Anxiety Spiral Awareness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
Anxiety Spiral Awareness
I just responded to a post over on the "Newcomers to Recovery" thread in regard to being over responsible or an approval seeker, which for me is related to growing up in a very dysfunctional, alcoholic home.
My ACOA self woke up, and realize that I have been spiraling around anxiety at work, and it is directly related to my family of origin issues.
My supervisor's last day was a week ago Friday. We got along well... she knew that particular system, was there 13 years... I was at her location a little over a year.
Now that she is gone, the director of her division is in charge until a new manager is hired, and I am required to meet with her every other week.
Are my issues kicking in... for some reason, I guess b/c she is a powerful person in a place of authority over me, I am so triggered.
Also I recently went to a 20 hour work week. The short version of that is that the company is not very happy, and due to my disability ( I have chronic back issues) they made that accommodation under the ADA.
I perseverate and obsess about work when I am not there, I had very restless sleep on Sunday evening, and my worries bordered on paranoia regarding the meeting I had with her Monday morning.
And, I am doing my work. I am staying clean and sober, first and foremost.
Then, I am posting on SR on various forums, in relationship to what the topic is and how it relates to me. (self-care).
I am aware of how triggered I am, and do deep breathing and short meditative breathing to re-center myself.
I am about to go on a walk, which will help a lot.
I work this evening so am free for the next couple of hours to practice self care.
I am also catastrophizing around finding out that the person hired to pick up the other portion of my job will be sharing my office. One part of me thinks that make sense, but my inner child is freaking out b/c that means an invasion on my space on my boundaries.
I will need to re-center myself and take the time to empty some drawers, create space for the new person and kindly make it clear that my drawers and my designated space is just that, my space and I will ask that they do not invade my space.
However, I am nervous. Very nervous.... I am afraid that other person will just take over the office and it will no longer be a comfortable minimally decorated space that I find soothing.
I will do my own work, stay non-reactive and professional while I am there, and if need be, I can always look for another job.
Although getting a 20 hour work week at this point in my life is a miracle.
I get to work on my recovery from a pain pill addiction, have time to eat nutritionally well and exercise regularly, and the time to adjust to some major life changes that are happening now and will continue until the end of August.
Thank God for SR.
My ACOA self woke up, and realize that I have been spiraling around anxiety at work, and it is directly related to my family of origin issues.
My supervisor's last day was a week ago Friday. We got along well... she knew that particular system, was there 13 years... I was at her location a little over a year.
Now that she is gone, the director of her division is in charge until a new manager is hired, and I am required to meet with her every other week.
Are my issues kicking in... for some reason, I guess b/c she is a powerful person in a place of authority over me, I am so triggered.
Also I recently went to a 20 hour work week. The short version of that is that the company is not very happy, and due to my disability ( I have chronic back issues) they made that accommodation under the ADA.
I perseverate and obsess about work when I am not there, I had very restless sleep on Sunday evening, and my worries bordered on paranoia regarding the meeting I had with her Monday morning.
And, I am doing my work. I am staying clean and sober, first and foremost.
Then, I am posting on SR on various forums, in relationship to what the topic is and how it relates to me. (self-care).
I am aware of how triggered I am, and do deep breathing and short meditative breathing to re-center myself.
I am about to go on a walk, which will help a lot.
I work this evening so am free for the next couple of hours to practice self care.
I am also catastrophizing around finding out that the person hired to pick up the other portion of my job will be sharing my office. One part of me thinks that make sense, but my inner child is freaking out b/c that means an invasion on my space on my boundaries.
I will need to re-center myself and take the time to empty some drawers, create space for the new person and kindly make it clear that my drawers and my designated space is just that, my space and I will ask that they do not invade my space.
However, I am nervous. Very nervous.... I am afraid that other person will just take over the office and it will no longer be a comfortable minimally decorated space that I find soothing.
I will do my own work, stay non-reactive and professional while I am there, and if need be, I can always look for another job.
Although getting a 20 hour work week at this point in my life is a miracle.
I get to work on my recovery from a pain pill addiction, have time to eat nutritionally well and exercise regularly, and the time to adjust to some major life changes that are happening now and will continue until the end of August.
Thank God for SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 101
You are working your program. You know your triggers but some are like a new worker right in your office (how did this happen - I would like to have a soothing quiet place to work alone) - an office worker right there with you - that would trigger me and if you get a set of workers that talk all the time there is not as much productivity.
You are putting your needs first, doing well with exercise, soothing home routines, etc.
And you have a plan to put boundaries in place.
That would be the most important thing.
I would suggest, from personal experience, not to become their friend or let them tell you their problems.
I even was asked by a co worker to go to lunch and did so rarely. Preferred to bring a lunch and go walk - you don't want to get involved with them as that easily backfires if a problem comes up and there you are right with them.
A polite disinterested relationship is how I would do that (and that is hard won advice from experience) and as you put it - non reactive and professional.
You are putting your needs first, doing well with exercise, soothing home routines, etc.
And you have a plan to put boundaries in place.
That would be the most important thing.
I would suggest, from personal experience, not to become their friend or let them tell you their problems.
I even was asked by a co worker to go to lunch and did so rarely. Preferred to bring a lunch and go walk - you don't want to get involved with them as that easily backfires if a problem comes up and there you are right with them.
A polite disinterested relationship is how I would do that (and that is hard won advice from experience) and as you put it - non reactive and professional.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Yes work authorities and changes are hard to take when you have parent issues like I did. Any authority person would make my head spin when I was summoned, even good meetings. That led me to start my own company and I worked from home for a good long time. Loved that but I know not everyone can do that I couldn't for a long time.
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