Trying to get over alcoholic ex
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Peterborough Ontario
Posts: 2
Trying to get over alcoholic ex
My ex is an 31 yr old admitted alcoholic. He dumped me a month ago - on Mother's Day. We were living together for a year and I cannot believe how crushed I still feel. He had so many good qualities and I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him, but once I started getting sick if his alcoholism I guess he decided to detach from me...Claimed to love me more than anything on the Friday and dumped me on the Sunday and was downright cruel from then on. Although he denies cheating, i found out he was with his ex the night before he dumped me. We have had no contact since I moved out a week after being dumped. I have never had such a hard time getting over a break up. He now hates me because I told his family how he was self destructing. I don't know why this is so hard to get over, my heart is broken.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Sorry you are having a tough time. It sounds like he is kicking back a bit if you were challenging his drinking which suggests he is nowhere near the point of quitting, in which case you are better of without him. These things get worse before they get better. Welcome to SR x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Peterborough Ontario
Posts: 2
Thank you. I wonder if he ever loved me or if he only loved that I didn't try and force him to quit drinking or give ultimatums..he seemed so genuine...but I think now maybe he is a good actor and I was fooled a little bit.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
as we look back later
Originally Posted by 1975 
I don't know why this is so hard to get over, my heart is broken.
give yourself time to heal
a broken heart is a hard thing to mend
but
in the long run as we look back later
everything makes way more sense
it wasn't until a girlfriend of 12 years and I broke up
that I was free to move on and find the right one
we have been married for seven years now
a broken heart is a hard thing to mend
but
in the long run as we look back later
everything makes way more sense
it wasn't until a girlfriend of 12 years and I broke up
that I was free to move on and find the right one
we have been married for seven years now
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by 1975
My ex is an 31 yr old admitted alcoholic. He dumped me a month ago - on Mother's Day. We were living together for a year and I cannot believe how crushed I still feel. He had so many good qualities and I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him, but once I started getting sick if his alcoholism I guess he decided to detach from me...Claimed to love me more than anything on the Friday and dumped me on the Sunday and was downright cruel from then on. Although he denies cheating, i found out he was with his ex the night before he dumped me. We have had no contact since I moved out a week after being dumped. I have never had such a hard time getting over a break up. He now hates me because I told his family how he was self destructing. I don't know why this is so hard to get over, my heart is broken.
You will be fine. Sounds like you dodged a bullet by having him break up with you, because he has issues you cant help him with. Now he is gone, and you can move on and maybe find someone better suited for you.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 179
1975, This is so typical of a practicing alcoholic. My boyfriend is in recovery but recently relapsed. That was difficult. I also contacted his family because he has liver problems and he was angry but his family was angry with me too. Can't figure that one out. Cruelty was also in the mix. I can so relate. He does not want to be confronted with his drinking because he doesn't want to take a look at himself. You can only change you . Hang in there. We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Hi, 1975, welcome to SR. Sorry to hear about your incredibly $hitty situation!
There is a section of this forum that is for family and friends of alcoholics. I'll post the link here Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information in case you want to check it out. You may find that the postings there resonate more w/you and are more specific to what you're going thru.
As others have said, altho what he did FEELS terribly and painfully personal, it has nothing to do w/you and everything to do with his drinking being threatened. I'd also like to suggest getting to an Alanon meeting if you possibly can. Even tho you're not with him now, you're still dealing w/the emotional wreckage. Alanon is full of people who've been in your shoes and who can share their experience, strength and hope with you. I'd highly recommend it.
Hang in, keep coming here to read and post, and please do consider checking out Alanon!
Wishing you some peace and clarity today.
There is a section of this forum that is for family and friends of alcoholics. I'll post the link here Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information in case you want to check it out. You may find that the postings there resonate more w/you and are more specific to what you're going thru.
As others have said, altho what he did FEELS terribly and painfully personal, it has nothing to do w/you and everything to do with his drinking being threatened. I'd also like to suggest getting to an Alanon meeting if you possibly can. Even tho you're not with him now, you're still dealing w/the emotional wreckage. Alanon is full of people who've been in your shoes and who can share their experience, strength and hope with you. I'd highly recommend it.
Hang in, keep coming here to read and post, and please do consider checking out Alanon!
Wishing you some peace and clarity today.
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