ended with unpleasant outcomes.
I can tell you what does happen with alcoholism:
Alcoholism is progressive. It gets worse if untreated.
I know what it is like to have an adult wet the bed at night. I did not enjoy those experiences. You will find many members here that also know what that is like.
Here is a link to my favorite Sticky Post. This post contains steps that helped me while living with active alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I'm glad you are here, but sorry for the reason that brought you here. This is a wonderful resource of support. I hope you will make yourself at home by posting, venting and reading as often as needed.
Some of our stories are in the permanent posts at the top of this main page. Those posts have been preserved for future reading as they contain experience, strength and hope. I am always finding valuable information in those posts. We refer to them as the Sticky Posts.
I don't know what will happen next in your situation.
Based on my personal experience with my AXH (alcoholic ex husband), I usually didn't get the outcome I hoped for with an active alcoholic. I was often hoping to get results based on normal, sane adult behavior. Unfortunately, alcoholics are not normal, sane or responsible adults.
With the doctor appointment, I might expect to get him to be a NO SHOW for the appointment. I would get a lot of excuses why he couldn't be there and then maybe some blame for trying to control his life.
I also might expect to get him to the appointment, get him to confess his problem with alcohol, and then get him home to see that he has no intention of following the doctor's advice. It would just be another step the alcoholic takes to get the *monkey off his back* for a little while.
I learned through my experience of loving an active alcoholic, that my plans to change my alcoholic often ended with unpleasant outcomes.
I can tell you what does happen with alcoholism:
Alcoholism is progressive. It gets worse if untreated.
I know what it is like to have an adult wet the bed at night. I did not enjoy those experiences. You will find many members here that also know what that is like.
Here is a link to my favorite Sticky Post. This post contains steps that helped me while living with active alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by Eyama12 
Hello every one, first time poster here, just want some advice....
Basically I'm just wondering what are the next steps, what will the doctor do or say? Will she ask questions regarding my daughters welfare?
Thanks
Dunno as far as the doctor. Some know what they are doing, some do not. Hopefully detox, rehab, AA, the whole enchilada for him. But "hope" is not a plan, and that is all his path (or not) -- not yours, either way.
Best recommend for YOU (again, YOU are what matters, here) is to educate yourself (the sticky posts at the top are a great start), start a program to get you and your daughter safe from this, some long term planning for when/if he eventually loses his job, wrecks the car, on and on with all the Soap Opera stories these folks inflict on their families' lives.
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