Jennirey

I know its not mine to help her with at all.. She just cannot wrap herself around a higher power.. She has suffered so many things in her life..Not caused by her addictions. Her addictions were her way of not feeling.. I get that I cannot help her with that.

She struggles so much with any belief that there is a HP.

aasharon90

I don't know how not to believe because
I was raised and schooled with faith, belief
and religion. As a baby first brought into
this world we are fed everything until we
learn what has been taught to us and then
old enough to carry on ourselves.

Many times today if I don't know something,
I usely follow by examples. If the examples
seem to be appealing and something i'd like
to learn from or follow from to better myself
or make life easier, then I will use it in my own
lifes situations.

As an alcoholic in recovery for the past 22 yrs.
I have taken what I have needed to help me stay
sober by listening to others that have stayed
sober a day at a time and have bettered their
lives by incorporating the tools and knowledge
of a recovery program in my everyday life.

If I see the quality of their life living honest, healthy,
and with gratefulness then I will continue to go thru
the motions till ive achieved the promises offered
to us.

Going thru the motions, even if im skeptical or
unsure. If it seems to be working for others for
long periods of time, then it is worth my while
to follow in their footsteps.

Go thru the motions till I get it. And I will and I
have sooner or later.

Jennirey

She was raised with and Schooled with Faith and Religion as well... She lost her faith hope and belief when her father took his own life when she was 9, and when my second husband molested her when she was 11..She has been in and out of therapy and with a Psychiatrist since she was 11...her addictions first consumed her when she was 19... Before that she used but I did not know she was..Till her life spiraled out of control... Now that she wants to be sober and remain sober..She is struggling with that 2nd step...

Carlotta

Someone posted a link to this great website on another thread Secular and Alternative Steps | AA Agnostica
Maybe that could help her?

legna

Well, personally I believe that there is a difference between helping and enabling in such a situation. Finding a Higher Power may be something that she cannot do entirely on her own and so, helping may be compassionate as long as you are doing so without expectations.

It took me over twenty-one years in recovery to identify my Higher Power. I had one prior to that but didn't recognize it as such.

This is the part that I agree that you cannot help her with. I do understand though. I too suffered many things in life unrelated to my addiction - it has been my experience working with other addicts that most of us have similar experiences or at least experiences that made us feel the same way. My point in mentioning that is simply to give you hope - I am an atheist who suffered horribly prior to and independently from my addictions and still found recovery...so there is hope.

aasharon90

When I was drinking full of resentments, hatred,
selfpity, selfishness, self-centeredness, and everything
else I could blame for my pathetic childhood abuse,
verbal, physical, emotional, at the hand of a sick
mother, I eventually just wanted to die. Go into
a deep sleep to not feel emotional pain any longer.

I was tired of hating people that were suppose to
be my loving family. People that would understand
me, comfort me, incourage me and were just plain
ol folks doing what they were suppose to do in life.
Carry on. Of course, never mind the people you
hurt because of their own illness.

In recovery, I learned how to take my life back
and learn ways to move past all those negative
obsticles that would cause me to drink and bring
myself down.

To forgive others in my own way so that I could
finally be happy and free in my life, even if it didn't
include anyone else.

For me, the only Thing, the only Person, the only
HP of my understanding that I trust with my life
is the Man upstairs. Each day I strengthen my
belief and faith to the best of my ability to guide
me and protect me from the evils of the world.

No matter what happens from this day forward
I know I am in good hands. What I thought before
being in good hands of family, is not something I
can depend on or rely on any longer. They hurt me
one too many times that It nearly destroyed me with
the help of alcohol.

Recovery restored me back to life and Faith has
healed me each day I remain sober in His care.

Kindeyes

Hopefully she has a sponsor who can help her figure this out. People seem to think of a HP as something specific......a being or entity. And because the word "God" is used (the God of my understanding) in 12 step programs, people often assume that it is a Christian version of God.

The God of my understanding is not a being or entity. It is a mystery that I don't feel compelled to understand. It is an energy. It is the universe. It is everything around me--people, nature. All I have to do is walk outside and take a little hike to see that there is SO MUCH that is greater than I am. That is my higher power......I do choose to call my higher power God but the God of my understanding is very different than the God I was taught about growing up.

I'm very comfortable with my Higher Power and I think my HP is pretty comfortable with me too.

I hope and pray that she will find some understanding of what "Higher Power" means to her. Perhaps time will reveal more to her.

gentle hugs
ke

LoveMeNow

I have heard a few different speakers say they started out the same way. One in particular stands out. He said "The first 5 years in the program, I hated God because I truly believed He hated me." Today, his faith is unshakeable. He had over 20 years of being clean. So my point is.....I don't think this is very uncommon in the beginning. If she continues to stay in the program, she will find her way.