elisha82

Hi

Im new to this site, i've had a problem with drinking now for about 6 years, this weekend after another drink fuelled day i admitted everything to my bf and my best friend. my friend offered me counselling from someone he knows & i agreed to it at the time cuz I was drunk. Now im sober 3 days and my bf keeps bugging me to go...but Ive chickened out.. im afraid to go & im wishing I never told them about it. But I do want to get better I hate drinking and what it does to me, my bf doesnt understand if I hate it & its making me depressed why do I do it?....funny thing is I havnt a clue either!

Anyway my main point is I want to see if i can do this on my own, has anyone here done it without the use of counsellers or AA?

Thanks for reading

Elisha x

sunshinescooby

Hi Elisha,

First welcome! You have discovered a great place. I think it is possible for some people to get sober on their own, but to me it is a lot easier with outside support. AA has really helped me. I'm only on day 7, so I'm no expert. I'm sure you'll here from other folks about their experiences. My attitude is that I am willing to do anything to make this easier. But that's just me. Everyone needs to find their own way.

Take care and good luck with day 3! ODAAT!!!

Scoob.

elisha82

Thank u scoob for your reply.

I guess Im in a bit of denial & fear is stopping me going to get help & admitting I need help is really hard too. I think if I get a few weeks over me without drinking It will get easier. but at the min I can only take one day at a time, if I think about weeks without drink I start to panic. also I have drink in the house now that I can't bring myself to thrown out...thats a bit worrying for me as my bf is gone now until 2moro & i am afraid Ill give in as im off work 2moro 2...but I still can't bring myself to throw it out...what is wrong with me anyway

Elisha 82

Pedro1234

Hi Elisha and welcome to SR. There is lots of help here from people just like yourself. The answer is yes there are people that have stopped drinking on their own but they would be in the minority. Some people just use this site and seem to succeed but again i don't know what the success rate is. If you are offered help why not go along and have a talk to the Councillor? It may benefit you alot. We are all afraid at the start to confront our issues but it gets easier as you get more sober time under your belt. You are lucky to have your BF and Friend wanting to help you, Take all the help you can. Congrats on your first 3 days sober and Good luck. Keep posting

sassu78

Hi Elisha and welcome!

I quit cold turkey and was on my own for 30 days. I only used this site, posted, read and hang in the chat room. Once I got 30 under my belt I went to AA. Now I go there almost every evening. I love having people around me who understand what I'm going through.

Wish you all the best!

Pedro1234

You have to be ready to stop drinking, If you are not ready it wont matter if the booze is in the house or 100 miles away. You can do this one day at a time. Be strong Elisha

GreenEggsAndHam

I got some advice last night from a fellow AA member:

If I feel panicked or upset about never drinking again, just focus on not drinking for 24 hours. Then the next 24, then the next 24. This is what is meant by one day at a time. Don't look *too* far into the future if you are anticipating negative outcomes. Focus on not drinking today, and get a good support system.

This is something I'm working on.

NJKitty

Elisha: You made an excellent choice by coming here. There are lots of great people who have experience and advise. I have tried AA and just didn't feel it was a fit for me. The one sentence you wrote "but at the min I can only take one day at a time, if I think about weeks without drink I start to panic." made me thing of AVRT, which is something I have been reading up on. It is a good fit for me. No matter what method you choose, make a plan, that has gotten me through 3 weeks so far. Best wishes

visch1

Hi and welcome. I as an alcoholic look for the softest easiest ways. For 2 years my way wasn't working at all. I might not drink for a day and celebrate that with a weeks drinking, go to AA for a couple days and being dishonest with myself drink again. People said keep coming and fortunately I did until I finally got the message that I needed to work the program because mine wasn't working. 30+ years later that program is still working for me and millions of others. BE WELL

hayley86

Hi Elisha,
I think you have made a great first step in joining this site, it is a brilliant place with lots of great advice and support. As people have said you have to want to stop drinking to be able to do it. I have attended AA meetings in the past but didn't feel like they were entirely for me. I stopped drinking 8 months ago with the support of using this online forum and different websites, my GPs support was invaluable and by having a daily plan of activities to keep me on track along with family support which was vital. I am now considering different options (possibly AA again or another programme) as I am much stronger now and feel as though I should definitely explore my options some more. I would like to have as many coping mechanisms and tools as I may need in the future because im sure that life's hurdles will test me enormously over the years.

I think for most people the thought that they couldn't do something for the rest of their life would send sheer panic through them, it did with me when I fist stopped drinking. You have to really focus on taking it a day at a time, that's something that getting sober has really helped me with, I live in the moment now and don't think too far into the future but I do have a plan for today. It does get easier over time aswell, I didn't think I would be able to stop drinking and here I am 8 months later sober.

The fact that you have drinks in the house and you cant bear to throw them out speaks volumes, if you cant get rid of them and make a start right here right now maybe you really do need some extra support?. I would get rid of those right now if I were you and give yourself half a chance.

Hope whatever you choose to do works for you. Keep posting here its a great place.

All the best.

sunshinescooby

Elisha.. there is nothing wrong with you. You are here looking for support and help. That is an excellent start! You've already got three days behind you. That's fantastic.

AVRT is good too. In my mind I want to do whatever makes this easier. AVRT and AA not really make it easier, but it def. helps..

elisha82

Hi

First of all I just want to say how amazed I am at all the quick respones & how people on here genuinely care. it actually brought tears to my eyes.

I think the reason I don't want to go to professionals is that im a nurse so I don't want my name on any records of having an alcohol problem, I no how the system works & I no how any other medical problem will be associated with your alcohol abuse even if your recovered for years. (now I don't no if thats my addicted self making up excuses or thats the real me talking).

I didnt no what AVRT was but I looked it up & it seems very interesting to me its something I could get my head around..I've read alan carrs how to control alcohol & its kinda similar, thinking of the addiction as something separate from yourself, like some kind of evil troll or somethin that has to be defeated.. I think i will read more into that for sure.

Hayley86-Just a heads up I drank those drinks yesterday so u wer absolutely right I just can't have drink in the house what was I thinking. so im back to day one again. I could feel sh*t about that but u no what Im never gona give up giving up no matter how many times I relapse. Finally I just wana say how I love that I can be completely honest on this site & no one will judge me or make me feel like a failure. & I love that I have people that no understand what Im going through and no what Im talking about when I say things that people who are not addicted will think Im crazy for.

Again thank you so much you are all amazing

Im am going to keep on coming here & posting

Elisha xx

Krodos

AA is not for me, I quit on my own with the help of this forum and after I had read about AVRT.

Learning to disassociate myself from that voice that tries to convince me to drink was an incredibly powerful tool for me.

hayley86

Hi Elisha,
I understand now about why you don't want it to go on your medical records makes sense, you only have to tell who you want to if anyone at all the most important thing is you are being honest with yourself and be honest with the people on here, that's so very important!. Definitely keep the drinks out of the house and if you feel tempted to have a drink come on here and post about it there is always someone around with useful advice and support, talking to someone about how you feel can stop the urge to drink or at least that's what I found.

Day one is a great place to be It means your making a start and everyone has been there, you seem like you have a very determined attitude to get yourself sober and that's a great thing. Post on here lots, I was just saying to someone about the chatroom too, lots of new people use it and its a great place for passing time and it can be a good laugh.

Wishing you the very best.

elisha82

Thank u Krodos u give me hope that I can do this myself, as I was expecting everyone to say u can't do this on your own its not possible. But your proof that it is possible..

elisha82

Hayley86

Thank u for your understanding & for your good advice. your positive additude makes me feel like I can do this. i hope u know that what u do on this site is a very big help to people & are very much appreciated

xxx