Things Change
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 170
Things Change
I just wanted to post this thread in case anyone wants to share their story or if it could help anyone. My AH is in his 60s and has gotten to the point where I don't recognize him or his behavior any longer. I should say he never sees a doctor and won't consider it and he has no interest in not drinking. No, I'm not staying with him. I can't any longer because my life isn't tolerable. I live with an angry, ranting man who is becoming progressively more angry.
But it wasn't always like this. Yes, he drank the same amount but it wasn't until he hit his senior years that he started to change. At first it was just a little at a time and now it seems as he's rapidly changing. I thought I could cope with these changes in the beginning that it wasn't so bad and somehow we'd get through it but that has not been the case in my situation.
I'm just posting this in case there is another person out there living with an A that refuses to acknowledge the drinking is a problem. I used to at least be able to talk to my AH but now I can't. It's not going to get better as they age unless they take responsibility for their actions. It's not something you can control or change or wish away.
I've learned so much about myself throughout this process but it's also taken me years to realize I need to be proactive about my life and not his.
Just hope this helps someone who is struggling and if anyone wants to add their story, I think lots of people get strength from reading these threads.
But it wasn't always like this. Yes, he drank the same amount but it wasn't until he hit his senior years that he started to change. At first it was just a little at a time and now it seems as he's rapidly changing. I thought I could cope with these changes in the beginning that it wasn't so bad and somehow we'd get through it but that has not been the case in my situation.
I'm just posting this in case there is another person out there living with an A that refuses to acknowledge the drinking is a problem. I used to at least be able to talk to my AH but now I can't. It's not going to get better as they age unless they take responsibility for their actions. It's not something you can control or change or wish away.
I've learned so much about myself throughout this process but it's also taken me years to realize I need to be proactive about my life and not his.
Just hope this helps someone who is struggling and if anyone wants to add their story, I think lots of people get strength from reading these threads.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Sunny, I'm sorry it's gotten much worse for you. It must be distressing to see your husband go downhill so rapidly.
Lot's of people seem to drink for years without obvious damage, but I guess it catches up in the end. I wish people could see the consequences of alcohol abuse, years down the track.
Lot's of people seem to drink for years without obvious damage, but I guess it catches up in the end. I wish people could see the consequences of alcohol abuse, years down the track.
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