SoulKat

I don't know. I am struggling with my sobriety, I am an alcoholic. I have not traded my alcohol for another addiction (so far). But my thing is that my husband is addicted to pot. He is also an alcoholic but sober for nearly 30 years now. My point is that he traded one for the other, am I wrong? He is so fully in denial about his addiction that he accused me of using an illegal substance when I took some of my mom's vicodin (she gave me) for my chronic arthritis. Because I don't have my own RX. Well my mom died last year so I live with Tylenol and Ibuprofen. But I find is condescending attitude and his judgmental ways about my struggle with alchol so ridiculous. He even gets difficult to live with when he's out and can't get a hold of his dealer! I'm sorry I don't know if this is just a rant. I don't know what to do. I guess we just don't talk about either one, not my problem, not his problem even tho he doesn't see it as a problem.

I just think he's a big fat phoney for acting so high and mighty because he doesn't drink when he is certainly NOT clean and sober.

Thanks for listening. I'm grateful to all of you.

AnvilheadII

that does sound frustrating. sometimes even if just temporarily the best we can do is agree to disagree and then leave the topic(s) alone. i do know, for me, that when i stare at somebody else's problems (real OR perceived!!!) i'm taking the focus off my own and next thing ya know....MY Problems have doubled in size!!

your job is your sobriety. do it and do it well!!! to the best of your ability. how anybody else chooses to approach sobriety is THEIR business, even up to and including your husband. (and vice versa..).

legna

It seems that you are both judging each others actions. You're judging his pot smoking and he's judging your taking prescription drugs not prescribed to you. You don't need to accept every invitation to an argument and you don't need to keep sending out invitations either.

You didn't say why he is smoking pot (whether it is for recreational purposes or for a medical reason - perceived or otherwise) but I have come to believe that there are some valid medical reasons for smoking pot after accompanying a sponsee to his doctor and listening to the doctor make an argument for marijuana in his case over opiates for a severe chronic pain condition. I'm going to assume however, that it's not for medicinal reasons...

So, making that assumption, what's your course of action? Is his pot smoking threatening your sobriety? If it were threatening mine, I would leave if he would not refrain. It seems that prior to making a decision you want to know that you are right first...really, what does it matter? If it is affecting you adversely, you have the right (and the responsibility) to take whatever actions you find necessary to protect yourself.

SoulKat

I knew I'd get some great advice posting this concern of mine. Thanks so much. Yep I guess I've been judging him as much as he's been judging me but his pot smoking was never a problem for me until he started eagle eyeing my behaviors. I felt he should mind his own business and problems before looking at me. But again, it's true I need to focus on my sobriety and not be concerned with what he's doing. Frankly, no, his smoking is not threatening my sobriety so I should probably just shut up about it altogether, right?