Big plan in effect - what do you tell people about drinking?
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Big plan in effect - what do you tell people about drinking?
This is a minor aspect of the RR/AVRT program but I didn't find any suggestions in Trimpey's book (or maybe I missed them). I know you aren't supposed to tell people about your Big Plan - but in terms of not drinking on a given night, what do you say?
Assuming you have to attend a function with friends or colleagues with whom you've shared a drink (or 10) in the past. Anyone have any advice on what you say in terms of not drinking?
I'm fine with saying, no thanks, not tonight. Or I'm getting healthy this month. Just wondered what others have used or thought of in their own recoveries.
Loving RR/AVRT. Thanks so much to this board for the suggestions.
Assuming you have to attend a function with friends or colleagues with whom you've shared a drink (or 10) in the past. Anyone have any advice on what you say in terms of not drinking?
I'm fine with saying, no thanks, not tonight. Or I'm getting healthy this month. Just wondered what others have used or thought of in their own recoveries.
Loving RR/AVRT. Thanks so much to this board for the suggestions.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
It depends on the company I guess. No thanks always works. I have had my share already. It's my night off. I am on a health kick. I am on medication and shouldn't have any.
All of my friends are happy that I no longer drink, so no explanations are necessary for them. It was a worry and a concern for everyone.
Congratulations on making your choice. Well done.
All of my friends are happy that I no longer drink, so no explanations are necessary for them. It was a worry and a concern for everyone.
Congratulations on making your choice. Well done.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Western, USA
Posts: 38
It really depends on the situation. I've used many of the same reasons as freshstart57: No thanks, medication, tired enough already, not feeling well, etc.
People don't usually push or even notice. It's always a much bigger deal for me than it is for them. Dealing with it does get easier and 'smoother' over time.
People don't usually push or even notice. It's always a much bigger deal for me than it is for them. Dealing with it does get easier and 'smoother' over time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
I say, I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE!
Lol, just kidding.
I simply say no thank you, or perhaps if it is someone new in my life, I say I don't drink. That settles it now, and in the future.
Lol, just kidding.
I simply say no thank you, or perhaps if it is someone new in my life, I say I don't drink. That settles it now, and in the future.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2
I'm a newbie and this is my first post but, what has worked for me in my particular "social circle" is to throw a little comedy in it (especially for those who were used to seeing me with a beer in hand, now a diet coke).
I simply say "No thanks, I've decided to give my liver a break". I get a chuckle and often a "good for you" (very rewarding) and then go on with a good conversation. Nobody thinks twice about it.
I simply say "No thanks, I've decided to give my liver a break". I get a chuckle and often a "good for you" (very rewarding) and then go on with a good conversation. Nobody thinks twice about it.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by Bohuntr97 
I'm a newbie and this is my first post but, what has worked for me in my particular "social circle" is to throw a little comedy in it (especially for those who were used to seeing me with a beer in hand, now a diet coke).
I simply say "No thanks, I've decided to give my liver a break". I get a chuckle and often a "good for you" (very rewarding) and then go on with a good conversation. Nobody thinks twice about it.
I simply say "No thanks, I've decided to give my liver a break". I get a chuckle and often a "good for you" (very rewarding) and then go on with a good conversation. Nobody thinks twice about it.
It's good to hear from folks like you that have made a Big Plan but haven't posted here much at all.
GerandTwine
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 113
Originally Posted by SoberArtistGirl
People don't usually push or even notice. It's always a much bigger deal for me than it is for them. Dealing with it does get easier and 'smoother' over time.
i just say 'i don't drink' and if anyone asks 'why?' 1. i pretty much know they have a problem themselves, sorry but it's true in my experience, which i don't say to get a judgemental kick but rather so in know i may be talking to that person's AV/beast at some point, and
2. i dont even bother trying to explain, because explanations invite criticism (sometimes anyway, especially if the other person is an addict) so i just look at them like they've said something COMPLETELY inappropriate and unpleasant, like they've admitted to molesting cattle or something
and say 'i just don't like to' - which is true now, because i don't like to kill myself, act like an idiot, and all the other crud that made me STOP in the first place! spotting when you're talking to someone else's beast is handy, especially early on, because they can really try and undermine you, someone i know went off on a MAJOR rant at me once about 'why can't you have just the one and enjoy it with a meal' which was EXACTLY what my own AV liked to say and what had many, many times undermined my good intentions before i found AVRT!
it'd be funny if it wasn't sad...
anyway sorry to ramble but just cut the conversation dead if it seems likely you'll be dealing with 2 beasts at once (yours and theirs) because really, who needs that?!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 9
I just say no thanks, I just want a water.
The difficult part is meeting new friends and dating new people. The fear is that no one will want to get involved with you as an ex-alcoholic. I just say, I have a DUI and decided to quit drinking because I do not want to risk more problems.
If I didn't have a DUI, I would just say I quit drinking because I didn't like it.
The difficult part is meeting new friends and dating new people. The fear is that no one will want to get involved with you as an ex-alcoholic. I just say, I have a DUI and decided to quit drinking because I do not want to risk more problems.
If I didn't have a DUI, I would just say I quit drinking because I didn't like it.
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