GreenEggsAndHam

I've been reading and figured I'd post my own thread.

I've been drinking for decades (since 15 years old) in all sorts of stages (parties, clubs, socially), but the past two years I've been drinking daily at home all day, starting in the morning usually, as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, boredom, insecurity, work, etc.

It's to the point where I plan every single thing I do around drinking. I get sloppy drunk, I feel like garbage, I can't be a good wife or mother, and my drinking has caused a lot of problems. I realized that nothing good has ever come from me drinking, while almost everything bad in my life has been a result of alcohol.

So here I am, on day two of sobriety and worried about the weekend. We always go out to eat (to drink, really), and am worried that my AV will win this weekend, but I HAVE to get sober for my health and my kids. If I could just remember that when my AV tells me it's ok if I only drink a 6-pack because at least it's not a 12-pack...

Anyway, this site has been a big help and I will be around a lot - big thank you to everyone who posts here.

GracieLou

Congrats on day two!

Can you plan to go somewhere else? Could you just pick up some chicken and soft drinks/tea and head to a local park. Have a picnic dinner.

Go to a movie and just have some popcorn and soda.

There are lots of other things and places you can go that does not involve drinking alcohol.

If you husband is a drinker too can you share with him that you are having a rough time and you need to go someplace that does not have alcohol around at least until you feel stronger.

GreenEggsAndHam

GracieLou - thank you! Yes, I will plan to go places where alcohol isn't served. There is a deli we really like and then drive through. Yesterday I didn't even leave my house because I wanted beer and knew I'd stop off to get some.

Tomorrow we are having company and grilling out (which always means beer) but maybe the guys won't want to drink. I'm not going to buy any.

stevie88

Welcome...I used to plan everything around my drinking too...If I took the wife shopping we had to be home by 12pm so I could crack a can, if it was any later then that then I would get in a foul mood till I got my way...Used to make sure I only drank a few so that I could still drive to get the kids from school....Once back would drink whilst I was cooking their dinner and washing up...Then take a couple of cans with me to go walk the dog..Then once the dog was walked I would drink like a fish,always checking the fridge to make sure I had enough beer...Come 21.00 I would nip out to the shop to go and get more just in case even though I didn't really need them...Pass out,wake up and repeat....This disease is evil and controlling and I'm glad I quit and got my life back...I wish you all the best and I hope you too can get your life back as well......Steve..

GreenEggsAndHam

stevie88 - same here. I own my own business and work at home so I can drink all day if I want, but I also have to pick up my children from school so I pace myself during the day. Once they get home all bets are off. Scary thing is that it's summer so I don't have to drive. If I didn't make the decision to change, I'd drink at least a 12 pack of [strong] beer daily.

sassu78

Hi and congrats on your day 2!

I think it might be a good idea to start concentrating on you. What anybody else does, if they drink or not, has nothing to do with you. I know it'll be weird to stay sober but if you want to stay sober you can.
I think that this would be your biggest and best change you ever did in your life, at least it was for me. First I thought that nothing will change, I'll just don't drink. I will still do all the same stuff, hang with same crowd of people...but I was wrong. The pressure to drink was very surprising. And the people I used to drink with told me that I don't have a problem, "just have few drinks". Since they drank like me, if they would've admitted my problem, they would have been alcoholics too...

If you want to stop, you need to be a little selfish and take care of you.

I wish you strength and a great weekend

Malachi

Congratulations on two days so far! That's a big deal! Like sassu78 said, put you and your recovery first. Active alcoholics are notorious for being selfish, but alcoholics in early recovery need to be selfish for the greater good. Like when they tell you on airplanes, if the oxygen masks come down, put yours on first because without that you can't help anyone else. This is similar. Put your own needs first, put staying sober first, because without that you can't be there for your husband and children.

GreenEggsAndHam

Thank you sassu and malachi - yes, I agree. They are on their own tomorrow as far as drinking goes. I'm staying sober.

Dee74

I've found I can do whatever I want to do...what others do is their business.

Have a great sober weekend GreenEggs
D

Hevyn

Welcome GreenEggs! Great to have you join us. SR helped me quit a lifetime drinking habit. I found the hope & encouragement I needed here. I hope you'll feel the same.

I ended my drinking career just like you - drinking all day. I never dreamed I'd let that happen. It started out so innocently & just for fun. My biggest regret is spending so many years trying to control what I drank. I finally know I can't touch it.

Wishing you well as you begin your journey. You can do it!

ChrissieB

Yes, so glad you are taking control back... You can do this.... Life will only get better x

GreenEggsAndHam

Thank you so much for the encouragement, everyone. =) I know I'm not expected to drink with them - just meant that it will be very difficult for me to resist beer in the fridge.

There have been many days lately where I've cried, believing that I just can't stop and I didn't know what to do. Happy to say that I made it through dinner out without a drop of alcohol (but it did cross my mind a lot - perfect chilling on the patio and drinking margaritas for 5 hours weather). Oh, and made it through grocery shopping without buying beer.

Just trying to stay busy cooking, working, playing games on my ipad, whatever it takes. =)

Mizzuno

Yes, exactly whatever it takes! Please post as much and as often as you need to. We are all sailing the Sober Sea. You are doing something amazing for your life. The first few weeks are a little intense. I know that you can do this. Good job not buying that alcohol. Your heart, mind, body Thank You!

Caycilia

Hi, greeneggs! I don't have advice or anything since I am also on day 2, but I wanted to say welcome, and as I'm sure is already apparent from the replies, you are far from alone.

Be strong, have a fun sober weekend, and we can all do this together.

Nighthawk8820

Isnt it amazing? We pick up alcohol to help with anxiety, depression, and self doubt and in the end, it becomes the main cause of all our anxiety, depression, and self doubt. You can feel better, live better, and find yourself again..........but you have to put your entire being into getting and staying sober. That means, for starters, NOT going out to eat or entering into an establishment that sells or offers liquor this weekend...........and for many weekends after this one. You have to start somewhere, why not right now? To get to where you want to be, you will have to start sooner or later, so why not begin your new life right now? The sooner you do, the sooner you will start to feel the relief of breaking the horrible cycle of addiction. Its something only you can decide.

GreenEggsAndHam

We are having our cookout today and this will be my first cookout in over 20 years where I haven't drank. I think it will be nice, actually, to not embarrass myself for once.

Still, I'm vrery annoyed this morning by this part of me that thinks if I just say screw it and stay drunk 24/7 I will be a happier person. Logic tells me this is ridiculous, but it's so tempting.

DrakeCKC

Welcome and congrats on starting your sober journey. I too work at home and found it so tempting to start earlier and earlier.

I keep temptation down by thinking that "the worst day sober has to be better than the best day drunk."

hayley86

Its so easy to be fooled by the drink that it will make you less anxious, less miserable, will improve your mood and make the day better and there only thing I have ever found is the opposite. I didn't realise until I started getting sober that the drinking was causing all my anxieties and mood swings, I thought I needed to drink because I was having anxiety and panic attacks but its only since I have got sober and not had any of these and I am now a happy person with no crazy mood swings that I realise it was the booze causing all of these issues. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, don't get angry with yourself for what that alcoholic voice is telling you, its good at manipulating and it wants to control you but recognise that you can shut it out and you can do this. Everyday you spend sober that voice will become less, you owe it to yourself to succeed at this, I never thought I would be able to and here I am and my life is a million times better already. Stay strong and have will power, ignore what anyone else is doing and focus on you!

Caycilia

I think this way too. This will reduce as we get more sober time and have actual proof that it is a lie that the AV is telling us, right?

GreenEggsAndHam

omg there is one beer in the fridge that I must have missed the other day.