Gem1967

I married a beautiful sober man in 1995. He was 4 years into his recovery when we met. We married quickly as we had both "knew" it was right. Similar family dynamics, same morals and religious beliefs. I believe the clincher for me was the honesty. He told me about his recovery and history on our second date. I assured him we all have skeletons that make us who we are today. Bam! I was the "therapist" and he the "patient". We have it all a great home, jobs, his toys too many to name and for the last 5 years severe chronic depression. His 1st relapse was a year long after 14 years sober Aug 10 2005. We were under a lot of stress building our dream home, out "best friends" at the time liked to party on weekends and he wanted to fit in. After 1 year Aug 30, 2006, I called the police and they stood guard while I packed bags for my kids and myself and left. The next day my father and I returned and he was sober for 3 years. In 2009, after 13 months of suffering bed ridden chronic depression he drank for 4 days trying to cheer himself up. Another 18 months and 2- 6 month sessions of ECT's (electric shock therapy) he was mildly depressed. Now 5 years unemployed, and him wanting to be able to return to work he finally seeking help from a different psychiatrist this past April. He has weened him off the 5 antidepressants and finally on my birthday a week ago I come home to find him drinking beer. 2 days later he breaks 2 ribs after flipping a 4 wheeler and is in pain and taking 10-12 Percocets, Xanax and drinking till he passes out each night. Each night I hear how horrible I am, how he's got a back up plan with a place to stay and money hidden. Then in the AM he says he doesn't like it and as soon as the pain's gone he's stopping. I'm am emotional detached. I just don't care. I do find myself trying to control the situation sometimes but usually when my 14 yo daughter is attempting to do so and she's frantic for me to stop him. I have an overwhelming feeling of wanting to end this but can't seem to do so. I'm not even sure I want him to quit drinking, it'll make it sooo much easier to leave.

Nighthawk8820

So what is stopping you?

least

He's shown you he can't be trusted to stay sober. I think for your child's sake and your own you might want to live without him. I'm not trying to be harsh but he's had numerous chances and has blown them all. I'd hate to be your daughter growing up with this.

whosetoblame

He needs space. I think you should go and let reality hit him. In the meantime maybe you both can begin to sort out your feelings. It sounds like your in each others way. Time apart with a little counseling or meetings would do you so good.