Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Greensboro
Posts: 1
Hello
Stating the obvious, I am new here. My partner is currently in AA and I like what it seems to be doing in helping her grow into the person she wants to be in sobriety.
Since 2000, I've pretty much been going strong on one substance or another. In that timeframe, I've put myself in the ER one from too much alcohol (.34 BAC), and later that year I got my first DWI. I got a second in 2010, and just got the ignition interlock removed from my car last month, so all the penalties are complete. In lieu of jail-time, I attended a 7-day stint at a local rehab center. It was educational, to say the least.
Overall, I am not sure that I am a text-book addict. I've never HAD to have a substance. I just chose them over the alternative of being sober. A vacation of sorts. Burying feelings, or prodding them to the surface by chemical release, instead of finding healthy means to do so in a less chaotic setting. Substance abuser, most definitely. I have mental health issues which are being addressed, so the self-medication has declined dramatically. Hopefully you can detect a little sarcasm here regarding my prior years denial.
I have been sober the same amount of days that my partner has been sober, since she restarted her sobriety steps in AA, which is about 4-5 months, I believe. I feel better not being foggy-headed from that all the time.
She still points out that I have addict-like behaviors, just in how I interact with the world, so I'm here to hopefully learn some things and to hopefully sort out whether an NA or AA program would be of benefit for me outside of my education on the internet. I need some sort of social outlet, as I have isolated myself quite a bit in the last few years, weeding out "friends" that are, too, substance abusers. I need sober friends with goals other than where the next party is at. I really need a friend and have no idea how to go about doing that outside of a bar setting, which is unhealthy and depressing.
If you have any pointers about whether a program would benefit, I'm all ears. I don't think I want to be attending the same meetings as my partner, as I think she should do her thing and I should do mine. While our abuse has been intertwined in the past, they are not exclusive. Both go back many many years in our own destructive paths.
I look forward to talking with folks here and learning from those who have walked the sober path for longer than I have.
Cheers,
kat
Since 2000, I've pretty much been going strong on one substance or another. In that timeframe, I've put myself in the ER one from too much alcohol (.34 BAC), and later that year I got my first DWI. I got a second in 2010, and just got the ignition interlock removed from my car last month, so all the penalties are complete. In lieu of jail-time, I attended a 7-day stint at a local rehab center. It was educational, to say the least.
Overall, I am not sure that I am a text-book addict. I've never HAD to have a substance. I just chose them over the alternative of being sober. A vacation of sorts. Burying feelings, or prodding them to the surface by chemical release, instead of finding healthy means to do so in a less chaotic setting. Substance abuser, most definitely. I have mental health issues which are being addressed, so the self-medication has declined dramatically. Hopefully you can detect a little sarcasm here regarding my prior years denial.
I have been sober the same amount of days that my partner has been sober, since she restarted her sobriety steps in AA, which is about 4-5 months, I believe. I feel better not being foggy-headed from that all the time.
She still points out that I have addict-like behaviors, just in how I interact with the world, so I'm here to hopefully learn some things and to hopefully sort out whether an NA or AA program would be of benefit for me outside of my education on the internet. I need some sort of social outlet, as I have isolated myself quite a bit in the last few years, weeding out "friends" that are, too, substance abusers. I need sober friends with goals other than where the next party is at. I really need a friend and have no idea how to go about doing that outside of a bar setting, which is unhealthy and depressing.
If you have any pointers about whether a program would benefit, I'm all ears. I don't think I want to be attending the same meetings as my partner, as I think she should do her thing and I should do mine. While our abuse has been intertwined in the past, they are not exclusive. Both go back many many years in our own destructive paths.
I look forward to talking with folks here and learning from those who have walked the sober path for longer than I have.
Cheers,
kat
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Kat and welcome.
Would your partner be willing to take you to a few meetings, just as a visitor, so you can have a listen and see if you identify? You don't have to say anything or make any admissions. It would be just a bit of research to see if the alcoholic hat fits.
Would your partner be willing to take you to a few meetings, just as a visitor, so you can have a listen and see if you identify? You don't have to say anything or make any admissions. It would be just a bit of research to see if the alcoholic hat fits.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 434
Hi Kat, welcome to SR. This is a great forum for support and encouragement. It's helped me a great deal in staying solid in my commitment to sobriety. I haven't actually used any of the programs such as AA, as I'm doing it on my own combined with a lot of SR reading, so I wouldn't be able to give a good recommendation on experience. I know others will have great feedback for that. Glad you are here Kat, SR is a great place.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi Kat - welcome 
I think we can get really caught up in semantics - I'm sure many people here will say they didn't NEED a drug but preferred it to reality...a way of dealing with feelings, or tough situations.
To my mind, that *is* pretty textbook - psychological addiction can be every bit as powerful as physical - but it really doesn't matter what I think.
What does matter is if your use is/was causing problems...the obvious thing to do is stop
you'll find a lot of support here to do that
D
I think we can get really caught up in semantics - I'm sure many people here will say they didn't NEED a drug but preferred it to reality...a way of dealing with feelings, or tough situations.
To my mind, that *is* pretty textbook - psychological addiction can be every bit as powerful as physical - but it really doesn't matter what I think.
What does matter is if your use is/was causing problems...the obvious thing to do is stop
you'll find a lot of support here to do that
D
to our family! 
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