Cupcake75

It absolutely breaks my heart. I feel like I am nothing when he does it. He's a binge drinking, high functioning alcoholic and I cant count how many times he has peed on me when we are asleep in bed. He says its out of his control - that's right, because he drank himself into oblivion and I cop it. Feeling very fragile today and have joined this group to know that I am not alone. Surely there are other women out there who endure life with men who have this same disease as mine does? I usually cope, but its getting beyond my ability to manage now - and I am the sober one!

LexieCat

No, you're not alone--We have a few people here that have had that lovely eye-opening experience.

I didn't deal with that particular issue, but I did plenty of other similarly undignified things.

Welcome, glad you're here. Have you checked into Al-Anon?

suki44883

Oh hon, I used to date a man many years ago who ruined both my mattress and my couch. I can't begin to guess how many times I woke up in a puddle of urine.

It's not at all uncommon. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Welcome to SR. I hope you'll stick around and read a lot of posts from others who know what you're going through.

wicked

Oh my, cupcake, this breaks my heart to read it.

It has not happened to me, but I came close a couple of times.
I had moved to the sofa because his snoring was so bad when he was out of control drunk, I could not sleep at all. I was the one who had to get up in the morning.

Yes, there are many of us who have endured life like this for years.
I know I did, and I also was an alcoholic myself.

There is help here for you, and a great deal of emotional support.
I am sorry you feel so down.
You were not meant to live like this.
I am glad you found this place, I think it is the best at what it does.
Helping people of all kinds with recovery.

I hope you stay, read some of the stickies, and let others warmly welcome you to our group here.

Beth

KKE

I've not been peed on, but I've been vomited and dribbled on in the past..... Lovely.

wanttobehealthy

I'm so sorry you've had that experience and yes I've had it happen too and to demeaning and embarrassing ( at least that's how I felt ) and you're many steps ahead of where I was when it first happened. I said nothing -ever actually.

My heart goes out to you!

Kayla50

I have not been peed on. Sadly, after drinking SO much vodka, I have woken up from dreams that I was going pee and was actually peeing my bed. This has happened to me probably five times (luckily all by myself) and each time I am mortified!!! I also will dreams of chugging gallons of water which I'm sure has to do with being terribly dehydrated. I'm only on day 2 today. Again. I hate this.

SoloMio

Yes, I've been peed on. One memorable occasion was when we were on vacation in VT and he was snoring so loudly from being drunk, I got out of the bed and slept on the floor near the bed.

I heard him get up and stumble around and I assumed he was looking for the bathroom, but he never made it. He stopped right at where I was lying and... well, you know..

Not fun. Pretty disgusting. I didn't feel demeaned, just outraged at the insult against me.

Diva76

I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulties with your boyfriend....
I haven't personally experienced being "peed on" but, I do re-call a friend of mine who was dating a girl with a drinking problem and her tendency to wet the bed after an evening of heavy drinking.....

So, it doesn't appear that you are alone....(unfortunately...)

I wish you the very best....

Linda

choublak

Can't say I've ever been peed on, but don't feel bad about not being able to manage it. It's not something you should have to manage.

Ellvk

Oh, yes.... Not for a long time, though.... because I will not sleep with AH when he's been drinking. Gross.

So sorry.

DreamsofSerenity

Thank G-d, no. But my addict brother was sick to his stomach and crapped in the bed while in it with his girlfriend. She left him after that. I congratulated her and helped her pack her bags.

If my ex ever peed on me, I think I'd go in the bathroom, pee in a cup and dump it on his head. I'd be so effing mad.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You're not alone.

CarryOn

I'm sorry this happened to you. Is setting a boundary "I will not sleep in the same bed as someone that has been drinking" reasonable for you? My RAH never peed in bed (thanking my lucky stars!), but the snoring after drinking was horrible. I started making him sleep in the other room when drinking...the first time was hard, but it got easier as I realized that I slept MUCH better.

dandylion

Cupcake, I had a friend once who lived with a boyfriend who peed the bed every single night. I went to her house to help her move out and I remember that the whole house had an ammonia-like smell.

I will say though, that it is a normal physiological reaction to drinking a large amount of alcohol--and it is not under conscious control. In the brain, the alcohol inhibits the release of the anti-diuretic hormone and large amounts of fluid is released. Ever notice that the urine looks like water after drinking a few beers? It practically is!

The alcoholic is not peeing at anyone, they are just peeing. It is like: The alcoholic is not drinking At you; they are doing what alcoholics do--just drinking.

dandylion

DG0409

theuncertainty

Hi, Cupcake. I'm sorry for what brings you here, but I'm glad you're reaching out for support. Welcome.

AXH's bathroom issues was one reason I left the mattress and boxspring when I left him. It was ruined. He tried to blame the bed wetting on our infant son. He also mistook the closet for the bathroom, the washing machine, the front coat closet....

Really, I found it really hard to not take it personally. It didn't help that no matter which location I switched my clothes to; wherever they were was where he'd pee. Never on his clothes. Ditto with the washing machine: it was always seemed to be when it was my laundry. IDK. Coincidence, maybe, but it wasn't pleasant in any case.

Quish16

You are not alone. I have found stains on AH dressing gown and a stain on the bed which he blamed on the cat. Good luck - thinking of you.

NeedHappiness

Cupcake....welcome to SR. You have found a wonderful place to talk about things and begin feeling better about yourself again.
When I came here about 5 years ago, I mostly read and lurked around. ONce I found out I wasn't alone in this battle and that others had experienced similar things that I had been too embarrassed to share, it made my life easier to deal with. I began posting here and there to get tohers opinions or just to vent.
My ABF has peed the bed...... and he's stood up and peed on the wall BY the bed....he's peed in the dirty clothes hamper..... all of which he seemed to be sleep walking but actually was so drunk that he didn't know where he was. Its disgusting and shameful.

You are not alone. Please stick around with us.
Blessings to you.....

Florence

No, but I'm pretty sure he peed down the basement stairs. Like, often.

honeypig

Holy cow, this did happen several times very early in our marriage when I didn't have any idea what it was all about....and each time he tried to blame it on ME!! Eventually he admitted it "seemed" to be him, and then told me that he was dreaming that he was peeing, just as another poster on this thread mentioned.

The snoring thing, too--we have not shared a bed in years now b/c I could not take the snoring, being a light sleeper to begin with. At first I could get him to stop snoring if I made him roll to his side instead of sleeping on his back, but as time went on (and, knowing what I know now, as the drinking increased), even that wouldn't help, so I moved to a separate room to sleep.