Is fun even possible without alcohol?
Sober Today
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 779
Is fun even possible without alcohol?
Please tell me it is.
I was thinking about our recent vacation to Disney World. We spent 8 days there, going to all of the parks. I had a difficult time enjoying myself while sober. I got bored easily, impatient, frustrated, and just kept looking for the beer stands. I got downright snappy with my husband at Magic Kingdom because I wanted a drink - it is basically a dry park (save one restaurant which he didn't want to go to).
Every day I'd find reasons for us to leave the park around noon so that I could go back to the resort and lounge at the pool, drinking long islands and beer while my kids and husband swam. I just layed there and drank. My husband started complaining about my $10 drinks, so we went on two beer runs while there. I woke up 6 days out of 8 with a hangover.
It's like this with everything. I get bored at Dave & Busters, bowling, the zoo, anywhere, within 10 minutes and want to drink.
Perhaps it is not boredom? Anyway, I just hope that one day I can enjoy fun activities without "needing" a drink to enjoy myself.
I was thinking about our recent vacation to Disney World. We spent 8 days there, going to all of the parks. I had a difficult time enjoying myself while sober. I got bored easily, impatient, frustrated, and just kept looking for the beer stands. I got downright snappy with my husband at Magic Kingdom because I wanted a drink - it is basically a dry park (save one restaurant which he didn't want to go to).
Every day I'd find reasons for us to leave the park around noon so that I could go back to the resort and lounge at the pool, drinking long islands and beer while my kids and husband swam. I just layed there and drank. My husband started complaining about my $10 drinks, so we went on two beer runs while there. I woke up 6 days out of 8 with a hangover.
It's like this with everything. I get bored at Dave & Busters, bowling, the zoo, anywhere, within 10 minutes and want to drink.
Perhaps it is not boredom? Anyway, I just hope that one day I can enjoy fun activities without "needing" a drink to enjoy myself.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
What you are feeling isn't boredom, it's the dissatisfaction of your addiction clammering for a fix.
By the time we've logged on a sobriety web site and vowed to quit drinking, we are past needed a reason to drink. We may latch onto an excuse like boredom. But I bet you drink on many different occasions...not just "boring" ones. And Disney World isn't boring. An alcoholic's life that centers around drinking is boring.
It gets better. Stay sober. That dissatisfaction with life will get better with recovery. You notice I didn't say when you quit drinking. You can quit drinking and be unhappy. It means you aren't recovering from alcoholism yet.
By the time we've logged on a sobriety web site and vowed to quit drinking, we are past needed a reason to drink. We may latch onto an excuse like boredom. But I bet you drink on many different occasions...not just "boring" ones. And Disney World isn't boring. An alcoholic's life that centers around drinking is boring.
It gets better. Stay sober. That dissatisfaction with life will get better with recovery. You notice I didn't say when you quit drinking. You can quit drinking and be unhappy. It means you aren't recovering from alcoholism yet.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
I think part of the problem is the hangover, it's a vicious circle. You can't enjoy your self because you're hungover, withdrawals are kicking in, tired, irritable, you want another drink to feel 'normal' then of course end up drinking more and so it goes on. I'm talking about 'you' in a general sense. Well, I'm probably talking about me really! I can see where you are coming from. I'm sure once the cycle is broken there is a lot of fun to be had. Otherwise nobody would be at the park right? They'd all be at the bar.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Of course you can have fun without alcohol. Sobriety takes time, and with time hopefully you will begin to see that life is more enjoyable. When we are adjusted to alcohol saturation, life in the beginning can seem dull to some people. I think the reason that Disney World was not so enjoyable was because you were actively drinking, and your addiction was in control. With the gift of time, you can start to create new memories and have fun while doing it. Keep going. You are worth it.
Sober Today
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 779
Oh, yes, I know these things are fun for normal people. For me, I'm just preoccupied with getting a drink in me.
I've been drinking for 27 years in order to enjoy myself, so sober fun is a foreign concept to me.
I've been drinking for 27 years in order to enjoy myself, so sober fun is a foreign concept to me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Yes, you can have fun without alcohol.
Right now you feel like a kid that can't have that candy bar. You are getting more and more angry that you can't have it to the point that even fun activites do not appear fun because you are so fixated on that candy bar.
I would look into more recovery activities. I know you are starting to go to AA and that is good. Have you picked up a Big Book yet? If not they have it online for free. Either way, start reading it. I think you need to get familiar with why you drink.
The more you do that the less you will fixate on alcohol and more on your recovery.
Right now you feel like a kid that can't have that candy bar. You are getting more and more angry that you can't have it to the point that even fun activites do not appear fun because you are so fixated on that candy bar.
I would look into more recovery activities. I know you are starting to go to AA and that is good. Have you picked up a Big Book yet? If not they have it online for free. Either way, start reading it. I think you need to get familiar with why you drink.
The more you do that the less you will fixate on alcohol and more on your recovery.
sunshinescooby
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 212
Originally Posted by GracieLou 
Yes, you can have fun without alcohol.
Right now you feel like a kid that can't have that candy bar. You are getting more and more angry that you can't have it to the point that even fun activites do not appear fun because you are so fixated on that candy bar.
.
Right now you feel like a kid that can't have that candy bar. You are getting more and more angry that you can't have it to the point that even fun activites do not appear fun because you are so fixated on that candy bar.
.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
You can definitely have fun while sober, I didn't think I would ever have any fun again (as ridiculous as that sounds to me now) when I was drinking sober meant boring to me. I thought I would have to give up everything I liked like traveling, evenings out, going to watch music because it all revolved around drinking and my day would often be planned out around it too. Its really not true that sobriety is no fun it just takes time, I went on holiday for the first time last week since I stopped drinking 8 months ago and I had a lovely time doing all the things I used to do, being in the sun, relaxing, reading minus the terrible hangovers, feeling like I couldn't be bothered to do anything and the blazing rows that used to go along with it. I got up every day felt fresh and clear headed, fell straight to sleep at night, did lots of walking, reading, sunbathing, all the same things minus the booze and it was brilliant. I never thought id do that again, but I have and it was great. You just have to adapt, I now couldn't imagine anything more boring than staring into the bottom of a glass, just the thought of it depresses me!.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Fun is definitely possible without alcohol. It takes some time sober to fully experience it though because for awhile all you can think about is not drinking. I don't think you've been bored, I think it's been your addiction causing you dissatisfaction. If you can clear your head of alcohol for awhile, things become fun again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I remember feeling that way first with weed, then with alcohol. I was stoned just about 24/7 in my early drinking days, and I remember the distinct feeling that if you took the pot away from me, everything instantly went from color to black and white. Took a while smoke free for the color to come back in, but it did... and then alcohol eventually did it's job of washing ALL the color out of my life. Even the white. I was left with black, and nothing more.
When I got sober I really believed the fun in life was done. The only reason I got sober was because I couldn't function at all anymore. I had no choice. I either had to stop drinking, do things differently, or kill myself. Really felt I had no other options.
Anything and everything I did involved drinking. Bowling meant drinking. Fishing meant drinking. Vacations meant drinking even more. Movies meant a bottle in my sock, and drinking. Going out to eat, drinking, hanging out with friends, drinking.... anything and everything involved drinking. Or I had no interest in doing it. And when I first put down the drink, I didn't want to do anything.
That's what alcohol does. Makes itself number one. Nothing else matters, nothing else is fun, nothing else motivates us but the substance that steals every other joy out of our lives, makes us and everyone around us miserable, and eventually either lands us in an institution or dead. Sometimes it takes others along with us.
Not drinking any more and enjoying life isn't easy. If it were this forum wouldn't exist, nor would AA or all the other methods available to help someone stop. But not drinking and enjoying life more than ever before is completely possibly, so long as someone has desire and willingness enough to do it. It doesn't happen overnight either, but it happens. For me, AA and the 12 steps were the answer - others get help eslewhere.
Drinking became my life, and my only joy. Today I enjoy tons of stuff and it's only in hindsight that I can clearly see alcohol for the demon it really was. You give a perfect example yourself with having more fun sitting by a pool getting drunk, than being in disneyworld with your family. From a sober perspective, that really sad. Especially to me, since I love disney world.
There is definitely life, and lots of fun after the alcohol is gone. But we need to be willing to change.
When I got sober I really believed the fun in life was done. The only reason I got sober was because I couldn't function at all anymore. I had no choice. I either had to stop drinking, do things differently, or kill myself. Really felt I had no other options.
Anything and everything I did involved drinking. Bowling meant drinking. Fishing meant drinking. Vacations meant drinking even more. Movies meant a bottle in my sock, and drinking. Going out to eat, drinking, hanging out with friends, drinking.... anything and everything involved drinking. Or I had no interest in doing it. And when I first put down the drink, I didn't want to do anything.
That's what alcohol does. Makes itself number one. Nothing else matters, nothing else is fun, nothing else motivates us but the substance that steals every other joy out of our lives, makes us and everyone around us miserable, and eventually either lands us in an institution or dead. Sometimes it takes others along with us.
Not drinking any more and enjoying life isn't easy. If it were this forum wouldn't exist, nor would AA or all the other methods available to help someone stop. But not drinking and enjoying life more than ever before is completely possibly, so long as someone has desire and willingness enough to do it. It doesn't happen overnight either, but it happens. For me, AA and the 12 steps were the answer - others get help eslewhere.
Drinking became my life, and my only joy. Today I enjoy tons of stuff and it's only in hindsight that I can clearly see alcohol for the demon it really was. You give a perfect example yourself with having more fun sitting by a pool getting drunk, than being in disneyworld with your family. From a sober perspective, that really sad. Especially to me, since I love disney world.
There is definitely life, and lots of fun after the alcohol is gone. But we need to be willing to change.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
I have soooo much more fun in sobriety. Real belly laughter& funny conversations. The first 2 months sober weren't so fun as I had to physically and mentally adjust to life without alcohol. Now I'm present to be able to enjoy the company of my loved ones & attend events rather than sitting home drinking in solitude. It's all worth it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
I often wonder the same thing myself. I've adjusted to sober life and never, ever want to go back to where I came from (daily drinking pretty much) but I'm starting to hit bumps in the road. For example, all of my travel for the last 5 years was booze fueled. I went to some fantastic places and had some of the best times of my life, but drinking was a big part of every jaunt.
Friends I previously traveled with have asked me to go various places since I got sober and I've declined every time. I simply cannot imagine being with those friends in drinking environments and not being miserable and angry because I cannot drink too. It is sad to me in a way but oddly liberating at the same time. I've chosen a sober life over a drunken one and with that choice comes some challenges.
I do hope, in time, that I will enjoy previously fun activities as a sober person. But the hard truth is I will have to do it with sober people. My past travel buddies are not sober and frankly, when I even talk to them on the phone if they have been drinking I'm annoyed. Apparently, I don't like drunk people. Lol! So crazy since I was one for so long but the slurring, idiocy, obvious effort to not sound drunk and the stupid word choices of those conversations are just irritating. I do still enjoy talking with these people when they are sober though.
Ugh...living sober really is the hardest part, isn't it? I'm still finding my way to happy but it sure is better than killing myself slowly with booze.
Friends I previously traveled with have asked me to go various places since I got sober and I've declined every time. I simply cannot imagine being with those friends in drinking environments and not being miserable and angry because I cannot drink too. It is sad to me in a way but oddly liberating at the same time. I've chosen a sober life over a drunken one and with that choice comes some challenges.
I do hope, in time, that I will enjoy previously fun activities as a sober person. But the hard truth is I will have to do it with sober people. My past travel buddies are not sober and frankly, when I even talk to them on the phone if they have been drinking I'm annoyed. Apparently, I don't like drunk people. Lol! So crazy since I was one for so long but the slurring, idiocy, obvious effort to not sound drunk and the stupid word choices of those conversations are just irritating. I do still enjoy talking with these people when they are sober though.
Ugh...living sober really is the hardest part, isn't it? I'm still finding my way to happy but it sure is better than killing myself slowly with booze.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Everything is different for me. Fun is kind of a relative term too, i'm still learning how to just deal with everyday life sober. I do try to take time each day to appreciate the little things that I would have never noticed before. Like how the air smells in the morning when my sinuses aren't completely fried from a night of bad sleep and my body doesn't reek of alcohol. Or little things my kids say that I would have completely missed becasue I was buzzed or on my way to have another beer.
There are entire segments of our society that live their entire lives without ever touching a drop of alcohol and they seem to be getting along just fine. We just need to learn how to function normally again...and it takes time.
There are entire segments of our society that live their entire lives without ever touching a drop of alcohol and they seem to be getting along just fine. We just need to learn how to function normally again...and it takes time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 80
Your addicted part of your brain, the part that craves alcohol over everything, is deceiving the real you into thinking that you need another drink and that nothing can be fun without it. I find it interesting that you mentioned bowling in your list of things that your brain is telling you that you can have fun doing without alcohol. My brain tried telling me the same thing.
I actually sat down and told myself out loud that I am never drinking again, never ever again! I sat back and listened to what my brain was telling me and one of the things was that I could never have fun bowling without drinking! After writing this long list of reasons why my brain thought I should continue to drink, I went over them one by one to analyze whether those were my real thought, was that really me and my thinking, or was it this addicted part of my brain just trying to deceive me to get me to drink forever.
I specifically remember when I got the "can't have fun bowling without drinking" part, I laughed... basically because it was so obvious how stupid that sounds. I might go bowl a game once in every 5 years - so my brain thinks I should keep constantly drinking in case I do go bowling? I could immediately see the deception.
Also, I thought back to times when I had gone bowling as a kid and a teenager and I remembered that I had plenty of fun! Clearly, I did not need alcohol to have fun while bowling, therefore I knew this was a lie my brain was telling me and that this was not my real thoughts on the subject.
When you recognize that you have an addicted part of your brain that just craves alcohol above anything else, and when you recognize that that voice is telling you a bunch of crap to deceive you into drinking, you can then stop listening to it. You will know that YOU don't want a drink. YOU do not want a drink and no one can make you have one.
Lots of love to you
I actually sat down and told myself out loud that I am never drinking again, never ever again! I sat back and listened to what my brain was telling me and one of the things was that I could never have fun bowling without drinking! After writing this long list of reasons why my brain thought I should continue to drink, I went over them one by one to analyze whether those were my real thought, was that really me and my thinking, or was it this addicted part of my brain just trying to deceive me to get me to drink forever.
I specifically remember when I got the "can't have fun bowling without drinking" part, I laughed... basically because it was so obvious how stupid that sounds. I might go bowl a game once in every 5 years - so my brain thinks I should keep constantly drinking in case I do go bowling? I could immediately see the deception.
Also, I thought back to times when I had gone bowling as a kid and a teenager and I remembered that I had plenty of fun! Clearly, I did not need alcohol to have fun while bowling, therefore I knew this was a lie my brain was telling me and that this was not my real thoughts on the subject.
When you recognize that you have an addicted part of your brain that just craves alcohol above anything else, and when you recognize that that voice is telling you a bunch of crap to deceive you into drinking, you can then stop listening to it. You will know that YOU don't want a drink. YOU do not want a drink and no one can make you have one.
Lots of love to you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
I know one thing, and know it very well indeed. Becoming addicted to alcohol is not "fun". Just the opposite. It's a form of chemical slavery and the very opposite of "fun". The idea that it's "fun" is a product of social conditioning, infinitely amplified by the primitive part of the brain which seeks to perpetuate the intake of alcohol. "Fun" it ain't! If you don't believe that just wait and see! Eventually it will take away everything you have and suck out every ounce of pleasure from your life.
W.
W.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I can't even wrap my head around being drunk at Disney. The heat, the crowds, the lines, jonesing when it starts to wear off. I imagine it would be constant heart pounding, anxiety, etc waiting for my next fix.
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