FreddyBear

Got in a bad car accident yesterday (sober), front wheel got into the hole in the road and the car jumped out of the road and smashed the road barrier. No other parties involved but the car front is pretty much done. Also bad internal damages. After all calculations I need to pay about my 2-month income to fix it. I texted my buddy about it and he suggested just to take a case of beer and forget this sh*t. That's what I have usually done in the past. Anyway, I'm pretty much stressed out about this and need some tips for stress management. I know I may sound girly, because no one died/injured etc. so this is not a big deal, but I'm unlucky to have low frustration tolerance. I know normal people have someone to talk this through and it helps, but I just don't.

happybeingme

Hi Freddy,
I am so sorry you got in an accident. That is scary as heck. The damage sounds pretty lousy too. Do you have auto insurance? If so report it. Otherwise, just take a few deep breaths and try to relax. Quietly sit with a cup of hot tea or coffee.
You can get through this without booze. As stressful as it seems now it will be much harder to deal with if you get drunk.
Again I am sorry this happened. Just take some time to process it and as soon as you can get back into a car and drive again. It will help

soberclover

So sorry to hear about your accident but I am so glad you are relatively okay!!!! Don't do the drinking thing...that won't help your situation and it won't help with your healing from your internal injuries. You need to rest to heal. Did you see a doctor? Are you following the suggestions? This will all pass and you will be stronger for it having dealt with it sober.

Nighthawk8820

First of all, there is nothing "girly" about being being upset that you wrecked your car. I know some of the manliest men, and I can tell you, they would be horrified if they crashed their cars, as most people would. Being sensitive or emotional doesnt make you any less of a man, it actually shows you have depth and character and are a human being.

2 months isnt so bad. Can you get another little job to help with your income? Would it be cheaper to just get a different car? You can ask them to fix it just enough to make it drive-able, and then get the rest done when you have extra money. These are a few options. I also usually ask my higher power for guidance or to help things work out in these situations, and they usually do somehow. Congrats on your sobriety and not picking up that case of beer. You would have felt way worse, but instead, you made a great decision.

FreddyBear

Thanks for your replies, that helped a lot. I don't really count a face bruise from a safety balloon, not worth seeing a doc.

I have no insurance, so will have to fix it by myself. In fact it goes more than 2 months, as it only for external body parts repair and removal. Internal stuff will probably go for the same amount. I've heard that if there is no blood, there is nothing to worry about. However it's hard to not be frustrated. Even though it's not a fresh but older 2006 car, I loved it and spent a lot of time in my garage fine tuning, polishing and doing small repairs. A pretty big part of my life.

Beer was ALWAYS the answer and a quick fix if I was frustrated. But I know it leads me to more isolation and desperation, and it's a scary place. Will probably go out for a big tasty meal and a movie later today.

2granddaughters

Are you attending AA meetings in your area? Lots of direction and strength there.

I think the best stress reliever is working on the repair. Use your energy/resources to fix the problem, not fret about it.

All the best.

Bob R

Mountainmanbob

wiscsober

I am glad you aren't hurt.

For stress sometimes I sit straight up in a hardback chair....place both feet on the ground...place my hands on my knees....close my eyes and breathe 5 times inhaling/exhaling slowly but deeply....keeping the back straight and feet on the ground.

I'm glad you have SR....I hope you will find someone to talk with F2F...you could be a big help to someone....

Peace

Nuudawn

Ya the only thing "sissy" in this post is buddy's advice. Ya dude, go blackout temporarily and then face it a few hours later, poorer and hungover. Dumb huh? But hey, that's what been a coping mechanism..that really accomplishes nothing. It's why we addicts HAVE a low frustration tolerance..we have absolutely no emotional muscle whatsoever.
Good job posting here...best thing you could've done. You will get through this, just putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with each feeling, situation and decision as they arise. In this moment, yes you face a loss..but you're okay. Nevertheless it's completely understandable to be bummed out about it all!

P.S. I don't believe there was any blood in Princess Diana's car accident. I would go get self checked out by doctor.

doggonecarl

Be grateful you or nobody else was hurt. And carry that feeling of gratitude forward to another day sober.

ippochick

and remember with the cost of beer in Norway you would need that money for repairs! am glad you weren't hirt. hang in there.

MyTimeNow

I'm glad you are ok Freddy, and so glad it was a sober crash and nobody was hurt.

You're not being girly at all. I was involved in an accident about 6 years ago. A guy in a new shiny Mazda decided he did not need to stop at the STOP sign and plowed right into the side of me. Thankfully nobody was hurt either, but my car too was written off. Completely scrapped infact

Do you have any kind of insurance that will cover you? Is it viable to get it fixed or would it be worth selling and getting something cheaper?

You can come through this, it's a crappy thing to happen, but don't let it knock you off course.

Dee74

Some great advice here Freddy. I think ti's worthwhile to get yourself checked out anyway - that no blood rule is pretty silly really - it doesn't take into account a lot of life threatening internal injuries for example, or concussions...

Not saying you're gravely ill, but take care of yourself, hey?

D

Carlotta

Hi Freddy,

Well the great news is that you were sober and are not facing a DWI, you were not seriously hurt and you are still sober
If you were drinking, you'd be facing far worst than a totaled car.
As far as your "buddy" goes, that's what he is: just a buddy. A friend would have asked if you were ok and if you needed help fixing the car or with transportation.
I know it's stressful but hang in there and if you are in AA, go to your meetings. It's not wort drinking over.

SteveJr

I'm sorry to hear about your accident. I'm glad you're not hurt. Drinking won't help at all. The best thing is to be around people for support whether it be AA or SR.

Also, be grateful that you didn't seriously hurt or kill yourself or someone else and it's especially good you weren't drinking. Cars can be fixed/replaced, but lives are fragile and as bad as things get, they won't get any better drinking, if anything they would get worse.

This too shall pass. Give it time.

Anna

I hope you get checked out by a dr too, Freddy. And no need to apologize because you care about what happened. That's a good thing.

Zebra1275

Glad you are ok!

A case of beer is not going to fix your car. Stay strong.

escapist

I remember stress drinking. Making matters worse. I glad you're o.k.

You are already finding a way to pick up the pieces. If you were drinking you would be falling to pieces.

Veritas1

Even if this seems like a good excuse to drink, it's not.

There is no good excuse for us to get drunk.

Thank God, you are alright, and I hope you are able to restore your car soon.

FreddyBear

Thanks for all the good advice it this thread, it's helpful indeed. I should say that after a good night sleep everything seems not so bad. I was browsing a few sites and found some tips to decrease the bill, such as ordering used body parts, etc. The sun is shining and I'm not hungover (synonym for heavily depressed for me).

Will go to a doc in an hour and show him my blue face
And this blood rule is not literal. I've recently read a nice site written by a guy who gave up his bad habits and describing tools that helped him to stay quit.
On this page: My Reclaimed Life - Tools: Perspective he mentions we don't have to worry about non-life-threatening issues too much because they are not a big deal.