JasonBasin

Hi there,

'Functional' alcoholic here. I have a plan to attend AA in late August. I know many people may wonder why not now. I have no answer other than pathetic excuses of holidays and the such...

I guess I am just asking if it is okay to stay chatting here until I attend my first meeting? I found the forum really helpful in my 'forming' stage of my drinking...and now I just feel I need to run the point home until August when I may finally realise that drinking 3 bottles of wine a day and having stupid BP and liver results is not normal! I don't think I am at rock bottom...but maybe I am...

Jason.

Nuudawn

Oh my gosh..yes! I have a just a week under my belt and this place has been my lifeline all the way through it. Awesome people here..with great insight about sobriety a little up the road..as well as people struggling to get through the moments..just like you and me.

Welcome, welcome, welcome...
I guess I too am a "functioning" alcohol..but boy oh boy, as clarity comes day by day it's pretty obvious I could FUNCTION a whole lot better.

Soberpotamus

Hi Jason, welcome to SR! Of course you are welcome to be here whether you attend AA or not. Lots of support here.

duane1

There are people here in all stages of recovery. Welcome!
BTW, I said I would quit sometime in the future for 10 years. Be careful, things could start to roll down hill pretty fast. It is your AV that isn't letting you quit right now. A pretty clear sign that you are an alcoholic and need to stop before it gets worse. I quit on a holiday weekend a year ago last week. It can be done. Maybe you should join this months group and have a go at it.

JasonBasin

That message was lovely thankyou! I think functioning alcoholic is misleading...I perform well at work (probably too well) but I get home at 4pm and drink and drink and drink....and don't speak to my friends of my family...not actually functional!!!! I will get there (Well I hope I will) and have found this forum helpful in making me feel in control xx

ScottFromWI

There are no rules to say you can't be here chatting if you aren't sober yet. Heck, a lot of people actively involved in AA are still drinking.

I would question why you would postpone quitting though, especially in light of your BP and liver results. You could do irreparable damage to your liver in the next 3 months if you haven't already. Are holidays worth more to you than your health ( and potentially your life? )

Happier

You are always welcome here. Keep reading and posting. I know that helps me.
I share the concern about waiting to quit though. There will always be another holiday, another celebration, another tough time, another, another, another.....
If that is an excuse then it will unfortunately always be there.
None of us are guaranteed our next breath, let alone our next holiday. All we really have is this moment....right now. That is why right now is the only time to quit. It will be that way whenever you decide to do it. Please do not wait too long.....we simply never know how many more chances we get.
Glad you are here.

JasonBasin

Cheers,

As before the amount of replies within seconds is amazing. Scot the reason I am waiting for August isn't the best...I intend to drink too much and come home and engage with AA...I know from a sober point of view that seems silly...but the Spanish holiday is my final fairwell to booze (Does that sound like a lie?! It honestly might be)....

But I have a good friend who is taking me to my first meeting and then I have to go it alone...Jx.

yukonm

I found that I had to use a different measuring stick to determine that I actually HAD hit bottom. I had plenty of money, a nice home, a nice car etc BUT I was mentally, physically and spiritually bankrupt.
Glad that you are here....you'll find lots of support.
My name is Mary and I have been in recovery since Aug 21, 2007.

JasonBasin

Good words..thanks....

Nuudawn

Hey Jason..I think I missed something in your original post (like the August part of quitting). Perhaps reading/posting here will make you rethink the future quit date and start living for today. I too drank only at night...and wine was my poison. I didn't need 3 bottles to get drunk..one or more did the trick...sometimes less. But essentially I was drinking my way through life and accomplishing little.
My prayer is that something sparks an earlier quit for you...but nevertheless I appreciate your desire to try life sober.

ScottFromWI

Just to clarify as I want to make sure I understand your original post - you currently know that your BP and liver tests show up abnormal, or you are hoping they don't when you quit in August?

JasonBasin

Maybe I am thinking about rock bottom purely financial? I need to think of rock bottom more globally. I have the best daughter ever and am so scared that my rock bottom will eventually affect her...x

ImperfectlyMe

Stick around Jason you may just want to move that day up! But either way this is your journey, no one gets to decide how it's done although we all strive for the same destination.

Two months sober and couldn't have gotten here without SR.... welcome!

Climber122

Certainly welcome here! And as you decide whether or not you are an alcoholic, try and keep from comparing yourself to others. It's one of the many ways your addiction is actively keeping you from seeking the help you need. If you think you might be, you probably are, but we all have to reach varying degrees of pain before we come in. I know I wouldn't have stopped and didn't want to stop were it not for a poignant event occurring in my life. My thought process: Sure, I had a problem but I certainly wasn't a drunk and wasn't "that bad." I still had my wife, kids, job, house, car... Drunks are guys under the bridge... These are the ways I "compared out" instead of looking at the simple fact of how much I drank and how I used booze to deal with my inability to cope with life. Once AA shined a light on it, I realized I was just a drunk and I became part of a group and gained a Power that I wouldn't trade for all the drunken summers in the World. God bless and keep talking - only you can become willing, but hanging out here might help to get you headed towards a meeting.

doggonecarl

Jason, your first post here what "How do I trick myself into going to an AA meeting."

I take it you didn't go? Now you are posting about not going until Aug, when you'll decide to quit drinking.

I think the only tricking going on is your addiction tricking you to keep drinking.

Continue to read and post. Maybe something someone posts here will strike a nerve and you'll realize the best time to quit is NOW.

JasonBasin

Scott they are abnormal now and I truely know I need to quit....I don't want my daughter to live without her father...

Nuudawn

Soooo you're drinking to disaster...something that screams "Bottom!". SR is a support group not unlike AA in many ways...and you're already here. I have been here getting sober..not AA. It's here 24/7..no waiting for a meeting time, driving etc. It's right here waiting...just so you know : )

hypochondriac

Post away Jason. It's a good place to get ideas to help you along the way. I have to question your concept of rock bottom though...? I understand the concept itself but you don't have to get there in order to quit. And don't forget there is always a lower place to go. Rock bottom is really six feet under. I was like you as I was a 'functional' alcoholic and I kept putting off the quit date, waiting til things got really serious. It tends to snowball really so watch out. If you feel like you are just putting off the end date it's already time to quit; there must be something pretty serious behind the intention?

JasonBasin

Climber - cheers...yes I need to acknowledge my problem does not compare to others...and you have identified to me that my rock bottom might not have to involve being homeless or in jail. Doggon you are right...I did not trick my self into an AA meeting but I do actually have faith that in August I will start...I drink way too much and have for many years but I also know that I am a black and white person and need deadlines! So August the 25th it is...or sue me!