ruletheworld

Hi. Although I am not new to the SR forums, I am new to the Friends and Family section. I, myself, am a recovering alcoholic; sober now for nearly 3 years. Through meetings and loving family support I feel, at the moment that I have a grip on my own problem - although I know I must remain vigilant to maintain my sobriety.

My question is about my sister, who's own drinking problem has escalated to a dangerous degree in the past 2 years or so. No amount of trouble or embarrassment she's gotten into has convinced her that she has a real problem. It's frustrating for me, because I know what she's going through, but can't convincingly convey to her with my words that she needs help. I've offered to take her to meetings, but I think she's got a snobby attitude towards AA - she would be embarrassed to be seen at such a place.

Although I am not particularly close with my sister, I feel like my family is looking towards me to spearhead this whole operation because I have firsthand experience with alcoholism and recovery. When she has an "incident" her husband or my parents call me looking for advice. I don't know what to do or say anymore.

I guess my question is with myself being a recovering alcoholic, would it be appropriate for me to go to Al-Anon meetings to get help and support? Is Al-Anon the right place to start or is there someone else I should contact? My family is thinking of doing an intervention, but I know these can be dangerous and can have a negative effect. Any advice would be appreciated.

dandylion

Dear ruletheworld--welcome to this corner of the universe!! "Double winners" are very welcome and can offer a very valuable perspective!

Stay and join us as we share our experience and hope and support each other.

dandylion

Tuffgirl

Absolutely you can go to Al-Anon, but know its not a place to find ways to reach out to an alcoholic and get them to stop drinking. Al-Anon teaches us how to live regardless of what our loved ones are doing.

In my home group, there are many double-winners, and their perspectives are so helpful. I imagine this is why your family relies on you for advice. Our double winners on this forum are relied upon by others for the same kind of advice. That's great on one hand - you can share your wisdom and experience - but I sense for you it feels like a bit of a burden at the same time, like you are being held responsible for fixing her.

You know you can't "make" her stop doing anything. An intervention may work, but what if it doesn't? Is your family prepared for the consequences of that? Most folks here recommend you find a seasoned professional for one; an addictions specialist or possibly a rehab center could help you find that resource.

Congrats on your sobriety! That's awesome! I think the best you can do for your sister is continue to be an example of a life well lived, and let her know when she is ready, you are happy to help her find the same path you have. That she can have that life too.

laurie6781

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Welcome!!! Another DOUBLE WINNER in the making.

I hope your sponsor has explained to you the adage of "no 12 stepping anyone we are emotionally involved with." Mine had to remind me, both about my father and about my husband who had decided to change his Drug Of Choice from Alcohol to gambling.

And I was exactly 3 years sober when she sent me to alanon and insisted that I get an Alanon sponsor also, lol Alanon had and still does help me in so so many ways and I feel it has enhanced the 12 steps of AA.

You will be welcomed in Alanon, you are family of a practicing alcoholic!

Post here, and read here as much as you want. You may not hear what you want to hear, but the folks here, myself included, have been where you are now or are where you are now and are more than willing to share their ES&H.

Nice to see you over here but sorry for why you have to.

Love and hugs,