Sadconfused

He passed out on the couch last night before our 3 yr old went to bed, I was sick and tired and just fed up so I sent a txt to him saying I was done and left his phone on his lap before I went to bed. He never said anything this morning about it so I told him i was serious. His response was the typical "im sorry and love you. I dont want to lose you" and instead of just say yea whatever and moving on I told him I didnt believe him, he had already lost me, and that i just wasnt happy anymore and I was sorry. He said ok and thats it. He came home for lunch and didnt say a word until he left and I got a see ya.

I am shocked by his calmness, it is worriesome to me but I honestly think he just isnt taking me all that serious right now and as I dont back down his anger will start to surface. I hope not but Im not expecting it to be this simple. Anyways I feel liberated and almost proud! I finally said exactly what I wanted to. Part of me keeps feeling bad or sad like I should throw him a bone but I just keep telling myself thats just me being codependent and he is a big boy that can handle his own if he wants to. But most of me feels like singing and dancing and well just happy. Its a little step but one that has made me feel a little stronger as long as I dont think about what he feels.

happybeingme

Good for you calmly stating your feelings. We alcoholics are expert at ignoring what makes us uncomfortable. You made him uncomfortable so he is going to pretend it didnt happen. Now you need to decide the next step

honeypig

Did you see this thread? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-choosing.html

It'll help you stay strong. You can do this.

Sadconfused

I just read it and now I am crying happy tears, I will not step back into his vortex ever again.

amy55

Sadconfused, I am very proud of you. Your anger finally started to kick in. Just remember that anger is a good thing also. It can be used to motivate you , or it can just escalate things. Depends on how to use it.

What is your next step? Did you plan it out yet?

Reason I am asking this is because once I embraced my anger, and finally started to stand up for myself, my ex just got worse.

He is ignoring this whole thing hoping that it goes away, and that you go back to your own "controlled box" again. If you bring it up again, he might "explode". That would be his tactic to get you back to the "old you". To control you, to make you afraid again.


From what I remember of your older posts, the weekend is the worst. Do you have a safe place to go to? Please read the link that honeypig left. Also please keep your cell phone on you at all times, just to be safe.

Sadconfused

I dont really have a plan for whats next at the moment. I am just leaving him be and keeping myself distant. It is what it is, I have said what I needed to say, my truth and the only thing I need to so Im not going to argue and take his bait to pull me back in. I have accepted that I cant back down now or he will never take me seriously. I do have a few different places to go if I need to and both of my parents and older brother are staying here at the moment so I wont be alone with him. Idealy the next step is him moving, this is my house (my dads actually) and he pays nothing here. I
definitely expect him to get worse based on previous experiences, we shall see. He has been at work most of the day so once I see how the afternoon and night goes I will have a better idea of where to go next. I really appericate all of the support.

amy55

Just know how much we care for you here.

I am also glad that you are expecting the worse and preparing for it.

Once you see that life doesn't have to be the way you are living now, you start to look for a future. You now have that hope inside of you for a better life, for you and your child, and you will get there.

Big ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))to you and your child