I'm back - Update- Some Peace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 285
I'm back - Update- Some Peace
Hello all - Sorry I haven't been able to come on in a while but I have tried to sporadically read the posts. I've sold the house and we are in a new house that the boys love. There has been a lot of chaos over the past few months with all the changes and it took all my strength to just keep going. My ExAH has spiraled out of control even further down if you could imagine. He is homeless, Jobless and wanted in about 4 cities for an array of things, most serious being attempted robber of a pharmacy. He has only called the kids once in 2 months and it's sad to say that we are all better off. Legally, I do not have to give him our address, only my telephone #, but if he is a wanted fugitive, he cannot see his boys and quite frankly it became too hard for him to lie to the boys when the police kept coming to our house looking for him. There are still so many things to do, but I can't even explain the relief and anxiety that has been lifted since we moved. For my old friends that gave me the strength to get where I am now to survive, thank you. Of course, I never wanted any of this to happen, but it did and it was out of my control. Your advice and support brought me to a point that I needed to survive. For all of you struggling with the fear and anxiety of leaving and remain living in the chaos of addiction along with children, please go back and read my posts. Because my exAH could not choose recovery, I choose to leave and save myself and my boys. It wasn't an easy road that I traveled and I still have a long road ahead of me, but me and my boys are safe and free of the chaos of his addiction. Thanks and hopefully I can be on more often now. The boxes can wait
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
I just wanted to remind you, and others where you were almost exactly a year ago. I think this was your turning point, and look at you shine now. I've read 10's of thousands of posts over the years. This one has always stuck with me as one of the most powerful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ed-spouse.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ed-spouse.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 285
Thank you so much for this reminder. He was actually arrested today and the woman that he was living with was arrested too. He was wanted for armed robbery of a pharmacy... He asked his brother to help him give him a ride. So, his brother was there with his little 6 year old when the police found him. The poor baby had to witness not only her uncle being arrested but all officers had their guns drawn on her daddy's car, as well as a precautionary measure. I felt sadness when I first read the story in the newspaper. But tonight, all my decisions to break free and save us have been validated. It wasn't an easy decision; however, I made the right decision to rebuild my life with my boys. I pray he finds the help he needs. But I'm grateful I found the strength to survive.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: south florida
Posts: 7
Wow. I read your post as well as the post from a year ago. I'm floored by the realization that others are going through or have gone through something even just somewhat similar to my own experience. I hope i can look back in a year and share your vantage point. Good for you, you should be very proud.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thank you for sharing your continued journey here. You are a beacon of hope for those who are stuck, you are an inspiration for those who are going through the pain of letting go and wondering what is ahead. You are recovery in action and I thank you for always posting honestly and helpfully, so that each one of us learns how dark it can be when we stay under the cloud of addiction and that the light is always there if we look up and follow.
Thank you, thank you.
Hugs and Blessings to you and your dear children.
Thank you, thank you.
Hugs and Blessings to you and your dear children.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Thank you for sharing your journey. You are one smart cookie to figure out what was within your control....and what was not. Glad to hear that things are going well and you and the boys are safe and not having to deal with the chaos.
It's sad to hear about your husband's life spiral but it is soooooo good to hear how you have risen above it to ensure a less stressful life for yourself and your children!
Keep taking care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
It's sad to hear about your husband's life spiral but it is soooooo good to hear how you have risen above it to ensure a less stressful life for yourself and your children!
Keep taking care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 398
I just want to give you a big HUG!
You are such an amazing woman! You and your boys have gone through so much!
I hope the move went smoothly and am glad you're able to begin building a peaceful life with your sons. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You have helped me tremendously!
You are such an amazing woman! You and your boys have gone through so much!
I hope the move went smoothly and am glad you're able to begin building a peaceful life with your sons. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You have helped me tremendously!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 285
I am honestly not a crier but you all have humbled me tonight to the point of tears. I hope and pray that I am on a path, which I can begin to give the support and guidance that I have and continue to receive from this board. Addiction has no boundaries...But we as loved ones of addicts can set boundaries to heal from the pain and chaos of this horrendous disease. Thank you all so much.
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