Ludo

After not being sober for longer than 2 days in a year I'm giving it another go....

Normally drink a bottle + of wine a night, wake up in the morning thinking "oh no, not again. Hilariously I often watch recovery / addiction programmes on YouTube on my iPad on the bedside table when I wake up sweating at 5am vowing I will act differently today. Usually by the time I'm washing up after breakfast the 2 Prozac have kicked in and I'm feeling better enough to dismiss the whole worry / concerns, convince myself it's normal and already know I'm going to do it all over again that evening. And the circle continues......

STOP THE RIDE I WANT TO GET OFF!!!



So this morning in my 30 seconds of clear thinking I nipped downstairs and poured 3 bottles of wine down the sink, mourning them as I watched them disappearing down the plug hole....

Now end of day 1, I've joined this website, I'm drinking lime and eating ice pops. I know it's going to get harder before it gets easier. My only experience of sobriety apart from 2 pregnancies was September last year when I joined AA and did brilliantly for a month. But I visited my sister who told me she was exactly the same and we came from a family of drinkers and we just needed to stop the excessive drinking and be normal. Oh how I wish that could be true...

Thanks for reading if you have, will update again soon x

Pondlady

Welcome Ludo,
I too was a wine drinker. I stopped drinking in the summer of 2011, only to restart at a dinner party when a friend told me I didn't have a drinking problem......this from a woman who brought her OWN BOTTLE OF GIN TO THE PARTY!!!! I then tried moderation, but found I'd resumed daily drinking by the following year I stopped drinking all alcohol last summer.....and found it much easier than moderating.

You've come to the right place......we understand

LadyinBC

Welcome to SR!

Good for you! The one thing I could never do was pour it away.

I was happy to get off the ride. I couldn't take it anymore.

You will get lots of support and help here.

Bird82

Hi ludo welcome to SR I joined a few days ago after being a long time drinker, sometimes I don't drink every night but when I do...I do not stop, I don't know how to. I'm doing AA, first meeting was Sunday night and I plan on going again next week. I'm told on here take one day at a time and that's that I'm doing. Hve not drunk tonight, it's day 1 for me. Yu will find alot of support on here. Good luck, and when you feel like a drink, post, eat, read, anything. Just don't drink!!! Xx

Michael66

Hey there Ludo

It's a great day for giving up

It sounds like you were doing well in AA until your sister gave you a different message. Might it be worth going back?

God bless +

Michael

Ludo

Thanks all, it's GREAT to have support so quickly, now that was quicker than even the effects of the first glass of wine, lol ! Sorry too soon to make jokes I know!

AA really helped me but it did kind of take over any free time I had as I live rurally and have to travel to meetings a fair way. I'm thinking about online meetings, anyone got any experience?

: )

hayley86

Hi Ludo, Glad you are here, its great that you are making changes.

Michael66

No experience of them Ludo but google "in the rooms". They have video meetings and some are at good times for the UK.

LadyinBC

Actually they do have chat meetings here Tuesday and Fridays. Look in the chat forum and it will give you the time they start. There is one tonight at 6:00 pm Pacific time.

tootsl1

Lido, you are going to need that sense of humour, so keep it handy! No one will tell you this is going to be easy, but anyone, no, Everyone will tell you that it is worth it

I wish you luck my friend ( and check out some of the humourous threads here, it'll distract you at the very least! )

Hevyn

Pleased to meet you, Ludo. You have a great attitude. I think it'll really help you to be here with us. Glad you joined the family.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Ludo

D

ersatzmatriarch

welcome, ludo!

SR is fantastic for support and encouragement. we're happy to have you here.

well done on pouring those bottles!

Bubovski

I always had trouble over the "moderate drinking" issue; was it 3,4.... maybe even 5 a day and occasionally a bit more?
Its a pity I didn't realise I suffered an obsession or illness of sorts much earlier into my varied drinking of over 50 years, and all the addictive crap that occurred over that time.
Now its AA,one day at a time, genuine friends, and a bit of humility for this old sot.

Ludo

Groundhog Day.....


Afraid that one only lasted a day or two, have now just spent the whole summer holidays drinking, drinking, drinking.... Buying 6 bottles of wine from Tescos because you get a discount, kidding myself it will last... Errr a week, if I'm lucky...

I even got caught shoplifting when I got 3 boxes of wine and only scanned 2, got away with it as a mistake and paid but I wonder if my sweating and hungover state made them realise I was an alcoholic? It was probably only the fact that I had my 3 year old with me and that I was spending £150 made them not call the police. God how low, I just wanted more, more, more...

Finally managed to pour away / give away everything except a bottle of red wine which I drank / chucked the last of last night.

Today I feel relieved its gone, I feel free already and strangely optimistic that maybe this time will work...

Am going to a live comedy night on Friday where we were going to stay the night in the pub opposite, s@d that, have volunteered to drive and I will drink diet coke and smoke fags in the interval, am ok with that.

Fast forward the weekend after and my husband is going away for 3 nights to a funeral up north and leaving me with the kids.

I am nervous because in the past any time on my own I would be planning a binge already, setting the scene, buying the wine, the snacks, stashing it away and looking forward to it like Christmas : ( am going to have to be strong and plan a different strategy...

Anyway, the title of the original post still stands, day one almost done, lets hope it leads to day two....

misspond

Hey Ludo, good to see you back again (I mean that in a positive for you way ). Plan something different for when your husband is away. I'm a single mum with two kids and used to look forward to the kids going to bed so that I could have my treats. I still have them, they're just different treats now Good luck and keep posting. x

CuteNGayYay

You can do it!!

Bird82

One day at at time ludo. If it helps....I was like you, not too long ago...maybe a few weeks. Wine was my devil...evil , I loved it. But it didn't love me and I wanted to be a better person, a better mum, wife, friend......everything, I just wanted to be better. And slowly does it. I haven't counted days...for me I just keep going and going and going and try not to look back. I have been sober for a few weeks now and I have lost weight and gained some respect from my husband. I do still enjou the odd cider....but I do not get drunk, I have managd to shake my addiction of wine And am looking in from another place. It is A better place. Good luck to you.....you CAN do this.
The first rule is to have NO alcohol in the house. Drink tea, juice, schloer,..anything. And read....or come on here.

The support is here....xxx

Enough100

I wasn't sober more than 5 days for 20 plus years. I woke-up with an ache in my side (liver), indigestion (bile), a raging headache, the shakes, etc. I drank at least a fifth of vodka every day! I remember it clearly, too. I took a shower, promptly threw-up in the shower, struggled all day and then I said to myself, "This is the stupidest thing you've ever done." For me, sobriety started that day...

Ludo

Thanks everyone, yes I wake up with pains in my sides, have terrible heartburn, sweat uncontrollably first thing in the morning, I dread seeing people I know before midday as I know I'm a state, I start to sober up around lunchtime, I must be DUI as they say in the States every morning just from the night before... God it's **** isn't it, but why is alcohol everywhere and why is everyone drinking it without a problem : ((((( also I used to hate people that didn't drink,I actively avoided them on nights out, they were dull, of course I on the other hand slurring my words, falling over, being overly affectionate / deep with people must have been everyone's favourite... NOT!