Choloeos

Well, this is the first time I have ever done anything like this but I really feel like it is time to do something about my life instead of convincing myself I will die unhappy and useless. I'm 19 years old, i'll be 20 in September, and I've been addicted to mostly prescription drugs for about 4 years. Both of my parents are drug addicts as well, neither of them seeking treatment. Recently, I have experienced my first taste of opiate withdrawals, due to my latest obtainable drug, Methadone. I was using pretty consistently for about 3 or 4 months, and then ran out. So for about a week I went without, then got more, But in that time I realized that I really don't want to be eating pills all day just to feel normal and to function in society. Physically, I can't help it right now because I know I can't do this by myself until I have some kind of help. Nobody in my life knows about my addiction, and if my family did know, all it would do is cause more stress for me because they would just know about it and not do anything to help because they're scared of it too. I know that my severe and untreated depression and anxiety are probably mostly to blame for my addiction. The pills make me happy. But I don't want artificial happiness anymore I want to know how it feels to be legitimately happy. I'm short on money and resources, so I don't even know where I should turn to for help. I'm completely lost in life right now and if this doesn't change I know I will die soon. I have an addiction and I need a way OUT of it !!

Dee74

Hi Choloeos

Even something as small as coming here can be the start of a way out.
There's lot of other support around too - NA, SMART, and other programmes - even if support is not there at home.

If you want change, you really can make it happen

D

Nighthawk8820

Wow, so young! Well, its great that you recognize there is a problem and know that you dont like this life, nor want to be a part of it anymore. You dont have to be a product of your environment, but it will take WORK to change and get out of the situation you are in. The pills cause anxiety and depression, which you may not realize. For 4 years, you have been in a constant state of extreme highs and lows, due to your pill consumption. You can be happy, and live a good life, but you will have to get sober and be super serious about it. I promise you, if you put the work in, you can beat this. The plus side is your young, so your body and mind will heal faster than someone much older. You can try doing it on your own, but Im not sure that would be the best for you, especially with the environment you are in with your parents. You need to go to a treatment facility, and since you have no money, you can look up county funded programs or call your local department of human services and ask what options you have available to you. Most States have things set up for lower income people looking to get help, and they take it pretty serious.......which will work to your benefit. It will be scary, but most beginnings are. It will be worth it. Make the call on Monday, or they may even have an after hours crisis line (doubt it), but google it and check. Dont be afraid, this is a great chance for you to nip this in the butt and avoid the many, many pitfalls that will develop as your addiction progresses.

artsoul

Welcome Choloeos!

Admitting we have a problem and reaching out for help are the first steps in getting better and it takes a lot of courage, so give yourself a thumbs up for that!

You're right about deserving better and living a life where you don't have to use to feel normal. Have you looked into free/low cost clinics or detox, or a doctor that specializes in addiction to get you started?

We understand what it's like to be caught in the vicious cycle, but you can do it...... glad you're here!

p.s. You might want to check out the section on substance abuse, too:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Choloeos

Where abouts in the world are you? There is a lot of free help out there if you know where to look. Here in the UK all of our healthcare is free and this includes specialist addiction treatment but it took me a while to start looking properly to find it. A google search on help with addictions in your area would be a good place to start. I'd really recommend going to an NA/AA meeting too. The people I met in AA had a very good knowledge of what services were available in my area and of course it is a great place to go for support in itself. There is also a lot of information available online and you can go to online meetings, both AA and SMART recovery I think. And there are also chat meetings held here. You are in the right place anyway It can be a long road out of addiction but I think you have made the biggest step by coming here and talking about it. Glad you're here x

Anna

I'm glad you found us, and please know that you are not alone. We do understand how hard this is.

least

to SR!

oak

Welcome to SR! My heart goes out to you. I was hooked on alcohol and OTC pills when I was your age and no one knew.

You could check out AA or NA or SMART meetings if they are near you. SMART Recovery also has online meetings.

There might also be low-cost counseling available. If you are interested in counseling, you can search online for low-fee counseling or call multiple therapists and ask what they recommend; you might also have a Family Service Agency or another low-cost clinic nearby (if you live in the US). If there is a county mental health center, try calling them too.

Keep posting here too. There is a lot of support here.

Choloeos

You all are so amazing. I cannot thank each and every one of you enough. Keep the replies coming, they really help and make me feel hopeful.

taylermarie

That's really great that you already see you need a change. Admitting the problem is a huge step forward...I just today let myself actually say I have a drinking problem and it feels oddly empowering to recognize it and not brush it off. You see what you want to change and you're doing it! Congrats and good luck.