trikyriky

I read SR a lot ( except when I'm using ) . I've been doing a lot of reading / posting. Giving advice , getting advice. I am always at a crossroads , just... not... getting to the other side , yet. When I came here I was to the point that all addicts get too. I didn't enjoy it any more. Getting my ducks in a row is key. I've got you all , I've got NA, Ive got great family , I've got a job , I've got my health ( ). All I need is the other side. I need to follow my own advice

least

So go for it.

Mountainmanbob

Nuudawn

Your emotional honesty..your vulnerability..your kindness shines through in so many of your posts. I am reminded of part of quote I posted here the other day...

"the world has suffered while you've been hiding".

AnvilheadII

sounds like maybe the only missing is your commitment to not using again, ever, under any circumstances, period. in NA they call it having reservations, and they don't mean at the Holiday Inn!!! as long as we leave a door open, or a window, or an air vent, heat duct - the slightest crease, addiction will find it's way in.

no means no. and you either MEAN that, or you do not. just for today I will not use NO MATTER WHAT. not if it's free, not if it falls from the sky into my hand. and I will do whatever it takes to stay clean. I will go to any lengths.

we talk about being powerless....OVER the drugs. so we learn to take our power back and not LET the drugs rule us. we take them out of the equation. no longer an option.

once you do that, it actually gets a lot easier.

upandup

It's amazing how easily we can give advice, yet it is so difficult to following it ourself! The one thing we cannot do for anyone else is walk their path. Keep putting yourself in good situations, keep seeking support, ask for the will to stay stopped, keep accumulating clean time, keep at it!

Acheleus

Take the plunge into sobriety! SR has also helped me learn that I am not alone. We should feel lucky we have the good sense to get on here and help each other.

trikyriky

Thankful , yes it does work

Ptcapote

What NuuDawn and Anvil said, Ricky. For sure.

Glad you're hanging tough. You can totally do this.

Thinking of you always and sending you good vibes!

sugarbear1

Have an awesome sober day!!

With love & hugs,
~SB

trikyriky

This post , was to remind me . I need to listen to my rational self , I need a distraction . Today is my payday , my biggest obstacle. My AV is excited , I am not. The battle inside my head. I plan to go straight home after work , call someone , go to a meeting , the distraction. Why am I not conviced . Down AV , down. You want it , go get it yourself . I won't

Mountainmanbob

Nuudawn

Today is your payday...the day you are compensated for all your effort and hard work. It's interesting that your AV equates that with its reward day..it's payday for doing what? Poisoning and hurting you? Good plan making sure you HAVE a plan for after work. You need to buy yourself a reward for your SELF's hard work. Is there anything you want? Something for your house? A new shirt? a plant for your patio? a new book? Just something that tickles your fancy.

deeker

I already tried that approach.

trikyriky

Problem solved , no more advice from me , just words of encouragement. Till I follow it , can't give it. Shouldn't give it. True !!!!! I needed to be called out on this one. The ball is squarely in my court. C,mmon brain do the right thing

Shining~Again

^^ this. Yes. And if everyone shut up on giving their ESH till they reached the final goal, whatever that goal was, SR would be pretty quiet.

btw, I like your signature line.

Weasel1966

I never felt I was an addict drunk because of what I had. I also never stopped because I thought I was blessed or was lucky. I used because of something I did not have. Or actively see in myself. I never stopped for anyone no matter what. I only ever stopped for me.

The point is not that the advice you are not following isn't good. It's not want you need. Intelectualizong the act of not using is a good first step. You have that. You know the whys.

I understand you crossing over to be the emotional part of solving addiction. The deep seated value I place on myself... Or not.

I don't know how to cross over any more for you than for me. But I know that an element I have that you have not mentioned is a good therapist to deal with that emotional crossover. I found sharing at meeting and here is great but to lay any burden of my deep seated emotion on someone else tended to scare them off. A professional will work with you without worrying about them.

I believe in you Ricky. It not if its when with you. Just find that right combo of emotion and intellectual reasons and tools to stop.

ElegantlyWasted

Keep Walkin' the Talk. I know for me too; posting here helps keep my focus and a balanced perspective in general.

deeker

mecanix

For me the hardest part was the emotional pain and desperation caused by not drinking .
If some buddists can self-immolate and be calm i felt sure it was possible to not drink and be calm, to find peace and serenity inside .
It was possible and it got far easier the furthur i got from my last drink .

Good luck finding your way Ricky, try not to hang round the crossroads too much ( you're making me think of eric clapton )

Bestwishes, M