Aeryn

I had been in a limbo state with my STBXAH for about a year now - living separate but in our joint properties and just sort of not taking any new steps - still married but not together.

Earlier this year I started the process for a legal separation and was advised for financial reasons to move into my own place...anyhow it was hard but I did it. Signed the lease today, the place is officially mine - I had been going back and forth and it was hard for me to even send in the deposit but I did it. It's a nice place and a bit more than I wanted to spend and a smaller house than I'm used to living in so I will have adjust my lifestyle a bit but it's in a hip neighborhood in the city with a nice view so I'm happy with it...I also made sure the landlord let me bring my own appliances (washer/dryer, refrigerator etc) - that is a big deal to me to have my own stuff in there and not stuff the previous tenant used (I know sounds weird).

It's really hard to take the right steps but I know they are the right steps and even though I'm scared, nervous, anxious, sad and happy, excited and hopeful at the same time I'm glad I chose life. Because living in limbo dredging through each day not moving forward or being truly free was not really living for me - I already see some new doors slowly opening. So despite the array of emotions (on minute sad, the next angry, the next happy) I'm glad I am taking a risk and choosing my life.

LexieCat

Good for YOU!!

You will adjust to the new house and new budget. The neighborhood sounds awesome--hip neighborhood in the city with a nice view--that's worth a LOT right there!

Congrats! When are we coming over for the housewarming? (Oh, guess we should make sure the fridge is in there and working--there are lots of us to feed! )

Aeryn

A housewarming sounds like a great idea! Chicken wings, salsa and chips, tacos..etc.

Budgeting for me is HARD but I will do it....or maybe I'll ask for a raise - haha.

AnonK

I remember how hard it was when I moved away from my first XABF. I dealt with the same emotions for months, but I love my little apartment.

The good outweighs the bad.

I can do what I want when I want. I don't have to stay up half the night waiting to make sure he came in. I can leave dishes in the sink for a few hours and put whatever I want on the walls. I'm free to be who I want to be, and so can you.

Congrats on your new place!!

Tuffgirl

I asked for a raise - got 5% right off the bat, and am in negotiation for another 15%. It never hurts to ask!

I am so happy for you! I love love love my little house. I put in a container garden last year and a new bed in the front yard, all the perennials came back! It's so nice to have my own happy and safe place. I think you will love it as much as I do.

wicked

Love those perennials! Whatcha got way up there in the frozen tundra?

Me too! But it is not an issue about breaking up with someone,
it is about me making my house a home.
I love impressionists! VanGogh is my favorite.
Bright, bold, big strokes!

wicked

I am happy for you, Aeryn.
wonderful stuff going on for you and only you!

Beth

Seren

Enjoy your new place!

DaddyWolf

WELL DONE Aeryn!!!!

The mixed emotions sure make all choices confusing. You are doing the right thing!

You are very brave. Way to go!

wiscsober

That is fantastic! I am happy for you. You have made the right choice: your life! Yeah

Recovering2

God Bless your new home and your new life.

lillamy

This post made me happy.
Like my signature says -- sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Lots of love.

Aeryn

Thank you so much for the support everyone!

I'm going to pick out my new refrigerator this weekend - to be delivered once the lease takes effect!

Tuffgirl

The main ones I was hoping to see are my columbine. I found the most gorgeous pink/white/yellow variety last year and they came up first! Very exciting! Then I have a blue variety and a very dark purple. For some reason, I just love columbine. The others are local flowering shrubs, ferns, hostas...the hardy cold weather stuff. And my transplanted raspberries also came back...still have a few years to go before I can make jam with my own bushes, but I am on my way to that.

My garden goes in new each year - this year its strawberries, zucchini, cucumbers, green onions, and all my favorite herbs. I couldn't find other stuff I wanted to grow this year - we had a run on the local greenhouses as soon as the sun came out. I can't find potato eyes or carrots anywhere!

And I was just wandering around the house last night looking for projects to work on. It's so nice to be able to set things up in my own taste and style; to make it comfortable for me and only me. To have my own bedroom and bathroom (heavenly!). I know its partly because of my experiences over the last few years, but right now I just can't imagine living with anyone ever again.

wicked

I just love these flowers! Deep purple columbines.
And raspberries, I see them at Kroger and my son says
"you are not going to get much on your porch mom!"
So exciting about making your own jam.

I imagine the run on the greenhouses when the sun is out for a few days!
We run out of stuff too! or the price gets ridiculous.

I cannot wait to have a place to grow big showy flowers,
vines and root vegetables. I like those a lot.

Hostas are very very popular around here, because they are so hardy and take abuse.
If they get any care at all, they are spectacular.

Thank you for sharing that Tuffgirl.


Beth

wicked

A new refrigerator! I have never had a new one, because we always rented.
A brand spanking new fridge!
That is so exciting.

(I do get what you said about other peoples fridges! ewwww)

Beth

dandylion

Columbines, y'all!! I love columbines, also. The grow wild in the mountains of West Virginia.

I'm going bezerk, here in Virginia with the vegetables and flowers. I was raised in the deep woods, so gardening is in my blood. Gardening symbolizes new life for me.

A new kitten or something new from the gardening section at the hardware store (not bread) is the most uplifting things I can think of!!

I am planting some nasturtiums from seeds today--I hope they do well this year.

Love to hear about other peoples' gardening adventures.

Aeryn--do you have any place that you can put a few pots of plants. Even in the city you can have the pleasures of your own gardening--even in very small spaces. ?


dandylion

Aeryn

I'm a city girl at heart so likely not much gardening (I love the city)....where I live even though I'm renting a house it's very common for the landlord to pay and provide the gardener (LOL...thus is the case). I do have a back patio and front porch I could put plants on if I wanted though - we'll see!

I'm walking distance from coffee, cute little restaurants and a place people go to walk here (can't get more specific or I'd give it away)....also close to some trendy shops. I was lucky to find a place in this neighborhood....I was specifically looking for this area so when this place opened up I grabbed it fast before it got taken. I do like to write so I imagine I'll visit the coffee shops often....and that place people go to walk is also a nice place to write.