day 1
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome to the secular connections section of the forums. I'm not stalking you, honest! I'm just friendly. The smart people will be along shortly with some advice. They sleep late, I think. 
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hello ,
welcome to SR.
good to see you here, and you know you need to quit.
there is no shortage of all kinds of advice all over SR; keep reading and see what you find that might be helpful to you.
for me, that included daiuly participation in a forum, a weekly face-to-face meeting, reading tons of literature, looking at my history, looking at myself and what i thought the stuff "gave" me...
it's work.
no doubt about that.
work that's do-able
welcome to SR.
good to see you here, and you know you need to quit.
there is no shortage of all kinds of advice all over SR; keep reading and see what you find that might be helpful to you.
for me, that included daiuly participation in a forum, a weekly face-to-face meeting, reading tons of literature, looking at my history, looking at myself and what i thought the stuff "gave" me...
it's work.
no doubt about that.
work that's do-able
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by lookingtobefree 
I am trying to say goodbye to my wine. ...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by lookingtobefree
I am trying to say goodbye to my wine. For the first time my husband said something to me, and for the sake of our future family, I need to quit. Looking to find some new sober friends.
Observe your thoughts and feelings, positive and negative, about drinking or using. Thoughts and feelings which support continued use are called the Addictive Voice (AV); those which support abstinence are you. When you recognize and understand your AV, it becomes not-you, but "it," an easily-defeated enemy that has been causing you to drink. All it wants is pleasure. "I want a drink," becomes, "It wants a drink." Think to yourself, "I will never drink again," and listen for its reaction. Your negative thoughts and feelings are your AV talking back to you. Now, think, "I will drink/use whenever I please." Your pleasant feelings are also the AV, which is in control. Recovery is not a process; it is an event. The magic word is "Never," as in, "I will never drink/use again." Recognition defeats short-term desire, and abstinence soon becomes effortless. Complete separation of "you" from "it" leads to complete recovery and hope for a better life. The only time you can drink is now, and the only time you can quit for good is right now. "I will never drink/use again," becomes, "I never drink now." It's not hard; anyone can do it.
Member
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
welcome lookingtobefree,,hope u do indeed make some new and nice friends here on sr,,i have no advice to offer,,cos im just lil ole me,,but you are doing the best ting,,saying goodbye to the ole "vinodecollaspsible",,awseomo xx
hugs cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
x watch out for nonsensical tho,,,v v cheeky xxxxx lol
hugs cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
x watch out for nonsensical tho,,,v v cheeky xxxxx lol
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Hi LookingToBeFree, I am glad you found us here. From where I sit, I'veHadEnough described a great start with this avrt stuff. That's a good understanding of the mindful awareness and separation aspect of this cognitive approach to soberness.
The next part, the part where the rubber meets the road, is to make your commitment to never drinking again, call it your Big Plan. This makes a two pronged attack on your AV. It is necessary for sobriety, and it also makes it easy to become aware of and to recognize that beast. A twofer. Remember that doubt in yourself is beast activity too. GT has helped with a notation about that idea in your post.
Set that confidence-in-yourself dial to 11, and do this thing. You can, you know, you most assuredly can do it. Now is a perfect time too. There is no try, because that is the beast working you. It is terrifying to imagine, maybe, but just remember that it is your beast that is scared sh!tless. Too bad for it. Onward.
The next part, the part where the rubber meets the road, is to make your commitment to never drinking again, call it your Big Plan. This makes a two pronged attack on your AV. It is necessary for sobriety, and it also makes it easy to become aware of and to recognize that beast. A twofer. Remember that doubt in yourself is beast activity too. GT has helped with a notation about that idea in your post.
Set that confidence-in-yourself dial to 11, and do this thing. You can, you know, you most assuredly can do it. Now is a perfect time too. There is no try, because that is the beast working you. It is terrifying to imagine, maybe, but just remember that it is your beast that is scared sh!tless. Too bad for it. Onward.
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