britgirl

I'm 14 days sober and thought I'd be starting to feel a little better by now. Instead I feel worse than ever.

My mood is so low, I'm full of self hatred, depressed, angry, snapping at everyone around me. I'm constantly obsessing on negative thoughts, I can't get to sleep and then when I do drop off I have nightmares about the past that haunt me upon waking and throughout the day.

Physically my head hurts, my body aches and my skin is dry and pretty dead looking, not a very pretty picture right now.

Is any if this usual? Any advice welcome as I'm feeling so bad that I'm planning my next drink just so I can forget how bad I feel for a while!!

I don't want to drink as I've done a lot if damage and lost a lot through it but I've never felt this bad 14 days in before.

Don't want to sound pathetic but I'm really hurting and lost and not sure what to do.

Thanks for reading x

Dee74

Hi britgirl

for me, removing alcohol didn't sort out all my problems - in many ways that's where the work began for me.

Apart from SR do you have any support? I think thats important.

Also, what other changes are you making to you life apart from not drinking - I think that's important too....many times all I was doing was getting angry and resentful and missing drinking...it's not a great way to live.

D

britgirl

Hi Dee


Thanks for replying. The only support I have is SR right now. I'd really like to attend AA but I'm a single Mum to two young girls and don't have anyone to sit with them for me.

I need to make lots of changes as I'm not in a good place right now. I just lost my job, got mediation tomorrow with my abusive exabf over his visitation rights to our daughter. Health not great etc. just have no energy or motivation for anything and am really hating myself for being this way.

Anna

Hi,

Congratulations on 14 days sober!

Dee is right. Stopping drinking is just the beginning. I needed to really look at myself and my life with complete honesty and make some big changes. I think if you make one change, it will have a ripple effect in your life and it will encourage you to make more changes. Feeling good is something that we have to work at.

BrokenBottles

Hi, Britgirl.

I don't have much to offer in terms of advice, but I feel about the same way. When we use alcohol to mask our problems and then take away the mask, it seems we're left with just the problems!

I have had unusual body aches but I think that's related to other issues. It could also be stress related.

miko67

Hi Brit girl, glad you are here.
This was a great step for me in my journey in sobriety, it really helps. I also found I need support around me too. I think you must try all you can to get too AA , for me it is the ultimate lifeline. It saves life's it really does. I don't know how many times I tried alone and always got so caught up in me and my worries I drank! Always back to that darkness you are describing. I have been where u r now I'm a male but I can relate, self loathing and depressed about the future. It can change, my life's took a massive turnaround in three months, it's still difficult but is becoming more manageable. Your doing great to get two weeks , I know the struggle but please, I beg you get some support wether it's AA or some other recovery method it is well worth it, because you are worth it and your kids will thanks you for it someday too :-)

360shoes

Hi Britgirl,
Yep, I felt like I would have to die to get better the first 2 weeks. If it wasn't the physical stuff it was the mental. All it told me was just how much damage I really did and if I thought this was bad, I was mortified of how hard it would be if I postponed the inevitable. I was sober for 10 years before so I was lucky. I knew how much better it would be. That's how I hung on.

If you haven't had a long period of not drinking or using and have not experienced it for yourself of how wonderful it can be just yet hold on and trust and believe.

14 days is so awesome. You are doing it. It takes some time to get your soul back. Fight for it.

Eddiebuckle

Britgirl,

For day fourteen, you are pretty much right on schedule. Most people do not realize how much alcohol damages the entire body, but especially the central nervous system. The mood swings, headaches, inability to concentrate, poor sleep are all part of the healing process. I know how alarming it feels, when I was on week two I was convinced that I had somehow done permanent damage, and couldn't understand how stopping drinking could have caused such a negative outcome. It does get better, but it takes time. You will recognize progress in retrospect, but in the thick of it you just need to trust that this is normal and that you are healing.

I recommend that you find a local face to face resource to stay in touch with during early sobriety. It can be tough, but if you have another person, or better yet people, who understand the process it's much easier to stay positive. I found AA to be a great help.

Congratulations on two weeks & good luck!

stark6935

Yep, I just got really upset and felt like I should just go and drink myself stupid for the night. Then I realized this is life and I need to deal with these issues without alcohol now. I might forget my problem for the night, but it's still there (I don't even remember what it was I just got mad for no reason), and I'm going to feel like garbage tomorrow if I do drink...

least

Two weeks is pretty early in recovery. Allow yourself more time to heal and in the meantime, treat yourself well: good food, exercise, and rest. It may take a while but you'll start feeling better.

AllieB

Britgirl,
I can't really add anything to the rather excellent advice you've received already, but I can relate.

And I can be a cautionary tale. Somewhere around a month I got tired of fighting, tired of feeling even moodier and more irrational than usual, tired of feeling like everyone else was starting to feel good while I was getting increasingly miserable. And, because I'd experienced the difficulties of staying sober without feeling any of the benefits, and because I was frustrated and depressed that I wasn't seeing any progress at all in my mood or thinking, I had "a" drink. That "a" drink turned into lots over the course of an afternoon. Now, instead of getting to see what it's like to be 2+ months sober, I'm back in week 2 and, assuming that, eventually, the mind and body do heal, I just ensured that it takes me a month longer than necessary to get to that healed, easier, happier point.

All of which is to say that, I hear you about how frustrating it is. And I think that it's cosmically unjust that you can fight so hard for weeks and not see any tangible benefits yet. And, most importantly, I hope you are smarter than I was, and that you don't let the frustration derail you.

Gottalife

Hi Britgirl,
your post describes exactly what happened to me each time I stopped drinking. One of the reasons I was reluctant to get sober was that, in my experience, being sober was a miserable affair.

I discovered that what was wrong with me fundamentally, was an internal spiritual malady. I just could not function in the world without alcohol, and I had always been like that. I was no good with relationships, in trouble at work, couldn't make friends easily. Booze enabled me to function, it was my solution right up to the point that it stopped working. Then I was left with the awful feeling you describe. Take away the booze and life gets worse.

As the absolute last resort, I went to AA and there I learned I had an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. My mission then became to try and get my life on some sort of spiritual path and I used the AA program (the steps) to do this. Short version is in a few short months I found my self relieved of all these problems and feelings and I have not needed to take a drink since, no matter what.

LadyinBC

You are not pathetic. What you are feeling and going thru is quite common in the beginning. I was a mess, especially the first 3 weeks. Once I got thru the 3rd week I started to think that maybe I could really do this. I'd never made it thru the 3rd week before.

Hang in there, post here anytime you need to. You can do this!

SparklingSeven

What you are feeling is the thing that used to scupper my attempts at recovery over and over again!

It's normal. You don't put all those toxins into your system over an extended period and just get away with it. The good news is that it does get better and that the worst part is probably just about over.

9 10 11 days I used to throw the towel in all the time. But I found when I eventually pushed on to 3 weeks I felt a lot better - I certainly had the energy and determination to carry on. Which after all all you need.

Like others have mentioned good nutritious food helps and I took a good multi-vitamin with all the b-vitamins. I like my food so a bar of chocolate or something similar always helped me over a miserable period.

Just keep plugging away and remember you never got where you are overnight, it's going to take a while to feel tickety- boo again.

Twoworlds12345

Hi Britgirl, 14 days is amazing. well done, im on 15 days at the moment and know exactly what your feeling like with regards to the alcohol. Also noticed your in derby. i live in staffordshire so not too far away, i went though the NHS for help with my addiction, would that not be an option for you? also i had help in counselling from an alchohol misuse charity, is there one near where you are? it might help to keep you where you want to be

TwoWorlds

alcoholic123

Hi Britgirl,

Well done on reaching 14 days, i cant get past 24 hours yet. Your symptoms are similar to many who post on here so stick with it, it will get better.

Michael66

Hi Britgirl

It seems so unfair doesn't it? We give up alcohol and then rather than feeling great many of us feel lousy. I was just the same. For me it was a bit like a fog descended - I was miserable, lethargic, restless, and bored. That fog lasted 3 months for me. I kept a journal and looking back around the 3 month mark and can see my mood gradually start to life. By 4 months I was feeling quite a bit better and I think by 6 months I would described myself as genuinely "happy".

I think some people feel great pretty quickly. Others take longer. Some may find they have an underlying condition that also needs addressing.

Well done on 2 weeks. I think this is the toughest time - the initial enthusiasm may have waned but you're not yet feeling the benefits. This is the time you just have to trust that the benefits will come and you will feel much better. It's just a pain that there's such a delay in feeling the benefits. I grumbled to God a lot about it.

God bless - hang in there, you're doing great.

newpower

There is aa meeting online using the paltalk tool you can get to an aa meeting from home

FeelingGreat

Britgirl it must take a lot of guts to stick it out for 14 days when you're feeling depressed and miserable. Don't do it in vain.
Are you taking good care of yourself? Have you been eating well, and had a checkup to make sure you're not deficient in anything like iron, just as an example?
When you wake up in the morning take a moment to congratulate yourself on another day without regrets and self reproach. Have a little smile to yourself.

heath480

Congratulations on 14 days.

All the things you are describing are not unusual in early recovery.They will improve in time.

Derby and the surrounding area has plenty of AA meetings,give them a call,then at least you will have spoken to someone.

The number for the helpline is 0115 941 7100. It is manned from 08.00-midnight.

Wishing you well.