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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Limerick, PA
Posts: 1
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I'm new to this site and looking for insight to my life. My husband is a functional alcoholic, he is retired and is well into several drinks by the time I get home from work daily. Within 2 hours he has drank enough to pass out on the couch and not be able to walk right or converse with me. He is doing this on the weekends also.
He thinks he hasn't a problem, because he can still do the grocery shopping and cook dinner. Otherwise, he doesn't do much, but sit on the couch and watch tv all day. I'm at wits end and need to tell him this is not acceptable to me - don't want to give ultimatums, but things definitely need to change.
He thinks he hasn't a problem, because he can still do the grocery shopping and cook dinner. Otherwise, he doesn't do much, but sit on the couch and watch tv all day. I'm at wits end and need to tell him this is not acceptable to me - don't want to give ultimatums, but things definitely need to change.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,320
Hi SSB
I know you'll find a lot of support here in Newcomers
Why not tell him straight - you're at your wits end and you don't know what to do?
It may at least open communications?
Have you thought of something like AlAnon - I think support is very important.
You may also like to check out our excellent Family and Friends forums here too, as well
D
I know you'll find a lot of support here in Newcomers
Why not tell him straight - you're at your wits end and you don't know what to do?
It may at least open communications?
Have you thought of something like AlAnon - I think support is very important.
You may also like to check out our excellent Family and Friends forums here too, as well
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
Welcome to SR! I agree with setting some boundaries with your husband as to his drinking. It depends on how much you can tolerate. In the meantime, get support for yourself. Look into AlAnon and the friends and family forum here. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 236
Sometimes tough love is the way to go. Sometimes they won't change without an ultimatum. Perhaps try giving a time limit on how soon he needs to change these ways. Problem is no one can be helped unless they really want to get help and change.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 291
Welcome. I am sorry you are going through this. How long has your husband been retired? I have heard of a lot of people go through a depression state after retiring. They feel lost without the regular routine. I am hoping this is the case with your husband, since you never gave a history of his drinking before retirement.
My only suggestion is that you try to get him to go to AA meetings during the day. Socializing with people struggling like his is will help him to make friends and have a daily goal in life.
I understand it is hard on you and you have every right to be angry. Start the tough love slowly, but he does need socialization and a life after retirement.
My only suggestion is that you try to get him to go to AA meetings during the day. Socializing with people struggling like his is will help him to make friends and have a daily goal in life.
I understand it is hard on you and you have every right to be angry. Start the tough love slowly, but he does need socialization and a life after retirement.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by Nonsensical 
Why not?
Now that I have some knowledge of how addiction works, I certainly try not to do this until I know for sure I'm not making an empty threat and I really WILL back it up w/action.
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