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PAWS: cortisol, pounding heart, high bp, insomnia, etc.

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Old 06-25-2013, 05:24 AM
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klt
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PAWS: cortisol, pounding heart, high bp, insomnia, etc.

Hi.

Some background info about myself:

Male, 31 years old.
Binge drinker for 7 years. Average 1-4 times per month.
My first time getting drunk was at 18 years of age.
I never considered myself to be an alcoholic. I was never physically dependent on it.
When I drink I drink to get a decent buzz. I've never had any blackouts, and I've only passed out once (my first time getting drunk).


I binge drank 10% beer on may 6 and 7. On may 8 I started having symptoms which escalated to my first acute withdrawal episode (mild to moderate intensity). Intense anxiety, rapid heart beat (100-120bpm), high blood pressure (170/100, my normal is around 140/80), insomnia, sweating, etc.

The symptoms peaked after one week and didn't really start to come down until after the second week.

It is now almost 7 weeks after the fact and I'm experiencing:

- Pounding heart/heart beating harder than usual. This is most noticable when I'm in bed.
- Weak appetite.
- Resting heart rate between 80-100 (normal for me is 70-80).
- My blood pressure is probably quite high (I can feel it), but I don't dare to measure it because if it turns out to be a crazy number it'll just add to my anxiety.
- Minor insomnia/sleep not as refreshing as it used to be. I tend to wake up 2 or 3 times during the night.
- Intermittent discomfort in chest/stomach/gut area (anxiety/nervousness/tightness type feeling).
- Intermittently sweaty/moist hands and feet.
- Intermittent dry mouth.
- No motivation, no joy, no excitement. Mood tends to fluctuate between hopelessness and flat.
- Very sensitive to any kind of stress or negativity.
- Lost 7kg/15lbs of weight.
- Feel wired/wide awake almost all the time.

When I get tired, I can sometimes feel the sensation of tiredness briefly "pushing through", but then the feeling of being wide awake takes over. I'm surprised I get any sleep at all. Last night was actually the first time I got no sleep at all since this started. I usually get 5-7 hours of sleep, and 8-9 before this started.

Based on my reading about PAWS and alcohol withdrawal symptoms, I believe all of my above symptoms is being caused mainly by a chronically elevated level of cortisol, possibly due to dysregulation of the HPA axis.

Supposedly this does heal itself in time. But it's now been almost 2 months and I'm not sure if it's slowly getting better or if it's stagnant.

I should also mention that while I am a caffeine addict (1-3 cups per day), it does not seem to have any effect on this. I've tried cutting out coffee completely and it made no difference on my pounding heart.

Another thing to mention is that I am otherwise in good health. Before this started I felt good, both physically and mentally. I don't smoke and I don't use any prescription drugs. The only "drugs" I used on a regular basis was coffee and alcohol.

I have been trying to eat properly (though at times it's difficult) and I've also been taking a vitamin B complex.

I am interested to hear from people who have experienced these same symptoms (mainly pounding heart, high blood pressure, insomnia, etc) during protracted/post-acute withdrawal:

Did it ever go away completely?
How long did it take?
How long did it take between you starting to notice improvements and it going away completely?
Did you ever take any drugs for the high blood pressure? Are you off them now?


So far I have not sought medical attention for this, because I'm just trying to ride it out. I have read that PAWS symptoms can linger for weeks, months or even years. Being that this was my first acute withdrawal episode, and that I wasn't a "heavy" drinker, I'm hoping that the damage done has been minimal and will heal quickly.

I have not had anything to drink after this started and this has scared me enough to never want to drink again.


(As a sidenote, I've tried explaining my symptoms to my mother (who is not a medical person, but she has worked with drug abusers in a previous career) that I believe they were caused by my drinking. She absolutely does not believe it's possible. The only people in her mind that could possibly experience the symptoms I'm experiencing are "real" alcoholics (which I'm far from being, and she knows that).

She believes I am somehow imagining or triggering these symptoms because I'm worrying about something. When I talk about this she tells me that she is seriously concerned that I'm harming myself by doing this, and she believes that I can just make it go away if I want to.


Other than the fact that I feel unwell there is nothing in my life at the moment that I have to worry about. All my basic needs are being met. Nobody in my family is sick. My personal safety is not being threatened. If I could make this go away I would have done that a long time ago.

I'm mentioning this because my mother is one of the few close people I can turn to for support and it's frustrating that she does not believe me. I feel vulnerable and alone.)
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Old 06-25-2013, 05:26 AM
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to SR! You'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 06-25-2013, 05:34 AM
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LDT
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Of course seeing a doctor is always advisable. I had every symptom you listed when I was drinking, which continued a few weeks after I quit. Even during my brief attempt to "moderate" again I was thrown right back into them after just 2 glasses of wine. The good news is everything gradually got better when I quit for good......I now have no symptoms and am on no medication.
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Old 06-25-2013, 10:10 AM
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Hi klt,

I'm 3-1/2 months away from my last drink and have all the symptoms you describe, plus confusion, cognition, and memory issues. However, my drinking was a lot worse than yours, and I went through numerous detox/relapse cycles, which tends to exacerbate PAWS.

I notice that the symptoms vary a lot from day to day, and that a really bad day is often followed by one which is relatively much better. Overall, the trend is toward feeling better and better, although I sympathize with your frustration when you have a bad day.

It's true that your level of drinking would not seem to be sufficient to have caused such a major PAWS reaction, but I've come to think that the susceptibility to PAWS runs along a continuum, and perhaps you're close to the more susceptible end.

Sounds to me like in addition to the PAWS, you also have a bit of general anxiety, and maybe are dwelling a bit overmuch on your symptoms. I've found that the frequent advice given to engage in activities that get you "out of your head" is useful. AA, volunteer work, and church are good examples.

Also, whether you choose AA or some other route, I think doing work every day on recovery (as opposed to merely maintaining abstinence) is helpful. I've found that coming to SR every day and reading helps give me a more balanced perspective and encourages me to work on myself. In turn, I start to feel better physically too. Once I get some more functionality back, I hope to be a more active participant here. I hope you will too!
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:17 AM
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klt
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Thanks for the responses so far.

Some days are better than others. I find that on the days that I get decent sleep it's easier to keep the negative thoughts away.

Other days the thoughts of "am I going to feel like this for the rest of my life?" pops up easier.

I try to keep myself distracted to keep my mood up. Sometimes I'll go out for a walk or a bike ride, sometimes I'll stay at home and watch videos to keep my mind off this.

Right now the pounding heart, lack of stress tolerance and emotional numbness are the most bothersome symptoms.

I am a university student and I have fallen behind on my studies quite badly (for reasons unrelated to alcohol) and I was planning to work hard on catching up this fall. I'm planning to re-take 2 exams this august. I can probably do it if I force myself, but I don't know how I'm going to feel like at that time.

Another thing that bothers me is the thought of never feeling normal again. If I knew with 100% certainty that I would recover from this it would be easier to deal with.

Being a university student tends to cause a lot of stress and stress is one thing I cannot handle at the moment.

I think I can handle re-taking the exams in august. However, the thought of starting to commute to my school again (I live 1 hour away) and starting to attend lectures in september, etc, kind of freaks me out right now.

One on hand my future depends on getting an university degree (If I had to drop out for whatever reason, I would feel like a failure for the rest of my life), but on the other hand it feels pointless to continue my studies if I'm going to feel like this for the rest of my life.

I feel like a creative person and that I have so much left to give, but I can't do it in this state.

I am just worried I may have done permanent damage to myself.

It's really hard to tell if my condition is improving. The symptoms seems to have remained constant for quite a while now. This worries me. I'm also aware that worry can cause a negative feedback loop, amplifying itself. So I try to keep myself distracted as much as possible.

I am still interesting in hearing about more experiences on this issue (heart pounding, insomnia, emotional numbness lingering for a long time after the acute withdrawal)

Thanks.
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:29 AM
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I'd see a Dr klt.

The problem with diagnosing ourselves, apart form the lack of clinical experience, is we often lack the distance, the impartiality that another person would have.

see a medical professional

D
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:43 AM
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What you described is I go through everytime I relapse. first time I got these post withdrawal symptoms was over a decade ago and it was after binge drinking on beer, I could not believe that getting drunk on beer the night before could cause such symptomes the next day which reminded me of when I would use cocain. But it was the accumulation of years of getting hamered everynight. and from that day on my drinking career changed. I did not quit, but everytime I got drunk, I would not get hangovers anymore, but withdrawals instead, so my drinking became hell on earth. I am on a program of recovery now and I have been relapsing and everytime I relapse I do it knowing that I will experience those PAWS and I would need to drink again the next day to get rid of them or should I say to pospone the symptoms for another day. insanity. and it gets worst, at first it would take few days for my body and mind would return to normal, now it takes about a month at least, but physically I do get back to normal within a month. I did see a psychitrist and gotten some meds that help with withdrawls and anxiety and what not. today I am sober and I am grateful.
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:04 AM
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Originally Posted by klt View Post
Hi.

Some background info about myself:

Male, 31 years old.
Binge drinker for 7 years. Average 1-4 times per month.
My first time getting drunk was at 18 years of age.
I never considered myself to be an alcoholic. I was never physically dependent on it.
When I drink I drink to get a decent buzz. I've never had any blackouts, and I've only passed out once (my first time getting drunk).


I binge drank 10% beer on may 6 and 7. On may 8 I started having symptoms which escalated to my first acute withdrawal episode (mild to moderate intensity). Intense anxiety, rapid heart beat (100-120bpm), high blood pressure (170/100, my normal is around 140/80), insomnia, sweating, etc.

The symptoms peaked after one week and didn't really start to come down until after the second week.

It is now almost 7 weeks after the fact and I'm experiencing:

- Pounding heart/heart beating harder than usual. This is most noticable when I'm in bed.
- Weak appetite.
- Resting heart rate between 80-100 (normal for me is 70-80).
- My blood pressure is probably quite high (I can feel it), but I don't dare to measure it because if it turns out to be a crazy number it'll just add to my anxiety.
- Minor insomnia/sleep not as refreshing as it used to be. I tend to wake up 2 or 3 times during the night.
- Intermittent discomfort in chest/stomach/gut area (anxiety/nervousness/tightness type feeling).
- Intermittently sweaty/moist hands and feet.
- Intermittent dry mouth.
- No motivation, no joy, no excitement. Mood tends to fluctuate between hopelessness and flat.
- Very sensitive to any kind of stress or negativity.
- Lost 7kg/15lbs of weight.
- Feel wired/wide awake almost all the time.

When I get tired, I can sometimes feel the sensation of tiredness briefly "pushing through", but then the feeling of being wide awake takes over. I'm surprised I get any sleep at all. Last night was actually the first time I got no sleep at all since this started. I usually get 5-7 hours of sleep, and 8-9 before this started.

Based on my reading about PAWS and alcohol withdrawal symptoms, I believe all of my above symptoms is being caused mainly by a chronically elevated level of cortisol, possibly due to dysregulation of the HPA axis.

Supposedly this does heal itself in time. But it's now been almost 2 months and I'm not sure if it's slowly getting better or if it's stagnant.

I should also mention that while I am a caffeine addict (1-3 cups per day), it does not seem to have any effect on this. I've tried cutting out coffee completely and it made no difference on my pounding heart.

Another thing to mention is that I am otherwise in good health. Before this started I felt good, both physically and mentally. I don't smoke and I don't use any prescription drugs. The only "drugs" I used on a regular basis was coffee and alcohol.

I have been trying to eat properly (though at times it's difficult) and I've also been taking a vitamin B complex.

I am interested to hear from people who have experienced these same symptoms (mainly pounding heart, high blood pressure, insomnia, etc) during protracted/post-acute withdrawal:

Did it ever go away completely?
How long did it take?
How long did it take between you starting to notice improvements and it going away completely?
Did you ever take any drugs for the high blood pressure? Are you off them now?


So far I have not sought medical attention for this, because I'm just trying to ride it out. I have read that PAWS symptoms can linger for weeks, months or even years. Being that this was my first acute withdrawal episode, and that I wasn't a "heavy" drinker, I'm hoping that the damage done has been minimal and will heal quickly.

I have not had anything to drink after this started and this has scared me enough to never want to drink again.


(As a sidenote, I've tried explaining my symptoms to my mother (who is not a medical person, but she has worked with drug abusers in a previous career) that I believe they were caused by my drinking. She absolutely does not believe it's possible. The only people in her mind that could possibly experience the symptoms I'm experiencing are "real" alcoholics (which I'm far from being, and she knows that).

She believes I am somehow imagining or triggering these symptoms because I'm worrying about something. When I talk about this she tells me that she is seriously concerned that I'm harming myself by doing this, and she believes that I can just make it go away if I want to.


Other than the fact that I feel unwell there is nothing in my life at the moment that I have to worry about. All my basic needs are being met. Nobody in my family is sick. My personal safety is not being threatened. If I could make this go away I would have done that a long time ago.

I'm mentioning this because my mother is one of the few close people I can turn to for support and it's frustrating that she does not believe me. I feel vulnerable and alone.)
You sound borderline obsessive when it comes to symptoms and your health. Have you ever considered you have an anxiety disorder of some type? Withdrawal from alcohol SUCKS, trust me, but it doesnt follow the timeline you mentioned in your post. I would go to the doc and mention how you are feeling, and how much you focus on it. You may have some depression going on and adverse health effects caused by binge drinking.
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:27 AM
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klt
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Originally Posted by Nighthawk8820 View Post
You sound borderline obsessive when it comes to symptoms and your health. Have you ever considered you have an anxiety disorder of some type? Withdrawal from alcohol SUCKS, trust me, but it doesnt follow the timeline you mentioned in your post. I would go to the doc and mention how you are feeling, and how much you focus on it. You may have some depression going on and adverse health effects caused by binge drinking.
I realize it may come across as slightly obsessive, but the point is: I was feeling great before, no anxiety, not a worry in the world. Then a 2 day binge and bam: intense withdrawal symptoms for 2 weeks, and now I'm having these lingering symptoms.

When one feels like **** for so long it's difficult to ignore. I came here for support and to learn about other peoples experiences who have gone through the same thing.
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:54 AM
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If you have made the decision to quit drinking, we are here to support you. But if you have concerns about your health, I'll reiterate what Dee said...see a medical professional.
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Old 06-28-2013, 07:12 AM
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klt
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
If you have made the decision to quit drinking, we are here to support you. But if you have concerns about your health, I'll reiterate what Dee said...see a medical professional.
Yes, seeing a doctor is probably a good idea. I guess I'll have to do that if it doesn't go away. But since this concept of post-acute/protracted withdrawal seems to be quite common, I'm hoping to just be able to ride it out without medical assistance. I'm not sure what a doctor could do for me at this time other than perhaps prescribe a quick fix in the form of an antidepressant or something similar.
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Old 06-28-2013, 07:18 AM
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A lot of good advice here, i'd add that you might want to look at the caffeine intake. I had some pretty bad anxiety the first few months, still do have some at about 6 months actually. Caffeine in any amount made it much worse the first few months for me.

Regarding all the physical symptoms ( high BP and heart rate, chest pain, etc ) while that could be PAWS it could certainly be a whole host of other things. I understand you'd like to find out if others here have similar symptoms, but even if you did know that it would still be of benefit to see a doctor yourself.
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