Anger Anger Anger
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 175
Anger Anger Anger
Hello all.
I am curious how you feel towards your A spouses??? I could explode with hate and anger.He speaks and my body shivers, he touches me and it is like needles. I don't even care if he is passed out I look at it as a "good" time in my day. I don't have to be around him. I only pray to God he does not hurt anyone while he is away from the house( like driving) Have I reached the end.....?
Just needing to sound off tonight....feeling very angry..............Kitty
I am curious how you feel towards your A spouses??? I could explode with hate and anger.He speaks and my body shivers, he touches me and it is like needles. I don't even care if he is passed out I look at it as a "good" time in my day. I don't have to be around him. I only pray to God he does not hurt anyone while he is away from the house( like driving) Have I reached the end.....?
Just needing to sound off tonight....feeling very angry..............Kitty
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
HI Kitty!
You sound like me right before Dino had to move. If he had stayed here, one of us would have gotten seriously hurt. Either I would have tried to kill him or jumped off the Humana building.
Just a hunch, but you might need a vacation from him. Whether or not it's permanent you can decide whenever.
Hugs!
Smoke
You sound like me right before Dino had to move. If he had stayed here, one of us would have gotten seriously hurt. Either I would have tried to kill him or jumped off the Humana building.
Just a hunch, but you might need a vacation from him. Whether or not it's permanent you can decide whenever.
Hugs!
Smoke
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 175
Hi Kitty,
I have been separated from my husband a little over 1 1/2 years but he is still in my life just about daily. I felt and still feel as you do. My husband is in recovery and hasn't drank in 26 days. I am very proud of him for deciding to quit drinking however, it might be a little too late.
I couldn't stand living with him any longer. The sight of him use to make me so angry that I too thought I was going to explode. I was depressed and angry feeling all of the time. I couldn't stand having sex with him. I tried to avoid it at all cost and that was different for me because that aspect of our life was great at one time. He use to be the center of my universe at one time but he killed it. Now, he doesn't understand because all of sudden he's sorry for all the pain he's caused and because he say's he's sorry everything is supposed to be all better now. Well, I'm sorry it just doesn't work that way. I can't turn my feelings on and off like a light switch.
For the longest time I thought that every thing would go back to normal and we would be happy if only he would quit drinking. Now that he's quit drinking it's not like that. Even now sometimes I can't stand the sight of him and when he touches me it's like pins sticking in me, I cringe. Eventhough I have forgiven him for all the hurtfull things I haven't forgotten the pain I felt. I went through 2 pregnancies all by myself while he was out at bars til 2 or 3 am. That's supposed to be one of the most special times of your life but not for me it was like living a nightmare.
I'm starting to realize that once it reaches the point of hating the touch and sight of someone then it's beyond the point of no return but that's just my opinion.
Maybe what you need is to go away for the weekend with some of your girlfriends. You need some time to your self to think and help put things in perspective. I've made plans to go to the beach next month with 5 of my girlfriends. I can't wait. It's much needed.
Take care of yourself and have a wonderful day!!!!
Galnva
I have been separated from my husband a little over 1 1/2 years but he is still in my life just about daily. I felt and still feel as you do. My husband is in recovery and hasn't drank in 26 days. I am very proud of him for deciding to quit drinking however, it might be a little too late.
I couldn't stand living with him any longer. The sight of him use to make me so angry that I too thought I was going to explode. I was depressed and angry feeling all of the time. I couldn't stand having sex with him. I tried to avoid it at all cost and that was different for me because that aspect of our life was great at one time. He use to be the center of my universe at one time but he killed it. Now, he doesn't understand because all of sudden he's sorry for all the pain he's caused and because he say's he's sorry everything is supposed to be all better now. Well, I'm sorry it just doesn't work that way. I can't turn my feelings on and off like a light switch.
For the longest time I thought that every thing would go back to normal and we would be happy if only he would quit drinking. Now that he's quit drinking it's not like that. Even now sometimes I can't stand the sight of him and when he touches me it's like pins sticking in me, I cringe. Eventhough I have forgiven him for all the hurtfull things I haven't forgotten the pain I felt. I went through 2 pregnancies all by myself while he was out at bars til 2 or 3 am. That's supposed to be one of the most special times of your life but not for me it was like living a nightmare.
I'm starting to realize that once it reaches the point of hating the touch and sight of someone then it's beyond the point of no return but that's just my opinion.
Maybe what you need is to go away for the weekend with some of your girlfriends. You need some time to your self to think and help put things in perspective. I've made plans to go to the beach next month with 5 of my girlfriends. I can't wait. It's much needed.
Take care of yourself and have a wonderful day!!!!
Galnva
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Peoria, IL USA
Posts: 105
nva- are you sure your not me posting under a different name? LOL Cheez you are telling my story all the time. I am getting away this weekend with the girls to Chi-town.
-The one about not being able to stand the way they chew their food is sooo true also.
-The one about not being able to stand the way they chew their food is sooo true also.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Hi,
...or slurp their cereal...or blow their nose. Been There!
Honestly tho...all that pent up ANGER is not a good thing. At one time (my son an A, and my husband an A) it got so bad that I took a night job! It was almost like divorcing them both...and it bought me time. And today I am still married and the son is out there fighting his own battle with alcohol and drugs. Not to say that you should stay...that was my solution to a totally intolerable situation. And come to think of it...the job ( I am aways reading want ads) just kind of appeared...and it felt so right and in hindsite it was the best thing I could have done at the time.
So maybe if you keep your eyes and ears open your solution will come. And find a meeting!
Take what you like,
Paula
...or slurp their cereal...or blow their nose. Been There!
Honestly tho...all that pent up ANGER is not a good thing. At one time (my son an A, and my husband an A) it got so bad that I took a night job! It was almost like divorcing them both...and it bought me time. And today I am still married and the son is out there fighting his own battle with alcohol and drugs. Not to say that you should stay...that was my solution to a totally intolerable situation. And come to think of it...the job ( I am aways reading want ads) just kind of appeared...and it felt so right and in hindsite it was the best thing I could have done at the time.
So maybe if you keep your eyes and ears open your solution will come. And find a meeting!
Take what you like,
Paula
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 7
Originally posted by Morning Glory:
I know I've reached the end when I can't stand how they chew thier food.
Morning Glory
I know I've reached the end when I can't stand how they chew thier food.
Morning Glory
You had me cracking up with your comment. I was not expecting it. I didn't think we could find humor in all this stuff. Thanks!
Gipsee2002
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