WhyIsThisMyLife

If there is one thing that fuels my addictions, its my husband (soon to be X). Our relationship is extremely toxic. We have two small children. It's one of those cant be with each other, can't be without. We have done bad things to each other both of us had affairs. He had his with my Mexican host daughter though (we didn't live together at the time). Then after I found out, he came to my home and did something so I could not access Facebook as they were afraid I would tell her mother. I finally decided to stop trying to be his friend after he took money I had saved for our kids daycare and used it for himself. He has not worked since November or paid child support. He felt he needed it more than I did. He has done it before. So, now its five days with me "moving on." He keeps texting and now, he has me crying saying he just needs someone to talk to him. I know what it's like to be lonely, but I also have had my psychiatrist, psychologist and sister say to stay away from him. I always defend him. He doesn't have any friends and he is not close to his family. I believe him to be undiagnosed with a form of autism. He wants friends, but does not know how to be one or be loyal. He feels I disrespect him, because I yell and curse. I drink and release my anger on him and admit I name call, throw things, but I don't get violent with him. I'm sitting here crying. I want to talk to him, I'm sorry about his loneliness. But, I can't take the frustrations. I cant take the disrespect. I can't take the arguments. He is seeing a counselor and I am. Luckily, I see her Wednesday. Until then, I'm sitting here wondering what I should do. I know this was a book!

ScottFromWI

Honestly, i'd take the advice of all those other people you trust who have said to stay away from him. Change your phone number too so he can't text you anymore if that's a trigger. Work on your sobriety and being a good parent for your kids - things that you can change.

Soberpotamus

Whatever you do, just don't drink...