strawberryblond

I really thought I was doing ok, had almost gotten to the end of day 2. Then hubby and I had a very small spat - actually it was nothing but a difference of opinion and over nothing important- and there was my old friend vodka. Had 3 drinks, became immensely disgusted with myself, and went to bed very angry that I messed up. Woke up feeling like you know what,

So now all day I will have to listen to that looped tape in my head about what an idiot I am and how I blew it. Tired of being self-destructive.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear you drank SB. What do you think you can change with your plan so next time you don't pick up the bottle?

strawberryblond

I think I need to put myself into some kind of timeout. Seriously, if I had taken a few minutes to step back, whether by going for a short walk outside or even just posting a short blurb here it probably would've been enough for me to get past the urge to crawl back into my old habit.

Mizzuno

Time outs are good. Also, If you have alcohol that is readily available for you do drink maybe think about getting that out of the house. I had to get everyone on board with my mission into sobriety. All of this takes time. Be gentle with you.

strawberryblond

Mizzuno- I really wish I could do that, however my husband is a drinker and right now he isn't on the same page as me. Which means I will have to put on my big girl pants and deal with it, with no excuses.

newpower

Maybe next time come to this site and write out your feelings and give you time to rationalize them before you get on the grog. There are people here that have been where you are and can offer some Advice for you or support. You can do it tomorrow is a new day.

Pondlady

Walking really helped me in early sobriety. If I felt agitated, out the door I'd go. It was amazing how much it helped and I'd talk with neighbors etc. Give it a try

Riel

Having three drinks and going to bed disappointed with yourself isn't blowing it.

Waking up in a locked room with pink walls is blowing it.

Don't be so hard on yourself, and keep trying.

england

Hey there,

Lots of people lapse but as long as we learn from it then it will increase our strength.

4 months ago I lapsed after being 18 months clean from cocaine - after being very annoyed at myself I looked at why I used again and discovered that I was still not ready to be in the company of certain so called friends.

Dont give up and start again - I have 100% confidence that you can stop drinking

Steven567

Hey Strawberryblonde sorry to hear about what happened and i agree with the others having three drinks isnt blowing it. If I can ask, you had mentioned that your husband isnt on the same page as you with your drinking? Does he know you are trying to quit? If not maybe talk to him about it and see if he can keep his alcohol someplace in the house where you will not be able to find it? Hang in there and you will make it through this!

strawberryblond

Thank you all. I have a list of things I can choose from instead of drinking, and coming here and taking a walk are tops. I tend to be harder on myself than anyone else, so I am trying to treat myself the way I would a good friend. Hubby knows, he just keeps telling me moderation shouldn't be so hard. I think he may be afraid of having to face his own demons if he looses his drinking partner, so to speak.

Anna

I'm glad to see that you're looking at different options to get through something like that again. Walking saved me and even after all these years, it's part of my daily routine.

Michael66

Hi strawberryblond

What is your aim - is it to moderate or to embrace abstinence from alcohol?

hayley86

Sorry to hear this happened, don't be too hard on yourself, just get back on it and persevere-you can do this. As someone above said, i find walking helps me so much and it did even more so in the first few weeks of my sobriety.I don't allow myself to sit with my thoughts for too long and if i feel myself starting to stress or worry i put my shoes on and head out the door, it really stops me thinking as much. In the first of weeks i even did this in the middle of the night if i needed to and i still start every day with a walk it really sets me up for the day ahead and makes me want to be healthy and stay on track. Keep going!!

strawberryblond

My goal is total sobriety. I know too well that I simply don't have a stop mechanism when it comes to alcohol.

Dee74

some great suggestions here SB - you're now better equipped than you were 24 hours ago

D

deeker

Come to SR next time. Post a thread I want to drink, please talk me out of it.

It will work.

Michael66

Hi SB,

I think in that case you do need to be quite tough on yourself. Sadly I don't think we have the luxury to be able to think "never mind" if we do drink while aiming for sobriety. My experience was that attitude led back to drinking. Not that I think you aren't being tough on yourself - you are, and I think that tough message to ourselves is needed; we must have to have a "zero tolerance" to drinking if we are to find a stable and content sobriety.

Marcher13

SB, why don't you print that out and put it somewhere you'll see it often?

alcoholic123

You can start again, your vodka was just a blip and you are not an idiot. Alcohol has an immense power over our thinking.