Summerpeach

My friend believes her husband is cheating and she knows he surfs Craigslist so she put a fake ad with words he would relate to. The ad simply said "Want to smoke some weed and hang out? Not looking for commitment, just a smoking buddy"

Get this??!!! She got over 460 msg in a 24 hr period.
Her and her sister went through them all, not only did her husband reply but she told me over 95% of the messages were from married men looking for sex and went on and on about how they don't love their wives or how they don't give them sex or understand them!!!

WOW! I already had trust issues from my last 3 long terms ALL cheating on me, but now, I may be single for LIFE!

SicknTired8

Do faithful men exist? It makes me sick.

ElegantlyWasted

Isn't that kinda entrapment? If she didn't trust him to begin with she should probably leave. People like that are not worth being around IMHO and you're stooping to their level trying to bust them. Find some decent people to hang out with, they are out there.
" I already had trust issues from my last 3 long terms ALL cheating on me, but now, I may be single for LIFE!"
I hope you're being a little tongue and cheek here. You do know you have committed a major statistical sampling error with your line of thinking. Just trying to say the whole world isn't evil. There are real and good people out there.

m1k3

Yep, me. Was faithful for 36 years but lost out to alcohol and RX drugs.

lillamy

Yes, faithful men exist. Probably to at least the same level faithful women exist.

AnvilheadII

imagine if everyone had boundaries and had the guts to just pull the plug when the relationship or marriage just wasn't working anymore. pretty sad when the alternative to doing the right thing is to troll craigslist looking for company. i wonder how many never planned to take it any farther and just lived out the fantasy for a while.

kinda "creepy" that your friend and her sister sat and went thru ALL the replies...all 460 of them. setting a trap for her husband is bad enough.

Hammer

dunno that I would say "not working."

I am thinking more along the lines of "won't throw out the trash."



awww, come on. It was kind of funny. And most likely it was "suspended disbelief" thing until she actually seen him respond.

NOW. She knows. Next step is hers.

Hammer

sure. I tend to be boringly so.

But that hardly saves one from the nonsense she is putting our family through.

cr995

That would be so hurtful I think - to actually have the evidence in black and white - so sad.

dandylion

Actually, I would call it "Reality Feedback". Good material for divorce court--"He who has the most papers, wins".

dandylion

LexieCat

I find it rather creepy, too--placing the ad, that is.

Hey--what if he figures out it was her, and charges HER with cheating? Or what if he claims he knew it was her, and he replied so he could prove SHE was running around on him?

Big waste of time if you ask me. He sounds like someone she isn't happy with in the first place, why not just divorce him instead of playing gotcha games?

Hammer

Lexie, you are thinking like an Alcoholic, not a Codie.

I see a lot of that from the folks from the "Wet" side of the AA room/wall -- usually when their sponsor or T gets tired of their crap and sends them over to Alanon.

Alcoholic is about finding an excuse/way to win an argument/how to con, convince, etc.

Codie is about some imaginary "truth," justice, morality.

She does not likely want to "win" anything.

Maybe think of it as just checking the target before pulling the trigger.

Cyranoak

This isn't about gender. It's about addiction-- specifically alcoholism.

I've had the same group of male friends since 1991. Each and every one of us is still with the first woman we married, and each and every one of us never talks about cheating. It's not us. Cheating isn't accepted in our group. If anybody is cheating they are keeping it a secret.

I'm sorry for women who can't trust men, just as I'm sorry for men who can't trust women--including me. But i do know that not all women are untrustworthy. The problem is I don't feel it.

Nevertheless I know better than to crucify your entire gender.

Cyranoak

dandylion

Oh, Lexie---that is far too well thought out and mature for me........

dandylion

dandylion

Actually Hammer-- I know that we are just pullin' each other's leg here, but you just made a point that I didn't think of..... Codies do tend to take an altruistic stance--and feel that oithers should also.......

dandylion

LexieCat

No, I am NOT thinking "like an alcoholic". And I personally don't identify with the concept of being "codie"--my THINKING is that if one is unhappy in a marriage, you don't need proof of some horrible misdeed to leave. Unhappiness is reason enough.

And I still think it is game-playing.

CharlieNoogan

It's pretty sick and twisted to place this ad.

It proves nothing other than that he responded to it. Maybe he likes the excitement of simply replying to these things and would never actually cheat.

dandylion

Hmmmm...I am thinking of that T.V. show where they place an ad (policeperson disguised as a minor) on Craig's List. Then they have a T.V. crew (plus police) waiting.....The child predators come out of the woodwork like cockroaches. Their lies and "defenses" are so transparent that is would be almost funny if it were not so pityful.

dandylion

LexieCat

While I don't care for the idea of that kind of reality show as pseudo-entertainment, fake ads and chat conversations with officers posing as minors are legitimate forms of investigation by sworn law enforcement officers. Legally, it isn't entrapment unless there is pressure placed on someone to commit an act he or she was not already prepared to commit.

I don't care for the idea of spouses investigating each other. If you can't trust your partner, and don't want to stay with someone you don't trust, I think you either get into marriage counseling or leave. Or go to marriage counseling and if the issue can't be resolved, leave.

bigsombrero

Geez. There are two things I didn't do as an active user/alcoholic that I'm actually proud of. I never got a tattoo, and I didn't get married.

Sorry to get off topic. Sorry to hear about your friends, sounds like they'd both be better off going separate ways.