NatalieNew

Hey guys, I'm new here (obviously)! I'm a 20 year old female college student. I've always liked going out and drinking with friends since I was like 16.. and I've had many problems arise from my drinking. Like so many others I don't drink obscenely often.. just on the weekends, maybe not even every weekend. BUT when I drink I almost ALWAYS blackout... Sometimes I don't even do anything bad/embarrassing (from what people tell me) but sometimes I do... I get aggressive sometimes or just plain stupid and irresponsible and babble nonsense..I've done a lot of things I regret... you get the picture. It used to be reallllly bad.. I'd throw up like every time I drank.. now, it's not as bad and I haven't thrown up in a long time (....maybe my tolerance is getting higher ? )but I do still get too drunk and blackout and I'd REALLY like to figure out how to drink in moderation.

I know I'm not drinking to 'fill a void' or black out sadness or anything like that. I went through a period when I was like 18 where I was depressed and I drank for those reasons and it's not like that at all anymore. I just want to be able to stay at the buzzed/slightly drunk level where I do have a lot of fun and don't black anything out (and I never go out or drink when I'm in a negative mood btw)

I know a lot of people's advice is to just quit all together, and while I'm open to hearing about your personal experiences/opinions, I'm really focusing on moderation now. I'm not at a place yet where I'm willing to give up drinking totally. I'm soon to be 21 and I really want to get this under control (or at least give it a best shot)....does anyone have any advice/where to start? Do you think just a general counselor could be helpful with this? or any good books? anything? haha

also... my grandfather was a verrrrry bad alcoholic...if that makes a difference.....

I just want to be able to go out and drink like normal and be a normal college student...

Pondlady

Welcome Natalie,
Welcome, we're glad you found us. Many of us have tried and failed at moderation. I've actually found it much easier to abstain from alcohol, than moderate.

It's good you're thinking about your drinking now, while you've got y our life before you. I think your idea of seeing a counselor is a good one. Stick around, read and post

LDT

I can't give you any advice on moderation, Natalie. I was terrible at it. It was much easier to quit altogether. All I can say is if you are blacking out at 20 years old, you're likely to be blacking out at 40. The answers to many of your questions are right here on SR....keep reading, and keep asking......Be well.

notfixable

I used to drink two handles every two weeks.... then it was two handles every 10 days. And i literally just realized that i only have enough for 8 days. Notice that the number keeps getting smaller. yup moderation don't work.

Anna

Blacking out is a sign of alcoholism. It's also extremely dangerous, especially for a young woman. I used to black out sometimes at the end of my drinking days and it was terrifying to know that there were chunks of my life that were lost to me.

I think all of us on this board have tried moderation and found it wouldn't work. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse unless you stop. There is no way to control when you will black out, except by not drinking.

I hope you take a look around and continue to post.

MIRecovery

If you can drink moderately then you are not an alcoholic. It is a chronic, progressive, fatal disease. Unfortunately once the switch has been flipped in our brains we can never go back to the way it was.

It is every alcoholics dream to be able to drink normally but it is a fantasy that will never come to fruition.

BuddinK

If you are already drinking to these extremes then moderation more than likely will not work. Most, if not all of us, have tried to moderate our drinking and it didn't work out.

If you are drinking til you black out you are on your way to having real trouble with alcohol.

You are very young and NOW would be the time to resolve your situation before it gets worse and while your body may still be able to repair the damage that has already been done.

You may want to see a Dr and have some tests done to make sure there is no damage already.


Good Luck.

Ken

corockies

You are lucky in the sense that you realize it already that there is a huge problem. I didn't dawn on my until recently after I was doing ridiculous things, drinking at work (never got fired, always smelled it on me), DUI, lost really good girlfriends.

I am 31 and just figuring it out now. If you can learn to quit in college, you will meet a lot of different people who aren't drinking. I am jealous of you for that!

Good luck

BikerAcct

Blacking out is a problem. Are you sure you're not confusing passing out with blacking out? I only ask because you are so young, I truly hope its' not blackouts.

Surlyredhead

Once we cross the line into Alcoholism, there is no such thing as drinking in moderation.
Trust me, it WILL get worse.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Natalie - I'm glad you're concerned about your drinking. We're glad to have you here.

In my 20's I knew I didn't drink like normal people. I chose to keep trying to moderate. I was determined to use willpower to control myself so I didn't have to give it up entirely. I wish I could tell you I was successful. As an older person I found myself drinking daily. I was completely dependent on it. I would love to have a chance to regain those lost years. Please be careful.

FeenixxRising

Hi Natalie, blacking out is very problematic for someone your age. From the time I was in my mid-teens and into my 20's and 30's, I probably drank every 6 weeks on average. When I did drink, I often drank heavily, but during that period, I blacked-out a total of two times. It wasn't until I was around 47 or so that I started to black-out on a regular basis.

That you're blacking out at such a young age is something you should take seriously.

However, if you're serious about drinking in moderation, I suggest visiting two websites I've linked below. You won't find much help for moderation on this forum, as the majority of us are committed to stopping drinking and using for good. If you decide stopping completely is the route you want to take you will find plenty of support here at Sober Recovery.

But good luck with your goal, I really hope you do at least cut back and get your drinking under control. You're much too young to have a bunch of alcohol related problems.

Moderation Management
Harm Reduction for Alcohol--HAMS

IWillWin

Welcome!

I was a complete and miserable failure at moderation so I'm in no position to dole out advice. I sincerely hope you can do it as it is something I long for but is not in the cards for me. Enjoying alcohol responsibly and without negative consequence is only but a dream for most of us who have danced with the demon.

Re: blackouts. I ask this because a) it is troubling that you are experiencing blackouts regularly and b) it could help you - are you taking any prescription drugs (either your own or someone else's) when you experience blackout? I found I blacked out most often and unpredictably when I mixed benzos into the equation which I'd do on occasion.

Just food for thought. Good luck to you and I applaud your self awareness about the troubles alcohol is causing you at such a young age.

Live2Run25

Blackouts are a very bad sign. This is usually seen in the later stages of alcoholism. The fact that you are doing it every time you drink is not a good sign. I'd say you better stop drinking now before it destroys your life.
Why not try not drinking for a couple months?

best of luck to you. You aren't going to find many people on here who will encourage you to try moderation. It hasn't worked for any of us, or we wouldn't be here.

Deckard

Natalie, I don't have any advice on moderating, because it didn't work for me. But I do suggest that you stick around SR, and especially keep reading. I had some experiences similar to yours in college, and I wish I had found this site back then. There is tons of support and good information here. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

Crossfitdad

I've noticed something new with college kids (or maybe I just hung with a different crowd). In my college drinking career I only blacked out once...and that was at the end of a very long night. I never blacked out again. However speaking to my brother and his friends, it seems like blacking out is a very common occurrence. I think kids these days are drinking much more in a much shorter time. I also think drinking and getting drunk is the point of the party, not like us where it just went along with the party.

They say blackouts are a sign of alcoholism. Maybe so. I think I caused my addiction by drinking nearly every night. Whatever you are doing is not safe or healthy. Drinking usually is a part of college, be careful. If you think it is a problem, get help now while you are young.

Nighthawk8820

I know you have good intentions, but you wont find any good advice here about drinking in moderation, because we are all mostly alcoholics. We all tried to drink in moderation as a last effort to not have to give up drinking all together, and 100% of the time, it didnt work out. Thats alcoholism for you. Now, I cannot say if you are an alcoholic or not, or just young and can possibly learn to drink more responsibly. That is for you to figure out.

FreeFall

There are people of any age group that can successfully drink "normally" and it's just not that important to them. You can pick them out really easily. You can also pick out the ones that are destined to have problems. Judging from what you've written you're probably in the second group. I've read about a lot of drinking related tragedies at colleges, and know when I was in college it was the main social activity (or maybe birds of a feather flock together in my case)

I think you're wise to be thinking about your issues with drinking now. I really wish I had wised up at such a young age. I missed out on so much by clinging to the party lifestyle and "having fun".

Dib42

Make sure you eat before you drink... And drink a lot less than you currently are when you go out. Avoid hard liquor, and don't have more than 1 beer 1 glass of wine per hour. (you can have 2 the first hour, but after that only one) and drink a glass of water in between.

Easy as that . . .

Unless you're me .. . because that regimen is boring as f**k. But that is what "drinking responsibly" is. . . Boring . . .

hayley86

Hi,
I dont think you would have posted here unless you realised there was something seriously wrong with what you are doing. You say you want to drink like a normal person yet the way you are drinking is definitely not like a normal person it is sounds to me like alcoholic drinking, the fact that you say you dont drink everyday is only a matter of time i believe, carry on the way you are doing and it will reach that stage it did for me.

I started out drinking like you are and only on weekends (all be it i wasnt having black outs like you say you are?) and by the time i reached 24 i was drinking alcoholically every day and was on the fast track to absolute ruin, i saw the docotor and was told my blood levels were fine so i spent another 2 years drinking and by 26 i ended up in the hospital. My doctors words were "two years ago i checked your blood levels and they were fine" this illness is so progressive it sneaks up on you and first ruins your mind so you dont think you can stop and then ruins your body. I stopped drinking 8 months ago and now i am fine and it was the best decision i have ever made. I think moderating is a very bad idea, i tried it time and time again and it didnt work for me and by the way you describe your drinking i really dont think it would work for you. Get this sorted now and listen to people who have been in your shoes you have a golden opportunity to get this sorted before you are physically addicted and do serious damage to yourself or to somewhere else.

I hope you manage to get this sorted whatever you decide, i really wouldnt wait around on it. Listen to what people are telling you and dont assume it doesnt apply to you, i was binging on weekends at your age and thought alcoholism was something that would never happen to but it did, get it sorted now and live a happy life.

All the best.