Sally3127

I'm having a rough time recently with my AA home group. It is a "club" that is open almost 24/7 which is very good for many. The problem is there are a lot of people who hang out there because it is safe but whst tends to happen is a lot of drama can occur. What is tough for me is that my sponsor has become embroiled in some drama and gossip. I feel that I might benefit going to a new group but feel conflicted and not sure how to tell my sponsor. I also don't want to confide in other members because of the gossip. It's a real sticky situation. I know my sobriety comes first. Any advice? Thanks. BTW, I'm 8 months sober. Yea me!

Sazzle

Hey Sally. I'm 8 months sober too and tonight went to a new meeting, which will become my home group. It was fantastic, upbeat & supportive. Your sponsor doesn't have to be one from your home group and you can go to any meetings you like. A recent experience for me meant that I had to deeply consider how much 'power' and weight I give to a single person. I've found a sponsor who resonates with me now and, as far as I can tell, has similar values to me. It's our 1st year of sobriety & I believe strongly in guarding that selfishly and doing everything in our power to do what works for us. You could just simply tell her that it isn't working out for you. No need to give reasons or over explain, just be polite and courteous.

All the best! & congrats on 8 months

S x

BadCompany

Move on. Clubhouses are a great idea, but too many end up just like that. I drive right past a clubhouse that is less than a mile from my home and go to a group that is 15 miles away.

awuh1

Groups are groups and clubs are clubs. Sounds like a violation of the tradition 6. There is good reason to exit the drama. I would, and ASAP.

Sally3127

Thank you everyone. You all just confirmed what I have really known and that is to move on. There are a ton of wonderful groups where I live. I tend to not want to get out of my comfort zone but I can't let that hold me back. I'm actually excited now! Thanks again.

Soberpotamus

Sally, I'd gotten stuck at a clubhouse group and have been wondering about other groups... reading your post has given me inspiration to go try out some others The clubhouse here is beginning to grate on my nerves...

Sally3127

Good deal Jennie. We can report back to one another how our new meetings went. I know there is a lot of ESH out there and it is not confined to just one club.

GreenEggsAndHam

If you dont mind me asking, what is the difference between a clubhouse and a regular group?

quitforme79

First, congrats on 8 months! I am almost there myself So glad you brought this up because after a few months of sobriety I started noticing the same thing about the recovery club I go to. I do like some of the meetings there so I still go but I only chat briefly after the meetings with the people I have become close with and then leave. I guess there can be drama at any meeting but clubs set more of a stage for it because people hang around more. Don't feel bad talking to your sponser...you never know, you may help her to see the drama she is getting involved in. But still, yes, you first!

Grungehead

My sponsor doesn't even have a home group. He does have meetings he rarely misses though and does service work for those groups. We also have a club here and drama and cliques are not uncommon. I go to one meeting a week there and it's at 10PM so the only people there are there for that meeting.

If you like your sponsor you can keep her but not go to meetings at that club. Really there are no rules concerning sponsors and sponsees. I would do what makes you most comfortable. Personally I see my sponsor once a week for an hour or so of one on one time and I see him at one meeting a week. He is available if I need more than that but he's not the kind of guy who insists on calling him everyday (and I'm not the kind of guy who wants to have to check in everyday).

Nuudawn

I read something somewhere recently..don't remember where but it was regarding Bill W. himself and how many sponsors he went through. He would meet someone who possessed a value or quality he found attractive or wanted to emulate and he would switch to that person.

If Bill can...pretty sure you can. Glad to hear you are motivated and excited to do what's right for you!